As I am approaching my 67th birthday, I am doing lots of restropecting. (not sure if that’s a real word, but it felt right for this moment). I am incredibly blessed with dear family and friends, work that I find fulfilling, my cozy home and all the creature comforts, my hard earned belongings, the creative Muse hovering about scattering ideas and winsome, wondrous words, opportunities to write and teach and speak. I never take those for granted, even as I sometimes get caught up in the turmoil of the world. I compartmentalize aspects of my life, wanting to be informed, but not inundated, so I take news fasts when I need to. I listen to music, read, spend time in nature, and with kindred spirits. Today was such a day when I needed a reprieve.
Time with a heart-friend of 21 years and his delightful and wise partner, who I have known for fewer years was part of the sweetness I got to experience. In the hours we spent catching up, we covered many topics, including children and grandchildren, tv shows, movies, politics, aging parents, loss and grief, our shared history, who has faded from our lives either by circumstance or death and who is still present. We spoke about our own aging process and how we navigate through life in physically and emotionally different ways than we did when our paths first crossed two decades ago. I immensely value our connection. I wouldn’t be who I am today had we not encountered each other. Cue ‘For Good’ from Wicked.
My next stop was my niece’s 35th birthday painting party at one of those studios where people bring food and beverages and then attempt to re-create a professionally designed image. There were many to choose from and cosmically coincidentally my sister and I chose the same one. Mine slightly resembles the original, with my own whimsical flair, of a moon in a rainbow hued sky.
Although I don’t consider myself an artist, I allowed myself to be drawn into the experience, such that it felt like a Zen meditation. I found myself sighing and smiling a lot. I enjoyed being with my family, including a cousin with whom I grew up, who was there with her daughters and grandbaby. Not sure if the tiny human kept us entertained or we kept him entertained. The little gummy bear enjoyed nomming on a strawberry that I held for him.
I was telling the owner of the studio about a talented artist friend who creates multi-layered paintings with words underneath them, so when I was returning home, I called him and we chatted for a bit. We always say, “I love you,” at the end of each call.
On the long drive home from NJ to PA, I heard a song written by Steve Martin and sung by him, Jackson Browne, Allison Brown, and Jeff Hanna. It’s called Dear Time and reflects the literal passage of time. I teared up as I recalled the people who have made my life so delightful; the lovers and friends, some who are still in my life and some who have retreated into the mist, the colleagues, and all those who have temporarily graced my life for a ‘reason or a season’ and some are in it for the long haul. All are treasures. I never forget that everyone we now know and love, was once a stranger, living their own lives as we were living ours, not being on each other’s radar screen, until we were. Who knows how many more are out there who could become family of choice? I welcome them too.
Life being uncertain as it is, I never miss an opportunity to show and tell people how I feel about them. I want the last memory of our connection to be one of love.
“Dear time
On this fair occasion
I’d like to say you given me
More than what you’ve taken
Hey time
Working well together
I know it’s not forever
We’ll both be moving on
Look what I’ve collected
A little box of memories
Somewhat disconnected
Tied with twine
Each a small remembrance
One inside the other
On rewind, tonight I find them
Dimmed by wine
Hey time
Thank you for the lovers
The ones that went astray and
Thank you for the one that stayed
Hey time
Accepting of each other
Hold off on that buzzer
For just a little while
Look what I’ve collected
A little box of memories
Somewhat disconnected
Tied with twine
Each a bit of color
Winter, spring, fall and summer
Set to burn, they return, a warm blue flame
Dear time
You know I’m at your service
Thank you for the extra heartbeats
I’m not so sure I earned them
Dear time
I’ve heard you are efficient
I cancelled my physician
Whatever you decide
How much have I forgotten?
In the little box of memories
Edges start to soften
Lose their shine
Each a little wonder
A faded watercolor
All unsigned, on standby
In my mind
Look what I’ve collected
A little box of memories
Somewhat disconnected
Tied with twine
Could I trade them in for
A visit with my mom and dad
Or throw the ball with my old dog
One more time
Hey time
Look at what you made me
Sentimental
And slightly crazy
Dear time
On this fair occasion
I’d like to say you’ve given me
More than what you’ve taken
Dear time”
—
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