I love the actor and producer Ryan Reynolds. I’ve been a fan since way back when he did the romantic comedy “Definitely, Maybe” (2008). He’s witty, handsome, hysterical, and genuine. This was years before Ryan transformed into the mega action hero superstar with “Deadpool” and “Deadpool 2”. Way before his hilarious facetious social media feuds with Hugh Jackman (“Logan”). Let it go, Ryan.
Ryan gave his virtual commencement speech for his alma mater Kitsilano Secondary School and its Class of 2020. In his YouTube video (below), he said, “I thought I’d phone this thing in.” Like he had “phoned in” most of his high school years. Ryan was just saying.
Yet surprisingly, in Ryan’s signature whimsical narrative, he spoke of the importance of having compassion and empathy. He said:
One thing that has worked for me is practicing some form of compassion every day, whether it’s for yourself or someone else.
He wisely said of the commonly used phrase “divide and conquer” paradigm in life, “It’s just getting really fucking boring.”
Amen, Ryan.
Instead of being “stylish,” he said to be “ahead of the curve. . . practice empathy.” In his surprise:
It’s helped me to fully accept and provide love. It’s helped to accept the mistakes I’ve made and learn from them. And above all, it’s made me happy. It’s something I’ll probably work on my whole life…
Bless Ryan. He’s just a good man. He’s got the biggest heart. 46-year-old Ryan got what I’ve gotten over my 58 years on Planet Earth: Have compassion for others and yourself. Be kinder to others and kinder to yourself.
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When I first started working with my therapist Lance, we discussed the things I had accomplished and the difference I had made for others in the past. Lance asked, “You can acknowledge and be kind to others, but not to yourself? Why can’t you be nice to yourself?” I couldn’t answer at the time.
Rather, I couldn’t acknowledge and be kind to myself because I constantly hated on me. That voice in my head continually said, “Jon, you’re no good!” Working with Lance I distinguished that voice was my dad’s voice when I was 8 years old.
A few years ago, I had fucked up my Thanksgiving by not making any plans for the holiday. So I watched my favorite movie “The Edge of Seventeen” starring the amazing Hailee Steinfeld in the theater on Thanksgiving morning, for the second time.
Hailee played self-loathing 17-year-old Nadine, who said in tears, “I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life with myself.” I got it. It was Nadine. From then on, I got that I stop hating on me so much or at least be kinder to myself. As Cheryl reminds, “Be kind to others and be kind to yourself.” That’s been something I’ve practiced ever since. Like Mizukami Sensei would tell me, “Just train.”
Like Ryan, I practice compassion for others, and especially for myself. I practice loving me for what I am and forgiving me for what I’m not. That’s something I have to practice for the rest of my life, as well.
In the midst of this COVID-19 pandemic and shelter-in-place, I have to find work on a new Program. Not exactly ideal. Actually, it kind of sucks. Yet, I recall what the late Kobe Bryant said of failure, “It excites me.” From failure, he invented “What’s next”.
Yeah, I have fear. Yet, I have the possibility of working with good men, I know from my work on previous programs in my career, for what looks like an amazing opportunity. What happened, happened. Yes, the future is still unknown. Yet, I look at “What’s next.” That excites me.
Bless Ryan Reynolds. We all should practice empathy and compassion every day. Especially, compassion and empathy for ourselves. The world is uncertain, unpredictable; all we can do is our best. Part of being our best, our own greater-than version is having compassion for others, and for ourselves. Just saying.
Watch this related video: