There are so many different layers to this work. As we learn how to peel away layers of defensiveness, layers of protection, layers of hiding, and layers of fear. As we peel away the layers, the closer to the shame we get.
The pain gets stored away inside of us, and we adapt. We don’t learn how to adjust our psyche does it for us, so we never experience that pain again, it just happens. The further we go down, the more difficult it becomes because we’re getting closer to the original pain, closer to the place where it all started the birthplace of the layers and the defensiveness. It was so painful, humiliating, degrading, and shameful that we couldn’t handle the feelings and emotions. Now we slowly have to go back to that place and uncover the unconscious defenses that were put in place to protect us. We are not those helpless children anymore; we don’t need those defenses that keep us from living the life we were born to live.
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Joe Ryan has been on a lifelong journey of overcoming trauma, shame, and the demons that plague him from his childhood. He has turned his mission outward, helping other people to conquer their traumatic pasts. Through his podcast ‘It’s Not You; It’s Your Trauma’ and one on one coaching.
Joe is paving the way for people to heal. He is baring his soul publicly to extend a hand to people who might feel stuck or frozen in their healing journeys. There are coaches out there who strive to do the same, but what sets Joe apart is that his voice embodies such compassion and warmth; when you hear it, it permits you to feel whatever you need to feel to progress on your emotional journey.
Father of two…
I take pictures, write, and obsess.
You can find me bouncing around New York City or by a lakeside fire. I was on a Pearl Jam kick, now starting my day with The Revivalists
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Previously Published on joeryan.com
Real, genuine, vulnerable, and honest talk. There are no quick fixes from trauma, abuse, addiction, PSTD, or anxiety. Knowing what happened to you is only part of the process, we have to relive the feelings, emotions, and scenes we avoid. When we stop blaming, making excuses and take responsibility for our own emotions, that’s the start of moving from victim to surviving, from surviving to survivor and finally to thriving and teaching.
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