Dating while older is not all pina coladas and walks on the beach. Unless, of course, you happen to live near a beach. And you like pina coladas. I’m a red wine or margarita girl myself.
And forget walks in the rain. Somebody could slip and fall, or catch their death of cold. Even if you “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” neither of you wants to actually fall.
Walks in the park and on the beach are some of the best ways to date right now. Nice fresh air, and no crowds of people. “These Boots are Made for Walking.” Of course, that also depends on how far each, or either, of you can walk.
Which brings up what each of us is looking for in a partner. We might want a gym rat partner, or we may want a fellow “Couch Potato.” Either way, we want someone to say, “Reach Out, I’ll Be There.”
What are most singles my age looking for? We want someone who says, I love you “Just the Way You Are,” and we hope someday to be able to say, “Your Love Lifted me Higher.”
What do women want specifically? Many of us want a companion, a sex partner, an equal economic partner, equal emotional support, and compatibility. In other words, while i’m not speaking for all women, “I Want it All.”
However, some want a sex partner only. Some want companionship without the sex. Some want the whole shebang, including marriage. A nurse with a purse? We know we aren’t likely to get that, so it’s not a thing for us.
What do men want specifically? Some are looking for a nurse with a purse. Someone who will “Stand by Me,” when they’re old and sick. Personally I find it a bit disturbing to plan for disability, except with a long-term care policy.
Some older men may want a sex partner only. Some of them also want companionship without sex. Some are looking for it all, including marriage. Their motto is “Get Me to the Church on Time.” These are fewer and farther between at a certain age, unless widowed and wanting to replace.
Replace sounds like getting a new car when the old one wears out or is totaled and hauled away. In truth, widowers and widows who had happy marriages make pretty good mates. They already learned how. For them, “This Old Heart of Mine” is ready to love again.
Those of us who are “D-I-V-O-R-C-Ed?” Not so much. We have “Baggage.” As Mary J. Blige says, “I got this baggage with me. I don’t want to make you pay for that.”
At our age, some of us have luggage. The full seven piece set. Or maybe we’ve jettisoned some of it, but have one or two little carry-ons we just can’t part with. Those carry-ons inevitably get in the way and trip us or our prospective partners, and at our age we don’t need to be tripping.
Therapy can help you release the last of your baggage. More importantly, it can keep you from picking the same type bag again, just in a different shape, color or size. “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag.”
And let’s talk about sex. Because, “Baby I Need Your Loving.” Never mind that our flexibility may not be what it used to be. Sometimes we can’t even get to the part where flexibility is required.
Photo by Krakenimages on Unsplash
Men of a certain age may be on blood pressure meds. You know, the ones that thin the blood or keep it from rushing anywhere. Like to the penis. It’s hard to be “Hot Blooded” on statins.
Post-menopausal women may have the wonderfully named condition, vaginal atrophy, which causes penetrative sex to feel like somebody is sand papering your insides. “Girls Just Want to Have fun,” and that’s no fun.
Fortunately, there are solutions to all of these, so “Let’s Get It On.” Yoga, pilates, and dance increase and preserve flexibility. Hormone Replacement Therapy and hyaluronic acid plump the vagina. Cock rings, and loads of foreplay can help with erections.
If you’re feeling you “Can’t Get No Satisfaction,” you might find that foreplay alone, which many younger people rush through to get to the main course, can be delightful, and extremely satisfying. Like a long slow walk in the park. Get good at it and you’re likely to hear, “Do That To Me One More Time.”
What happens if or when we do find each other? “Let’s Stay Together.” Surely we can manage the rest of our lives. Twenty years is a walk in the park. Although “You Can’t Hurry Love,” we might want to speed up the actual falling in love part. Because…you know.
Resources:
Curated lists of songs for every mood, memory, or era you’re feeling.
spinditty.com
My Wedding Songs: Wedding Songs & Wedding Music Inspiration
Wedding Songs – Not sure what songs to play at your weddng? Get unique and popular song suggestions from 600+ curated…
myweddingsongs.com
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Renate Vanaga on Unsplash