1. Coca Cola
Tagline: “Open Happiness”
Updated Tagline: “Open Yourself To Diabetes By Age 43”
2. Mastercard
Tagline: “There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard”
Updated Tagline: “Money can’t buy most things that are worthwhile in life. To buy things you don’t need and put yourself in an endless cycle of debt, there’s MasterCard”
3. McDonald’s
Tagline: “I’m Lovin’ It”
Updated Tagline: “I’m Gonna Be Sh*ting Myself Later”
4. Subway
Tagline: “Eat Fresh”
Updated Tagline: “Eat Here When You Can’t Find A Chipotle”
5. De Beers
Tagline: “Diamonds are forever”
Updated Tagline: “Diamonds are until the divorce”
6. Hallmark
Tagline: “When you care enough to send the very best”
Updated Tagline: “When you’re desperate and can’t think of anything to write yourself”
7. Toyota
Tagline: “Let’s go places”
Updated Tagline: “Let’s go places — hopefully, you’re not in a hurry”
8. Avis
Tagline: “We try harder”
Updated Tagline: “We try harder, to upsell you a rental you didn’t ask for”
9. Nike
Tagline: “Just Do It”
Updated Tagline: “Just Do It Overseas In A Sweat Shop, Where The Labor Is Much Cheaper”
10. Hinge
Tagline: “Designed to be deleted”
Updated Tagline: “Designed to ruin most of your Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings on an awkward first date with a complete stranger”
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Josh Redd on Unsplash