I recently had an unexpected discussion with a relative in my family about me going away on a trip for a few short days. It was just a more factual exchange of information, that I would be going away, and returning a few days later, to which I received a surprised reply. “You’re going away just after the start of school??? But your kids need you! You always get them organized and ready. You have to be around!”
I didn’t say much. I actually wasn’t even sure what to say. After a minute, I assuredly explained that their loving dad who is a devoted father was more than capable of getting them ready for school, getting them on the school bus, making sure they had a meal on the table, got their homework done, and got to bed at a reasonable hour, I wasn’t convincing apparently. “But you’re the one they need at the start of school to make sure they have everything and make sure everything goes smoothly.”
I continued to try to assure them that life for my kids would carry on without me for a few short days, the tone of the conversation continued that my poor children would be deprived if their mom “abandoned them” during their time of need.
After hanging up the phone, I sat on my couch bewildered and replayed the conversation in my head, now questioning if I should go away at all. But the more I thought about it, I became more annoyed and a bit aggravated.
I am not sure why society deems that moms are supposedly better or more suited for child rearing. Are moms the only ones who ensure all goes well with their children? Are dads not capable to handle this as well? I mean yes, women tend to be caregivers and nurturers and are more prevalent in certain career fields of this nature such as nursing, daycare providers, elder care assistants, among others, but men are perfectly capable of caregiving and overseeing children and elderly parents or relatives the same as women.
At least that’s the way I see it. I am a Gen Xer so maybe that has something to do with it.
The previous generation of the Boomers had more women staying at home and raising the children so that is definitely perhaps part of the underlying rationale for why it would not be appropriate for me to be going away leaving my poor children under their father’s supervision.
But I would dare to venture that Gen Xers, Millenials, and Gen Y, Z, Alpha and the next generations to come are looking for an equal partnership to provide for and raise their children.
I don’t think the narrative that moms are the only ones capable of handling the day-to-day logistics of child-rearing is helpful to parents or society as a whole. At least in my humble opinion, it is beneficial to children who have both parents available to help take care of them, to learn and to grow. Both moms and dads offer value in different ways to assist with their development and molding them into the adults they will soon become.
So for now, I will be going away for a few short days.
We shall soon see if everyone is still alive and well under dad’s watchful eye, upon mom’s return to the homefront.
I myself am not worried in the least, and their dad is looking forward to spend some quality one-on-one time with his children.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Marcin Jozwiak on Unsplash
