Date a man who dances because a man who dances is one of the strongest men alive. A man who dances has faced his peers and told them “Begone, give me room to move.” He is no ordinary man, when you date a man who dances that strength lies by your side. Within easy reach is a man who has convictions and isn’t afraid to live by them, When you date a man who dances you can trust he is standing behind his conviction that you are a person worth dating and he won’t back down. A man who dances may have strength in his arms but his real strength lies in his mind and his passions and a man who dances has the strength to use them.
When you date a man who dances he will show the very heartbeat of life around you.
When you date a man who dances under his strength he owns a softer side. He understands the language of touch and he is strong enough to listen. A man who dances knows how to hold you. He can feel your every thought. When you date a man who dances he can tell when you are afraid, excited, in love, trusting, happy or sad. If you date a man who can dance when he holds you he also knows how to talk to you when you touch. When a man who dances holds you he can turn you around, turn you up or turn you on. His hold can make a bad day sunny, he can hold you tight so you never want to let go. A man who dances can hold you in such ways that you can close your eyes and let go and know he won’t let you fall.
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A man who dances isn’t a normal man. When you date a man who dances he will show the very heartbeat of life around you. He will tap it out for you until your feet want to move and your fingers twitch to the beat. A man who dances will show you that every sound has a flow and ebb and his body can float through these waves. A man who dances can take you on a journey through peaks and troughs more gloriously than any speedboat ride and when it stops you’ll be left with an empty spot you didn’t know needed filling.
You see when you date a man who dances he knows how to lead. That speedboat ride wasn’t chaotic and random. He sees those crests and valleys and he will take you through them with ease. Because a man who dances has the path picked out. When you date a man who dances you won’t stumble because when he’s holding you he already knows you’re on the wrong foot. A man who dances will change the move so your wrong foot is exactly the right foot. A man who dances will give you so many opportunities to ride those crests and be graceful, sexy, seductive and exuberant that you won’t understand how no one else can make you look and feel that way. A man who dances knows how to lead you to those places and he isn’t afraid to take you there.
You will never feel as alive as you do with a man who dances.
When you date a man who dances he makes you feel that way because he has passion in abundance. A man who dances knows that a passion shared is a passion doubled. He doesn’t hide it from the world or let it squalor at the bottom of his heart too afraid to let it shine. A man who dances wants you to be so caught up in his passion that you don’t want to let go, He wants you to hold him while he dances as if nothing else existed and have that very passion reflected back to him. He wants to see his passion shine from your eyes as you ride those crests. He wants to see it turned into seduction, pleasure and desire, to see it beat out through music, rhythm and movement and a man who dances needs someone there to follow him.
You will never feel as alive as you do with a man who dances. A man who dances will show you how to live in a way that is primal. He will take your heart and your mind to a place most have forgotten. When you date a man who dances he will destroy your concepts of what men should be and show you what men really are. When you date a man who dances you must be prepared to never look back at ordinary men because few will ever hold the flame that a man who dances does. Nor will ordinary men be able to take you to the places a man who dances can. Dating a man who dances is a one way trip to a world of beauty which few can return untouched and none forget. He will set a standard you didn’t know could be reached and the ordinary will never be as satisfying again.
Not all who dance know how to lead. Not all who dance know how to show off their partner.
Not all who dancr are patient and generous. Some hurriedly moves you through flinging you across then blaming their partner. Its a certain kind of man who knows how to dance with a partner. Some men think they know how to dance, or think they know how to lead….
Guest
Rosy
6 years ago
Love this. As an ex-dancer and one who has dated several men who love to dance, I totally agree! There is something so powerful about connecting through the body – emotions, rhythm, touch – it’s great foreplay!
