Growing up as a gay Baby Boomer, I never thought that I would one day be able to marry the man of dreams. I did not expect that I could one day exchange vows after registering our legal marriage, and yet on December 13, 2013, that is exactly what I did with my husband!!!
My second relationship lasted for 10 years and my partner registered us as a domestic partnership in a state where it was legal at the time. It was not legal in our home state of Texas. That seems to be a piece of paper and nothing more as it was dissolved unilaterally and I received a copy of the notice to dissolve in the mail.
The third time might indeed be the charm as my husband and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary. We were legally married in 2013 in one of the states where it was legal for us to get married-Washington.
We lived in our home state of Texas without any of the same rights and protections as a married heterosexual couple. We did not receive the same rights and protections until the federal law went into effect in 2015. Living in that limbo was challenging at best given the lack of recognition for our legal marriage.
Three lessons, in particular, come to mind as I reflect on our marriage.
- Dream the dreams that seem impossible no matter what. There are forces at play that will support what is right when it comes to the universal right to love whom you want.
2. Dare to bold in living life in ways that appear to make you less than others. Being denied the same access when it comes to rights and protections is wrong and no one or no group should ever have the power to make discrimination a way of life.
3. Determine to make a difference by living life proudly despite the messages that would have you believe you are less than or not entitled to the same rights and protections as others.
While my dreams have come true in being married to the man I love, for us the path to being married was anything but normal. We tend to be more grateful for what we have given the fact that we did not have it from day one.
What comes to mind when you think of others not having the same rights and protections under the law?
How do you approach being an ally to others in your life who might not have access to the same rights and protections?
How has your life been impacted by being denied equal rights?
With much gratitude…
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