Are you a single guy that keeps on getting shot down by every woman you approach? Perhaps you are the guy that comes on too strong? Or, you are the shy guy that doesn’t feel confident enough to approach a woman. If either of these situations fits, here are a few dating tips for men that actually work!
Most guys think woman prefer a man with money, muscles or hyper-masculinity. However, most women prefer a man who displays manners, morals, and mindfulness.
Here’s an example, let us say, you and your mates are out at a pub and you see a beautiful woman sitting across the bar with her friends. She has all the physical attributes that you require. She even appears to be having a good time. So, without hesitation, you walk across the bar to strike up a conversation.
Approach number 1: You walk over and offer her another drink. Oops! She already has a full glass of whatever she’s drinking.
Approach number 2: You play the drink mishap off, and proceed to ask her for her name. But, when you do this you piss off her girlfriends by interrupting their conversation with your question. And, you know they are pissed off because her loud mouth friend keeps referring to you as rude.
Approach number 3: You continue to babble randomly in spite of the rude comments her friends are making. You are determined not to let anything get in your way. You are in it to score, or at the very least, get her name and number so that you can connect with her at a later time. You give a weak apology for being “rude” and, then you ask her for her number. She reluctantly gives you her number. And, then you walk away feeling pretty good about yourself.
Fast forward a few days later: You make a decision to finally call her. However, during the conversation, you discover that she is relocating to another city in a few days because of a recent breakup that she had with her boyfriend who she was engaged to for six years!!! She was actually only out with her girlfriends that night so they could bid her farewell. It was their last night together.
How can you avoid scenarios like this? Here is the best way to approach a woman you really like:
First and foremost, in order for a woman to consider dating you, you should meet her on her level, mentally, physically and emotionally. In order for you to do that, you should first establish rapport. Most dating experts will advise men to exert confidence, build up their self-esteem and perhaps improve their looks and assertiveness. While these are great qualities to have, these qualities are not enough to win a woman’s heart or get her to go out with you on a date. The key is language: What you say, how you say it, and the message you are putting out there.
For example, have you ever met a woman that turned ice cold after a seemingly great conversation? Well, that is not because your looks changed or your confidence changed, it may have more to do with your language. Most guys don’t even know when a woman has tuned out and turned them off.
The next time you see a beautiful woman across the bar, at a coffee shop, or at a networking event try the following:
First, observe her behavior, and her body language for signs of interest. And, no, you do not have to act like a stalker. Just, simply observe her from a distance for a minute or less to assess her mood and her overall environment.
Next, watch to notice if she is smiling or laughing? Does she have a drink in her hand? How many friends is she with? Does she have a wedding ring on? Is she fidgety? Is she scanning the room? Does she look bored? Does she look approachable?
Once you have answered all of these questions slowly approach her. If you approach her within her line of sight, you will have a better chance of exchanging eye contact with her. Engaging in eye contact can tell you everything in seconds. Is she smiling? Not necessarily with her mouth, but also with her eyes. If she is, then that is an invitation to at least say, “hello.” But, be wary of this because she can also be very shy, and eye contact makes her nervous.
Once you have assessed the situation, instead of asking for her name you might introduce yourself first. If she is alone, you can ask for her name. If she is standing with other people, introduce yourself to the group, and then illicit everyone’s name from the entire group.
After a little small talk whereby you can ask things like; “where is she from?” or “what brought her to the establishment or event ?” If her drink is empty you might say something like “I was on the way to the bar to get myself another drink, I was wondering if I could get you another drink?” If she likes you, she will say yes. If she is not that interested she will decline. The key is to keep her interest and illicit a conversation with her that either gets her to express her thoughts, feelings or emotions.
If you ask her a question about the event and her response is, “I think it’s great!” She’s a thinking person. If her response is, “I feel like it could have been better,” she a feeling person. Now, if she responds with a feeling response and looks down at her chest or touches her drink or her arm as she responds, then she’s an emotional person. Once you know this you know her language. You can now engage and establish rapport with her based on the language she speaks. Even if you are a feeling person and she is a thinking person, you will know how to communicate with her. A gentleman who can notice details like this is likely to get a date with whatever woman they want.
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