Guest
Saganhill
6 years ago
What a load of bullshit. The only reason a guy dances with a woman is to get laid. Nothing else. The only reason a guy, any guy will dance with you is he thinks he is going to have sex with you afterwards. That is the only reason. Once you find a guy and get married do you think he will continue to dance? No. So, think about this. You are choosing your life partner on the presumption he will dance with you the rest of your lives. NOT. 99% of the women I know are on their second and… Read more »
Hmm.. Well my experience is the opposite in my 47 years I have seen couples that have no shared interests get divorced. But those that share the love of dance are still together. A man that can Shake his tail in the club is NOT what I think of when I think of a man that dances. It’s a passion that they have to work on and perfect and be dedicated to. In the dancing world such as Ballroom, or West Coast Swing it takes a dedication, that most club hoppers do not possess. We practice daily, we count the… Read more »
from a man who dances, I can solely put this down to wrong partner choosing. studying a man’s dance is more primitive, but then not to forget that dancing is a primate thing and has been used by indigenous tribes for thousands of years, exotic birds also use this. but the point to put into perspective is, whether a person is dancing for the right reasons? ie:does the person feel the music? fall in love with the beat of the music? some people are on the dancefloor yes to solely get hitched with a mate (not as in thumbs up… Read more »
Boy, you are bitter. That’s the reason you’re single – not because you can’t dance. You must’ve had a girl stolen from you from a man that can dance. Your comments are out of pure ignorance. I dance because I like to. I take my wife dancing at least once-a-week. I don’t need to dance to get laid. Meanwhile, you probably couldn’t get laid in a morgue.
Total BS. Im right and you are wrong. Dance is nothing but a craft that was invented to bring on the rains. It has nothing to do with relationships or how to treat someone sexually. Idiots.
The only reason you get laid is because you dance. Im not bitter. Im happy. No bills, no kids, and I do want I want. I get laid more than you care to think. Different women, different times. Then I move on. You on the other hand I would imagine gets laid only under certain conditions like a trained bear.
Preach! Such a shame, lots of men don’t understand that there are plenty of women out there who don’t want a wooden man. Honestly, when I meet a guy who is unable to move his hips, I assume that he must suck in bed because how are gonna please another human being, when you can’t even understand your own body or make it move it like you want?
I think that is the most idiotic, moronic statement I ever heard and woman like you repeat it like it’s a law. That old, idiotic argument that guys are any lees of a man in bed because they do not dance is repeated my stupid women who think a drum machine is a musical instrument. Sex is a natural think and ALL men can move their hips just fine to sexually satisfy any women. Especially the ones who dance. How the fuck can you even say that when you probably never even slept with a non-Dancer? Dancing does not preclude… Read more »
Guest
Renee
6 years ago
Amen!!!
Guest
Aaron
6 years ago
It’s a bit of a corny article, but I like it.
Guest
Xnxx
6 years ago
I was googling why women lik guys who can dance..n I came across this little poem. Well I am truly fascinated wit the fact of how women seem to like REALLY LOVE A GUY THAT CAN DANCE. Trust me it really does fascinate me. I hear women lik to relate dancin wit sex, aguy’s personality, vitality nconfidence … But yea I am one of those guys who can dance and I enjoy it alot … its pretty much a hobby … Sometimes wen I tell ppl that I can dance they get surprised n make a big deal about it… Read more »
that’s great that you have had positive experiences with dance. I go out dancing often, but feel like I’m about to end up in fights everytime I dance, and women try to physically provoke me too. yet people tell me I’m quite the dancer and a very unique one. admittedly, I get what you get also, people watch me everytime I dance, and yes, a lot of women watch me all the time, but then I’m turning 39 this week while you are in your best years, I started dancing at over 36 and while I have more of the… Read more »
Ok. Good dancing skills, red hair, and dancer’s physique. …what’s not to love? Perhaps the vibes you get are from jealousy or perhaps these women that you encounter cannot “read you” so they throw shade. Just continue dancing and stay cordial and confident.
Guest
Francisca
7 years ago
Sure, find me one….. I will date a man who dances any day, as long as he a great man too!
