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Life is full of what if’s. Dreams and hopes are fantastic, but if the choices and decisions you make in life aren’t grounded in your reality, then they are superficial, intangible, and subject to the whims or desires of people whose opinions of you don’t matter and who may not have your best interests at heart. It’s not to say that you shouldn’t listen to others who may offer valuable insight and ideas; however, keep in mind that only you can determine what is best for you.
Choose your friends wisely. Not everyone who wants to be your friend should be part of your ‘inner circle’. Being selective allows you to consider the actions and words of the people around you and if they are congruent, with whom you are and what you want in your life. If not, then you may be putting yourself in a position that may be contrary to what you believe, or dangerous.
Always stand up for yourself! Speak your truth and don’t be silent if you feel that someone is mistreating, disrespecting, or are not honoring you if you say that you don’t like something they are saying or doing. We teach people how to treat us, and if someone truly cares about you, they will value you and will not intentionally hurt you. Remember, love can be challenging, but it’s not supposed to be mean or hurtful. Love yourself enough to step away from any situation that demeans you.
It can be hard to figure out who you are and what you want, but try to maintain your own equilibrium and don’t be afraid to shine. Be yourself! Don’t allow the influences of friends and associates to dictate your person – remember everyone has something to say and bring to the conversation, so don’t be deterred by the differing opinions of others. Hold fast to who you are and what is important to you; there’s only one you so don’t try to be someone else.
What is meant for you will come so don’t try to steal someone else’s joy, hate on someone’s success, or as they say ‘throw someone under the bus’; being vengeful or prideful is a no win situation. Hard work, honesty, and determination will pay off, so keep pushing, and know that your time will come if you live your life with integrity.
Everything is not as it appears to be; there is a force greater than we can ever imagine so let go of the idea that you can control others; the only person that you can control is you. If you think you can influence the will of others, you’re wrong. Letting go may seem difficult at first, but it will alleviate a tremendous amount of pain and heartache if you only focus on the things you can change, which is your behavior and attitude. Life is challenging enough, so don’t attempt to enforce your will on another. Let the universe take care of any discomfort and sadness when things don’t turn out as you hoped.
Keep your word. The term ‘your word is your bond’ is true. Talk is cheap unless you have some substance or action to back it up. People will appreciate and respect you for it and will know that you are someone that can be trusted and relied upon. Otherwise, who are you if what you say doesn’t match your actions?
Remember that loving and being your authentic self is key to your happiness and don’t expect to receive from others that which you should be giving yourself. If you love yourself, love will come to you so be the friend to yourself that you want from others. Being alone is better that being with people who don’t think you are special because you are! Surround yourself with people who you like, like you and enjoy you and all your quirks and idiosyncrasies.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
I also agree that, what is for you will not pass you. Being a person who has just recently embarked on a new path in life..I have definitely encountered the naysayers, the spirit crushers, and the straight out haters.
But like you, I believe in surrounding myself with quality people and always remaining true to myself..this is key.
Great thoughts and advice on life and how to deal (or not) with the people we let into our lives.
good advice. this stuff is hard to figure out when we’re young. you did a good job putting it all into words.