Dads Matter

We will honor our dads on Sunday with Father’s Day.

It’s wonderful that most fathers show up and want only the best for their children. They are available, loving, and involved.

And it can be a bittersweet day for those concerned about their son or daughter or who have lost their child to addiction.

Fathers have a significant impact on their children and are so needed.

I made many mistakes when raising my kids. And I ended up getting divorced from them their dad. But the one thing that I think we did well, is that their dad and I were both involved in our kids’ lives.

They knew they were loved and we were both there for them.

My dad has been gone for over a decade, but I have fond memories of him. When my three brothers and I needed him, he was there. He always cared and tried to do the right thing as a father. We always knew he loved us.

And now, seeing my son and son-in-law be fathers is fun and rewarding. They are both hands-on in the trenches, with their wives doing the everyday chores of raising a child.

That is also not to say that single moms can’t raise healthy adults. They can. Yet, having a male father figure in the picture if a father is unavailable can be a big help.

Children deserve both parents whenever possible. Fathers are crucial contributors to a child’s wellbeing.

Yet, we continue to have a crisis around absent fathers.

• Eighty-five percent of people in prison grew up without a father.
• More than 70 percent of students who drop out of school come from fatherless homes.

Dads play a vital role in a healthy upbringing for a child.

In previous generations, a father’s child-raising role in the family was considered minor. The expectation was to provide for the family financially. The mom took care of the upbringing of the children.

Now things have changed.

We have dads who stay at home, raising the children who rely on their wives to provide the income. We have many families with two working parents who share in the child-raising. And some moms stay home and raise the kids while their husbands support the family. And we have same-sex unions as well.

All scenarios can work well. What doesn’t work well is when a dad doesn’t show up and take responsibility for being a positive force in their child’s life.

It’s about being there with compassion, and letting your child know they are essential, loved, and the center of your life.

Fathers are vital to the healthy upbringing of a son or daughter.

The greatest gift you can give your child as a father is to be in their lives in a healthy, loving way.

But if your child is someone who doesn’t have a positive father figure in your life, Don Miller, author of Father Fiction, sums it up nicely:

“Just because we grew up without dads or life was hard coming up doesn’t mean we have to be complete idiots for the rest of our lives. We can be just as successful as the next guy as long as we learn a few things. When you think about it, people do it all the time–climb out of the ghetto or whatever, earn a good income, provide for a family, and change the direction of their legacy.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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