You are preaching to the choir – women / girls already like, date and bed men that dance. I don’t dance, I doubt I ever will. When I was 13, I asked a girl to a dance, she said no. oh well – big woop….. she also however told all of her friends, not to say yes either – and as it was ‘the popular crowd’ – it became the unwritten rule – no girl would ever say yes to me for a dance. I had several girls tell me that they would not dance nor date me and shouldn’t… Read more »
trust me, from a man who is told he can dance, it doesn’t get women. women only go for the men who are already seen as the in crowd. a man can be a great dancer perse but if he isn’t seen as a looker, popular or have high status, he will still wind up being hated by women. I know from 1st hand experience. I’m told I dance really well by most people I come in contact with so to speak, and women hate my guts when I’m on a dancefloor, because I’m no oil painting so to speak.… Read more »
trust me, from a man who is told he can dance, it doesn’t get women. women only go for the men who are already seen as the in crowd. a man can be a great dancer perse but if he isn’t seen as a looker, popular or have high status, he will still wind up being hated by women. I know from 1st hand experience. I’m told I dance really well by most people I come in contact with so to speak, and women hate my guts when I’m on a dancefloor, because I’m no oil painting so to speak.… Read more »
Bronze Member
Norman Prather
7 years ago
As one of the men who don’t dance (whose wife wishes he did) your article was like reading a foreign language. I simply don’t understand it.
Guest
Jyrki Keisala
7 years ago
Thank you for an extremely inspirational article! I teach social dance in Finland, where it is a unique and lively culture, especially during summertime.
Luke, I am writing my own blog concerning the Finnish social dance culture, and it is written in Finnish. I have a request for you: would it be possible for me to translate your marvelous article in Finnish and publish it in my blog – with references to the original article, of course?
I would be grateful if you could drop me a line to my e-mail concerning my request.
Occasionally the web leads me to discussions which have nothing to do with my work or interests. I’ve found this little diversion fascinating. Largely, I suspect, because I’m one of those discussed: I don’t dance. While my wife wishes I did she has finally accepted that nothing terrifies me as much as dancing. I’ve been in places and situations which are legitimately dangerous even life threatening. I was less stressed there than I am when the band starts at a wedding dance and my wife looks hopeful.
Guest
Jennifer
7 years ago
I just found this article courtesy of the “Ballroom and Latin dancers, friends and supporters” Facebook page. Luke, this article is just perfect! You nailed it. I’ve been Ballroom dancing for a few years, and you described my experience as a “follower” to a “T”! And yes, like another lady commenter, it left me wanting a drink – lol. I’ve been blessed with several wonderful (happily married) gentlemen as dance partners in the past few years, but still waiting for that “one partner”…
Guest
Amber Dempsie
7 years ago
Absolutely pornographical! What *FILTH*! ? ….. (runs to yet another dance class….)
Guest
Andrew Twesme
8 years ago
I have East Coast Swing Dance for 3 years and entered into the World of Ballroom and Latin dance about 10 months ago and i am already looking to compete. I am enjoyed every bit of dancing and so happy I am dancing.
