I can still smell the box of baseball uniforms — a cocktail of cardboard, cotton, and a little mustiness. These were the hand-me-down jerseys and pants the league used year after year, and the season was about to begin. I can remember rifling through them hoping my favorite number aligned with the correct size. Jackpot — a 6 in youth large. It was going to be a great season. This memory came back to me recently as my son opened the plastic packaging holding his custom baseball jersey with his last name on it and as I looked on my calendar to see where volleyball tryouts fit in the schedule for my oldest. Even accounting for a little nostalgia bias, the contrast was a bit unsettling.
Let me clarify — I love youth sports. I had wonderful experiences as a child thanks to my parents, coaches, and teammates. I also love that my kids are blessed with the ability and opportunity to participate. But the current trajectory is killing me, and I imagine many others out there. What I’ve found as a parent myself is that while the three groups above are essential to providing a place for kids to reap the good from teams and programs, there are other elements at play that I did not realize at a young age. I’m not sure my parents did fully either, which is why the current state of youth sports is unique, especially if you live in a more densely populated area like I do. This appears to be more of an issue in bigger towns and cities like the one I live in. I don’t have a pile of hard evidence to support this — just my observations and what I’ve read in various places (some I’ll mention below). Regardless, I have seen enough from my experience to leave me frustrated about the conditions of youth sports in 2024.
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I grew up in a small rural town in Iowa where the options for sports teams were the option (singular) for a sports team (also singular). I played on the same team as my classmates and those around the same age in school. There was one “little league” (not affiliated with the Little League) and that’s where everyone played. As we got older, our teams had the ability to play against similarly organized groups from nearby towns in loosely formal leagues and tournaments. We weren’t gone every weekend, nor did we practice or play often during the week. This setup transitioned smoothly into high school sports — again, the singular option at that age. Whether intentional or not, the gradual progression in investment and intensity made sense. It was self-evidently age-appropriate. There was a time for sports, but plenty left for family, church, and school.
I mention investment because one of the starkest contrasts to what my kids now experience is the time and financial commitment required by youth sports today. They certainly feel the time more than the dollars, but both affect everyone involved. Participation in whatever league it is always runs north of $100. Just to get a butt on the bench. If you’re lucky, this will include a cheap t-shirt with the organization’s logo. Some teams, however, are not content with simply coordinating by color and elect instead to order custom uniforms. Can’t be the losers in the “free” jersey and hat. Add $50 to the league fees for that. At that point, you are on the slippery slope of parent swag and the premium version of whatever app the team mom decided you are using (it won’t be the same one as the last team — sorry). Again, these are just the expenses of putting posterior to pine.
At this point, you’ve escaped with what amounts to a rec league in most places. This is the minimum level available with the least required investment and intensity. There’s one or two practices per week and one or two games. The talent level is a mixed bag, but it serves the purpose for most who simply want to play. But if you really care about your child’s development, future, and ultimate success in life, you will explore club or travel team options. As a young athlete, I knew of a couple of other kids whose parents drove them to the nearest big city to play on one of these teams. My parents made it clear this wasn’t an option for us, and after a brief period of disappointment, I returned my sights to the average teams I was used to.
The prevalence of the accelerated option today is no doubt due to being in a large city, but it is quickly consuming what some may consider the remedial options. It’s like if advanced algebra became so big that it pushed out general math so that the kids who didn’t want advanced algebra or who weren’t even ready for it had no choice but to enroll or quit. Oh, and it costs 5 times as much. My oldest is 11 and I would estimate that the majority of her friends who are still active in sports are involved with at least one club team or activity. The season is longer, as are the practices. They occur more often and with more intensity. It isn’t hard to recognize much of that as age-inappropriate. Most people are too afraid to say anything, though, because it’s become the thing to do if you want what’s best for your child. We have an ever-growing collective action problem, as Matt Yglesias points out here. It becomes harder and harder to change the more steam this train picks up.
We have reached a point where an industry exists around youth sports. The teams and leagues no longer serve the players and families in their communities — teams and leagues exist to serve the industry. And by association, the players and families exist to serve the industry as well. A player and family’s behavior turns into a show of loyalty to the industry. It’s big things like shouting an unquestioning yes to every far-away travel tournament, impromptu practice, and team hotel to little things like car window decals and having all the team swag. I’m all about team spirit, but what we have here is akin to Jennifer Aniston’s character in the movie Office Space having the right amount of flair. You may have a t-shirt with the team name, but why didn’t you also get the quarter zip, hoodie, sweatpants, ball cap, backpack, bumper sticker, and flag? Do you not love your child $500 worth? It’s using kids as glorified status symbols and I hate it.
