
My wife and I are very deliberate about doing things together that not only keep things exciting and new but also help us learn about each other and strengthen our relationship. Here are some activities we do together that have helped our relationship and might help you well.
Cook Dinner Together, preferably with music playing
One of our favorite activities is to cook dinner together. I throw on an apron, she throws on her cooking dress, and we take turns picking out some good tuneage.
There’s nothing like cooking dinner while swaying to Leon Bridges to bring you closer to your partner.
Cooking together helps strengthen a relationship for a lot of reasons. Not only is time spent cooking together quality time, but you’re working towards something together. At the end of the night, you can look at the meal you created together and feel proud.
If you’re trying to stay committed to eating healthy, cooking together is a great way to keep each other accountable and support each other. And cooking together isn’t just what happens in the kitchen. Part of cooking together means going shopping for ingredients together, trying to new recipes, divvying up responsibilities, and sharing cleaning duties afterward.
Cooking together is a great way to practice teamwork, try something new, and have fun together.
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Go On a Backpacking Trip Together and create memories that will last a lifetime
I love going on backpacking trips with friends because that’s where some of the deepest and meaningful conversations take place. The same is true when I go with my partner.
In the backcountry, you don’t have access to distractions like computer screens, cell phones, or competing activities. In the backcountry, it’s a few days of uninterrupted time to enjoy each other’s company, struggle together, accomplish something together, and just have fun.
Backpacking trips require you to work together, from planning the trip to figuring out a route to putting up the tent and starting a fire together and figuring out what to do when mosquitos swarm you during dinner prep.
Backpacking trips often bring out your best side, and sometimes your not so best side. You’ve only got each other though when you’re in the backcountry, and you need each other to make it out safely. So whatever side your partner shows you, you’re forced to work it out together.
Backpacking trips are a great opportunity to learn new things about your partner, work together, learn how to resolve conflicts, and learn how to support each other when it’s needed the most. Probably my favorite part about backpacking trips though is that the memories you create together is something you’ll always have with your partner.
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Volunteer Together, and focus on others besides yourself
Volunteering together is not only a great way to serve your community and give back in a meaningful way, but it gives you the opportunity to learn about what your partner values.
Find an activity you both enjoy doing, whether it’s planting trees, helping build a neighborhood garden or tutoring kids at school. By doing it together, you’ll not only be getting quality time together, but you’ll focus on serving others and giving back.
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Go To Couples Therapy Together, because it’s okay to show vulnerability
Couples therapy isn’t just for when you’ve hit a rocky period in your relationship. Just like individual therapy is good for you, no matter what headspace you’re in, going to couples therapy is a great way to get closer to your partner.
Get out of the mindset that you should go to therapy just to feel better. Therapy is about getting better as a person. And that includes getting better together as a couple.
Therapy provides a safe place where you can open up and be vulnerable. In couples therapy, your therapist can get you to think about things differently, call you out if you’re interrupting your partner, and ask good, thoughtful questions.
Too often we wait until something is really bothering us before we say anything to our partner. This often leads to outbursts of feelings, rather the healthier action, which is to explain how we’re feeling. Couple’s therapy provides a setting where you can explain your feelings and any pain you might be feeling instead of letting things build-up, which can lead to resentment, becoming closed off, out outbursts of emotions.
In couples therapy, you’re forced to be vulnerable with your partner. If being vulnerable isn’t something that comes easily for you, going to couple therapy together can help you open up more. Showing vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and it will help you better understand and appreciate your partner.
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5. Workout Together, but don’t make it a competition
This is one of our favorite things to do together. Not only does working out help us achieve our health and fitness goals, but it’s also fun and releases endorphins.
My wife and I like to go to the gym together, but we also love to go on hikes, go kayaking, paddleboarding, etc. Anything that gets our bodies moving and gets us sweating. When you’re working out together, you’re supporting and encouraging and building each other up. Find an activity that you both like and do it together.
And don’t make it a competition. It’s not about seeing who’s better. It’s about doing something together and supporting each other through the activity.
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Do Something New Together and challenge each other
Learning new things together is a great way to keep things fun, and to help each other grow in a new area. Find something you’re both interested in learning and try it out! My wife and I are trying to learn Lithuanian, so we can better communicate with her niece, who is part Lithuanian and learning from her parents.
We’re trying to learn a new language together, but find what you’re interested in. Maybe it’s learning how to make pottery, or signing up for woodworking. Or learning how to play the guitar. Whatever you learn together, doing it together will make it more fun and interesting, you’ll be able to challenge each other and keep each other accountable, and it will help you create new and lasting memories of something accomplished together.
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Do Something Spiritual Together, to help you stay grounded
For us, this takes the form of praying together and going to a non-denominational church. But spirituality isn’t just church, so decide what it looks like for you. Going to church helps keep us grounded, it helps us find purpose and meaning in life, and it provides comfort — especially when things get hard.
What does spirituality look like for you? Maybe it’s yoga, or meditation, or getting out in nature. Find something that helps give you a sense of purpose, that helps keep you grounded, and provides values that you align with. Do it together and it will not only help you on your personal journey but will help bring you closer together as a couple.
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Previously published on Psiloveyou.xyz.
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Photo credit: By Everton Vila on Unsplash