Guest
Robert Baden
8 years ago
I got my start in folk dancing. If I hadn’t run across it I probably never would have started dancing. I found it much easier to learn to move to the music in a simple line or a circle dance without having to worry if I was ruining my partners enjoyment of the dance. All you need to do is try to move in the same direction as everyone else. Once I learned how to hear and move to the music (and Balkan music has some strange rhythms) it was much easier to pick up simple couple dances, then more… Read more »
Guest
Emily
8 years ago
I have the amazing opportunity to attend a wonderful university where dancing is pretty strong. The main issue is getting guys to join the beginning (bronze) level classes. Once you can convince the guys to come, though, they are hooked! I know my life changed once I started taking dance classes every semester. The people are phenomenal, the dances gorgeous, and I’ve come to love a good Foxtrot. Dance is a way to connect with people and feel good about yourself if nothing else in life is going as planned. Learning to follow leads, both good and bad, has been… Read more »
Guest
Swati Thapar
8 years ago
Why does every sentence of every line, in each paragraph begin with ‘When you date a man who dances’. It is quite clear to the reader that from the initial few lines that this blog is about a man who knows how to dance well, repeating it over and over, makes it very tiring to read, and makes this piece come across as a very unimaginative one. Even before clicking on the blog, I was going to share this with a friend, but changed my mind after reading it half-way. Having said that, I am also an avid reader and… Read more »
It’s a form of poetic prose, one of my first attempts, I am getting better at it though. It has some of the rhythm and structure of a poem but in prose form. The use of structure and repetition is a way of keeping the readers attention so they read the entire article. It’s an old form of story telling that I would like to bring back. Saying that you are welcome to your individual tastes in writing, I don’t aim to please everyone. Tastes in writing vary as much as taste in music. The number of people who have… Read more »
Outstanding, poetic article, Luke. I shared it with a personal friend who does not easily swoon…her response: “I need a drink! STAT!! Lordy. And make it super-hi-test!!! Where’s that barstool I just fell off of?”, etc. Well done, Luke; you really nailed this one.
Great piece Luke. What you wrote resonates completely with me and my experience. Thank you! Except for doing the “bear-hug drape” as a teen, my experience with dancing was bad and I avoided it at all costs. Six years ago, in my 40’s, I realized I had to face and at least try to overcome my life long fear. If nothing else, with three daughters I would probably be called upon to do a wedding dance or two. I committed to one year of lessons. Progress was slow and painful. I walked out on more than one lesson, frustrated and… Read more »
That’s awesome Jim.
I’m much the same as you 5 years ago, I’ve been dancing Zouk for a year now but about to branch out into Salsa and Bachata. The first three months are definitely the hardest but the next 6 are harder :). The first three are hard because of lack of confidence and the next 6 are hard because you want to be great at dancing but can’t quite achieve it – yet.
There really isn’t any excuse for someone not to dance. I know people in wheelchairs who still do a mean salsa.
I would just like to state that your story inspired me more than most dancer’s novels ever could. the fact that you persevered in dance, stating that you were terrified and slow in picking it up, walking out of classes, but coming back for more, speaks more of you than most people and to this, I salute you in the best ways possible. the fact that it changed your life is great and enamouring also. dance can do this to people. admittedly, I’m still stuck in a rut due to a vile job, which results in constant anger, hatred and… Read more »
Guest
Theorema Egregium
8 years ago
It is quite curious how dancing, which by definition was something that men and women did together in mixed-gender pairs (heteronormativism duly noted) turned into something that women do and men … don’t. How something as implicitely erotic as dancing could end up being seen as shameful for a man, I will never know.
Good question Theorema. I believe the reason why dancing is seen as shameful for men is because we live in an age where masculinity has been mis-defined. We as men are taught and raised to be strong physically as well as mentally and emotionally, to never show our emotions, to be tough, assertive and aggressive, to be “a man”. Now all of that is a true statement as these are the qualities that women are drawn too; however, there has been such an over-emphasis on these fierce “alpha” traits that somehow dancing has been viewed as more feminine and something… Read more »
Thanks Michael.
It’s something I have been pondering too.
On the odd occasion I have had the quip about how gay dancing is then I show them a photo of a class with 15 beautiful women and 3 guys and tell them “Yep gay alright, tell me how many beautiful women are you holding in your arms tonight while you watch footy with your guy friends.” Oddly I have never had a response.
Leading and following both requires trust.
For the leader, trust that the follower will follow.
And for the follower, trust that the leader has your back, as you point out.
But in a society where “respect” is now conflated with “fear”, and trust is routinely breached with a click of a “share” button, perhaps it’s no wonder this kind of dancing seems obsolete?
