Sami Holden is here each week to answer the questions from today’s good men about dating and relationships.
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Welcome to the inaugural post for Dating in the Digital Age with me, Sami Holden. To the good men reading this, you’re probably asking yourself: What does she know? How can she help my dating situation? Why does she want to answer my questions?
I am not coming from a place of being a licensed social worker or a relationship coach. I am just a fellow dater who has experienced a lot. Dating can be tricky and I’d love to see people feel more confident about the process, invariably leading to higher success. Over the last year, I’ve addressed in various articles points to keep in mind for a good first date as well as the most compassionate way to break up with someone. I’m ready to answer all the questions that lie in between.
Let me tell you a little bit about me. I’m currently in my late 20’s and in graduate school with a focus on comedy writing for TV. I didn’t start dating until my early twenties. I was two years advanced in school, which made dating pretty much not in the cards for me in high school or college. I had very thoughtful guy friends who let me be the tag-along in their group. I definitely absorbed knowledge on the dating experience for men that way. I have since experienced both a long-term relationship as well as numerous first dates (somewhere in the 30+ mark) because I didn’t quite know what it was that I was looking for in a significant other.
I frequent Reddit to stay on top of the pulse of what makes for a good on-line profile or what concerns the modern dater. I’m an active Tinder and OKCupid user. OKCupid also just asked me to become a moderator to keep inappropriate or catfishing users off the site – I think they’ve realized I’ve seen a lot. I’ve been on EHarmony, Match, and JDate (I think there are 5 Jews where I live) at some point, too. I’ve had amazing experiences and I’ve had some super strange things occur as well. The best approach to dating is having a sense of humor about it all.
What other insight can I provide? I’m dating while trying to balance graduate school. I’m dating with a disability, which is also a unique situation. I’m the one my male friends come to for advice or to redo their dating profiles. I’ve been in a few interracial relationships. Suffice to say, I’ve had a variety of experiences with dating. Dating can be stressful. There’s pressure on how to plan a good first date. There’s confusion over what a text means, or if it’s bad that it’s taken a full day for a reply. I’d like to use first-hand experience and a lighthearted approach to tackle these lingering dating dilemmas. Also, with the recent articles about Tinder and today’s dating culture, these topics are enough on the forefront of people’s minds that it has now become newsworthy. There is no question I’m too shy to reply to. I’d also like to dispel the myth that all people nearing the age of 30 are desperate to get married. This is not the case.
I’d like to make this a very interactive experience. Each week I’ll select a question (or two) to provide answers that deal with dating and relationships, and each month there will be a special celebrity guest writing in to answer a question as well. This person will be announced the week before. Twitter chats will take place, and you’ll have the opportunity to have your on-line profile read and then I’ll provide my input. I’ve even evaluated profiles for some of The Good Men writers. Dating is fascinating to me and I hope Dating in the Digital Age can be a fun experience for all of us. You can send your pressing questions to [email protected]. All question askers will remain anonymous. Much like a first date I’m slightly nervous, but very excited to hear from you all!
It’s not you, it’s me… nope, that’s the wrong ending. Would you accept this rose? Ok, no that’s from a TV show.
Let’s get this thing started! Yeah, I like that better.
All the best,
Sami
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Photo: Flickr/MattysFlicks
Great post. 🙂