In many ways, the downriver effects of all of this have led to a sort of gentrification in youth sports in some areas. There are some organizations that aim to address this problem in parts of the country where you’d assume this is most prevalent, like this one in Kansas City. Urban areas were the first and hardest hit. It’s near impossible to play when the closest field, court, or gym is many miles away and the cost exceeds your family’s means. The issue has gone beyond the inner city, though. The next wave hit the suburbs and is well-described by Jessica Grose in the New York Times. The “youth sports industrial complex”, as she calls it, is pricing kids and families out of even the basic opportunity of participation.
Let’s be honest, there’s no incentive for “pay-to-play” leagues to tone it down or dial it back. There’s money, and lots of it, to be made ($30–40 billion annually according to Project Play). Let the free market do what it may, but there’s a growing chasm left behind that an increasing number of kids and families cannot get across. It’s not just young kids that are losing out on opportunities either. There is a trickle-up effect on high schools and colleges. Club or travel teams have become a prerequisite to even making a high school team. Parents are in a panic to build their child’s resume starting already in second or third grade. There’s a fear of being left behind, which isn’t entirely unfounded. Showing up to high school tryouts with your elite travel team equipment demonstrates your dedication and perceived talent immediately. That’s a decent-sized hurdle for the kid with a plain gym bag and no credentials to overcome.
It’s leading to so many kids giving up on sports early, by age 11 on average, according to Project Play. The fun is gone when their teammates from wealthier families jump ship from the rec leagues to more prestigious travel teams. When the dust settles, left behind are the poor losers who either can’t afford it or the ones who apparently don’t care about future scholarships. This puts some rec leagues in danger of not having enough players to continue. Unless you have a supportive local government or an industrious group of parents, that is ultimately what’s going to happen.
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I think back to my experience as a young athlete. My small town was largely immune to the youth sports industry that was in its infancy. I’m so grateful for that. The teams I played on were composed of classmates and peers from my town, ranging wildly in talent and ability. This is the beautiful democracy that youth sports used to champion. When you put on the uniform (re-used yearly by the league, not custom-made every year with your name on the back) and stepped onto the field, you were equals united in the mission of playing ball that day. Very little was demanded of you other than to show up with a good attitude. No flights, hotels, swag, or window decals required.
Everyone was able to reap the benefits of being on a team. It’s good for the star athlete to share a bench with the kid who can’t shoot. It’s good for the kid who strikes out all the time to wear the same jersey as someone who hits home runs. What’s a better life lesson than that? Here’s a place where you learn to interact with people who are different than you. It’s what all those group projects in school were supposed to teach you. Here’s a common goal — now work together to achieve it. We are slowly losing this unique setting in favor of separate places for the haves and have-nots.
I picked up Tim Carney’s new book, “Family Unfriendly” recently, and I have to say that it’s been a while since I’ve been this possessed by a desire to fix things that I cannot single-handedly fix. If you are interested at all in parenting or improving the conditions in which people parent, I highly recommend the book (yes, that’s my affiliate link). Early on, he focuses directly on youth sports and sees many of the same things I mentioned above, but also much more. The state of youth sports is many things today, but unfriendly to the family is certainly one of them. I’ve spoken with parents of very young children, too young yet to have enrolled in their first soccer league. There’s already a fear there of the slippery slope to come. Everyone speaks with an air of “What do you do?” It’s as inevitable to kids as acne.
Cost and time are some leading casualties, but the effects trickle down. I have seen firsthand what the pressure of the club sports commitment can do to kids. As a teacher, it was usually easy to spot the kids who were on a club team of some kind. They often had a better-than-you attitude, especially relating to their peers. They were more likely to be exclusive and standoffish. I don’t have the data to back this up, but it also seemed more prevalent in girls than boys. I have also witnessed what the effects are behind the scenes. I have seen tears and heard things like “Coach yells at us,” “I’m not good enough,” and “We were told what we can and can’t eat.” People pay a lot to be on these teams and expect results, often at any cost.
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I understand and acknowledge that kids can gain positive things from club sports. They get access to good coaches, top-quality competition, and world-class equipment and facilities. Nothing at all inherently bad about that. In most cases, kids will improve their skills and abilities. They get to go on what amount to mini vacations to their tournament destinations. All good things on paper to be sure. I’m arguing here that it’s just not worth it. What exists on the con side of the ledger far outweighs these pros. The unique nature of this form of youth sports is what makes it dangerous. One family saying no isn’t going to change anything. Heck, a thousand families saying no might only change things locally. But it’s like anything, it takes someone to start.
I think many are looking for someone to say it’s ok to say no. I have met wonderful families, kids, and coaches who participate. This is not a judgment of their character. This is an appeal to anyone in the past, present, or future with a stake in youth sports. The sports I knew as a kid had an innocent soul. They served families for the good of the kids and the community without any ulterior motives or conditions. What we have today is a jaded perversion of that. The roles are reversed or at the very least made transactional beyond the entry fee. Parents shouldn’t feel like they owe their free time, a portion of their paycheck, and their firstborn when they enroll in a volleyball league. Whatever you’d like to call them — club sports, travel sports, pay-for-play leagues — they’re killing the spirit of families.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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