Yes, but this does not have to be a contradiction in the masculine role. I always look to the past for comparison. There was a time where a man would dance daintily, write poetry, shed tears often, but if you crossed him, run you through with a rapier. We are the only ones who think those things can’t go together. What an idea of masculinity do we have now, that we feel we would need to call Giacomo Casanova unmanly or gay?
But back on the topic. I’ve never said or heard anyone say “dancing is gay”. Dancing is simply too anxiety inducing to be fun. Speaking only about myself, When I was younger I spent years working in refugee camps in a war zone but nothing scares me more than a dance floor and my wife’s hopeful look.
I’m really not sure why lead/follow dancing would ever be seen as feminine on the part of the man. One of the older aspects of the idea of masculinity is the man taking care of the woman, and nothing makes me feel more taken care of than a dance with a good lead.
I think about this every time I have to explain to my wife I really don’t want to dance. It seems the answer is self consciousness. I’m acutely aware of being on the dance floor and it terrifies me. I’ve been in situations which were honestly life threatening. It might seem odd but while I might have been scared, after the fact, I prefer that experience to the dance floor. The worst that could have happened is that I could have died. Embarrassment is much worse.
Guest
Melissa
8 years ago
As a woman who has danced her life, some of that as a job. I wholeheartedly agree, I love men who dance but then I’ve been lucky enough to count them as my friends my whole life. Now if i can just find a man to date me who dances then we are winning
oh we are out there, however, some of us men aren’t seen as good enough looking, and I’m also autistic so women want to physically pick fights with me on a dancefloor instead because of this. also, ive done 5 salsa lessons earlier this year, and I sensed hostility from some of the women there too, I go to a social dance and most of the women there hate my guts too, I feel like I’m in a battle field when I go out to bars (not overly by choice) and its a toss up between men and women who… Read more »
j
Not all who dance know how to lead. Not all who dance know how to show off their partner.
Not all who dancr are patient and generous. Some hurriedly moves you through flinging you across then blaming their partner. Its a certain kind of man who knows how to dance with a partner. Some men think they know how to dance, or think they know how to lead….
Love this. As an ex-dancer and one who has dated several men who love to dance, I totally agree! There is something so powerful about connecting through the body – emotions, rhythm, touch – it’s great foreplay!
What a load of bullshit. The only reason a guy dances with a woman is to get laid. Nothing else. The only reason a guy, any guy will dance with you is he thinks he is going to have sex with you afterwards. That is the only reason. Once you find a guy and get married do you think he will continue to dance? No. So, think about this. You are choosing your life partner on the presumption he will dance with you the rest of your lives. NOT. 99% of the women I know are on their second and… Read more »
Hmm.. Well my experience is the opposite in my 47 years I have seen couples that have no shared interests get divorced. But those that share the love of dance are still together. A man that can Shake his tail in the club is NOT what I think of when I think of a man that dances. It’s a passion that they have to work on and perfect and be dedicated to. In the dancing world such as Ballroom, or West Coast Swing it takes a dedication, that most club hoppers do not possess. We practice daily, we count the… Read more »
someone’s bitte
from a man who dances, I can solely put this down to wrong partner choosing. studying a man’s dance is more primitive, but then not to forget that dancing is a primate thing and has been used by indigenous tribes for thousands of years, exotic birds also use this. but the point to put into perspective is, whether a person is dancing for the right reasons? ie:does the person feel the music? fall in love with the beat of the music? some people are on the dancefloor yes to solely get hitched with a mate (not as in thumbs up… Read more »
Boy, you are bitter. That’s the reason you’re single – not because you can’t dance. You must’ve had a girl stolen from you from a man that can dance. Your comments are out of pure ignorance. I dance because I like to. I take my wife dancing at least once-a-week. I don’t need to dance to get laid. Meanwhile, you probably couldn’t get laid in a morgue.
Total BS. Im right and you are wrong. Dance is nothing but a craft that was invented to bring on the rains. It has nothing to do with relationships or how to treat someone sexually. Idiots.
The only reason you get laid is because you dance. Im not bitter. Im happy. No bills, no kids, and I do want I want. I get laid more than you care to think. Different women, different times. Then I move on. You on the other hand I would imagine gets laid only under certain conditions like a trained bear.
Yep s bunch of bull
Preach! Such a shame, lots of men don’t understand that there are plenty of women out there who don’t want a wooden man. Honestly, when I meet a guy who is unable to move his hips, I assume that he must suck in bed because how are gonna please another human being, when you can’t even understand your own body or make it move it like you want?
I think that is the most idiotic, moronic statement I ever heard and woman like you repeat it like it’s a law. That old, idiotic argument that guys are any lees of a man in bed because they do not dance is repeated my stupid women who think a drum machine is a musical instrument. Sex is a natural think and ALL men can move their hips just fine to sexually satisfy any women. Especially the ones who dance. How the fuck can you even say that when you probably never even slept with a non-Dancer? Dancing does not preclude… Read more »
Amen!!!
It’s a bit of a corny article, but I like it.
I was googling why women lik guys who can dance..n I came across this little poem. Well I am truly fascinated wit the fact of how women seem to like REALLY LOVE A GUY THAT CAN DANCE. Trust me it really does fascinate me. I hear women lik to relate dancin wit sex, aguy’s personality, vitality nconfidence … But yea I am one of those guys who can dance and I enjoy it alot … its pretty much a hobby … Sometimes wen I tell ppl that I can dance they get surprised n make a big deal about it… Read more »
that’s great that you have had positive experiences with dance. I go out dancing often, but feel like I’m about to end up in fights everytime I dance, and women try to physically provoke me too. yet people tell me I’m quite the dancer and a very unique one. admittedly, I get what you get also, people watch me everytime I dance, and yes, a lot of women watch me all the time, but then I’m turning 39 this week while you are in your best years, I started dancing at over 36 and while I have more of the… Read more »
Ok. Good dancing skills, red hair, and dancer’s physique. …what’s not to love? Perhaps the vibes you get are from jealousy or perhaps these women that you encounter cannot “read you” so they throw shade. Just continue dancing and stay cordial and confident.
Sure, find me one….. I will date a man who dances any day, as long as he a great man too!
You are preaching to the choir – women / girls already like, date and bed men that dance. I don’t dance, I doubt I ever will. When I was 13, I asked a girl to a dance, she said no. oh well – big woop….. she also however told all of her friends, not to say yes either – and as it was ‘the popular crowd’ – it became the unwritten rule – no girl would ever say yes to me for a dance. I had several girls tell me that they would not dance nor date me and shouldn’t… Read more »
trust me, from a man who is told he can dance, it doesn’t get women. women only go for the men who are already seen as the in crowd. a man can be a great dancer perse but if he isn’t seen as a looker, popular or have high status, he will still wind up being hated by women. I know from 1st hand experience. I’m told I dance really well by most people I come in contact with so to speak, and women hate my guts when I’m on a dancefloor, because I’m no oil painting so to speak.… Read more »
trust me, from a man who is told he can dance, it doesn’t get women. women only go for the men who are already seen as the in crowd. a man can be a great dancer perse but if he isn’t seen as a looker, popular or have high status, he will still wind up being hated by women. I know from 1st hand experience. I’m told I dance really well by most people I come in contact with so to speak, and women hate my guts when I’m on a dancefloor, because I’m no oil painting so to speak.… Read more »
As one of the men who don’t dance (whose wife wishes he did) your article was like reading a foreign language. I simply don’t understand it.
Thank you for an extremely inspirational article! I teach social dance in Finland, where it is a unique and lively culture, especially during summertime.
Luke, I am writing my own blog concerning the Finnish social dance culture, and it is written in Finnish. I have a request for you: would it be possible for me to translate your marvelous article in Finnish and publish it in my blog – with references to the original article, of course?
I would be grateful if you could drop me a line to my e-mail concerning my request.
You are quite welcome to Jyrki
I have a few others you are welcome to. Links at the bottom of my latest article
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/that-guy-who-dances-ldvs/
Occasionally the web leads me to discussions which have nothing to do with my work or interests. I’ve found this little diversion fascinating. Largely, I suspect, because I’m one of those discussed: I don’t dance. While my wife wishes I did she has finally accepted that nothing terrifies me as much as dancing. I’ve been in places and situations which are legitimately dangerous even life threatening. I was less stressed there than I am when the band starts at a wedding dance and my wife looks hopeful.
I just found this article courtesy of the “Ballroom and Latin dancers, friends and supporters” Facebook page. Luke, this article is just perfect! You nailed it. I’ve been Ballroom dancing for a few years, and you described my experience as a “follower” to a “T”! And yes, like another lady commenter, it left me wanting a drink – lol. I’ve been blessed with several wonderful (happily married) gentlemen as dance partners in the past few years, but still waiting for that “one partner”…
Absolutely pornographical! What *FILTH*! ? ….. (runs to yet another dance class….)
I have East Coast Swing Dance for 3 years and entered into the World of Ballroom and Latin dance about 10 months ago and i am already looking to compete. I am enjoyed every bit of dancing and so happy I am dancing.
I got my start in folk dancing. If I hadn’t run across it I probably never would have started dancing. I found it much easier to learn to move to the music in a simple line or a circle dance without having to worry if I was ruining my partners enjoyment of the dance. All you need to do is try to move in the same direction as everyone else. Once I learned how to hear and move to the music (and Balkan music has some strange rhythms) it was much easier to pick up simple couple dances, then more… Read more »
I have the amazing opportunity to attend a wonderful university where dancing is pretty strong. The main issue is getting guys to join the beginning (bronze) level classes. Once you can convince the guys to come, though, they are hooked! I know my life changed once I started taking dance classes every semester. The people are phenomenal, the dances gorgeous, and I’ve come to love a good Foxtrot. Dance is a way to connect with people and feel good about yourself if nothing else in life is going as planned. Learning to follow leads, both good and bad, has been… Read more »
Why does every sentence of every line, in each paragraph begin with ‘When you date a man who dances’. It is quite clear to the reader that from the initial few lines that this blog is about a man who knows how to dance well, repeating it over and over, makes it very tiring to read, and makes this piece come across as a very unimaginative one. Even before clicking on the blog, I was going to share this with a friend, but changed my mind after reading it half-way. Having said that, I am also an avid reader and… Read more »
It’s a form of poetic prose, one of my first attempts, I am getting better at it though. It has some of the rhythm and structure of a poem but in prose form. The use of structure and repetition is a way of keeping the readers attention so they read the entire article. It’s an old form of story telling that I would like to bring back. Saying that you are welcome to your individual tastes in writing, I don’t aim to please everyone. Tastes in writing vary as much as taste in music. The number of people who have… Read more »
Outstanding, poetic article, Luke. I shared it with a personal friend who does not easily swoon…her response: “I need a drink! STAT!! Lordy. And make it super-hi-test!!! Where’s that barstool I just fell off of?”, etc. Well done, Luke; you really nailed this one.
🙂 I hope she is OK.
Thanks Curt.
3 words: OH HELL YES.
Great piece Luke. What you wrote resonates completely with me and my experience. Thank you! Except for doing the “bear-hug drape” as a teen, my experience with dancing was bad and I avoided it at all costs. Six years ago, in my 40’s, I realized I had to face and at least try to overcome my life long fear. If nothing else, with three daughters I would probably be called upon to do a wedding dance or two. I committed to one year of lessons. Progress was slow and painful. I walked out on more than one lesson, frustrated and… Read more »
That’s awesome Jim.
I’m much the same as you 5 years ago, I’ve been dancing Zouk for a year now but about to branch out into Salsa and Bachata. The first three months are definitely the hardest but the next 6 are harder :). The first three are hard because of lack of confidence and the next 6 are hard because you want to be great at dancing but can’t quite achieve it – yet.
There really isn’t any excuse for someone not to dance. I know people in wheelchairs who still do a mean salsa.
I’m right there with you!! It is amazing!
I would just like to state that your story inspired me more than most dancer’s novels ever could. the fact that you persevered in dance, stating that you were terrified and slow in picking it up, walking out of classes, but coming back for more, speaks more of you than most people and to this, I salute you in the best ways possible. the fact that it changed your life is great and enamouring also. dance can do this to people. admittedly, I’m still stuck in a rut due to a vile job, which results in constant anger, hatred and… Read more »
It is quite curious how dancing, which by definition was something that men and women did together in mixed-gender pairs (heteronormativism duly noted) turned into something that women do and men … don’t. How something as implicitely erotic as dancing could end up being seen as shameful for a man, I will never know.
Good question Theorema. I believe the reason why dancing is seen as shameful for men is because we live in an age where masculinity has been mis-defined. We as men are taught and raised to be strong physically as well as mentally and emotionally, to never show our emotions, to be tough, assertive and aggressive, to be “a man”. Now all of that is a true statement as these are the qualities that women are drawn too; however, there has been such an over-emphasis on these fierce “alpha” traits that somehow dancing has been viewed as more feminine and something… Read more »
Thanks Michael.
It’s something I have been pondering too.
On the odd occasion I have had the quip about how gay dancing is then I show them a photo of a class with 15 beautiful women and 3 guys and tell them “Yep gay alright, tell me how many beautiful women are you holding in your arms tonight while you watch footy with your guy friends.” Oddly I have never had a response.
Leading and following both requires trust.
For the leader, trust that the follower will follow.
And for the follower, trust that the leader has your back, as you point out.
But in a society where “respect” is now conflated with “fear”, and trust is routinely breached with a click of a “share” button, perhaps it’s no wonder this kind of dancing seems obsolete?
Yes, but this does not have to be a contradiction in the masculine role. I always look to the past for comparison. There was a time where a man would dance daintily, write poetry, shed tears often, but if you crossed him, run you through with a rapier. We are the only ones who think those things can’t go together. What an idea of masculinity do we have now, that we feel we would need to call Giacomo Casanova unmanly or gay?
Oh, Casanova was scum, not gay, just slimy.
But back on the topic. I’ve never said or heard anyone say “dancing is gay”. Dancing is simply too anxiety inducing to be fun. Speaking only about myself, When I was younger I spent years working in refugee camps in a war zone but nothing scares me more than a dance floor and my wife’s hopeful look.
I’m really not sure why lead/follow dancing would ever be seen as feminine on the part of the man. One of the older aspects of the idea of masculinity is the man taking care of the woman, and nothing makes me feel more taken care of than a dance with a good lead.
Because the Protestants banned dancing.
I think about this every time I have to explain to my wife I really don’t want to dance. It seems the answer is self consciousness. I’m acutely aware of being on the dance floor and it terrifies me. I’ve been in situations which were honestly life threatening. It might seem odd but while I might have been scared, after the fact, I prefer that experience to the dance floor. The worst that could have happened is that I could have died. Embarrassment is much worse.
As a woman who has danced her life, some of that as a job. I wholeheartedly agree, I love men who dance but then I’ve been lucky enough to count them as my friends my whole life. Now if i can just find a man to date me who dances then we are winning
We’re out there Melissa, just looking for a lady who dances 🙂
I agree with Luke!
oh we are out there, however, some of us men aren’t seen as good enough looking, and I’m also autistic so women want to physically pick fights with me on a dancefloor instead because of this. also, ive done 5 salsa lessons earlier this year, and I sensed hostility from some of the women there too, I go to a social dance and most of the women there hate my guts too, I feel like I’m in a battle field when I go out to bars (not overly by choice) and its a toss up between men and women who… Read more »
This is a really great article! Thanks, Luke
Thankd Wilhelm.