Desert of Love

We often fear happiness more than unhappiness. In some cases, without even realizing it, we sabotage ourselves because after going through many dramas that leave traumas, we prefer peace of mind to happiness. We prefer to stay in our corner, without touching and without being touched by anyone.

Many people who seem tough and distant have gone through such painful experiences that they have chosen to close themselves off to avoid new disappointments, new deliveries to recipients who refuse and return the packages. It is very sad to deliver your heart wrapped in scented tissue paper and realize that your best, truest, and deepest self matters little or nothing to your loved one. It is very sad to realize when we learn in practice that unrequited love is the most desolate poetry ever written in this world.

Loving without being loved is like walking through an indeterminate desert. François Mauriac already established this metaphor a long time ago by titling his famous book about a failed love with the name The Desert of Love. The feeling is exactly this: being lost in the middle of nowhere.

When some wounds close superficially, we think everything is fine, we think we have overcome them. But we only overcome them when we are able to open ourselves up again to new experiences. We only really overcome them when the word love does not make us tremble with fear, wishing only to hide from everything and everyone in a dark corner. We only overcome them when we do not imagine hating everything we love most. When we do not run away from everything we most desire to take in our arms. When we do not deny ourselves.

Of course, some people live very well alone. Not everyone needs erotic love to feel good. I am not referring to this type of situation. I am referring to those who really need it, to those who really want to live a romantic partnership. For someone who wants to live a romantic relationship, for someone who considers a romantic relationship essential, it is necessary to fight against certain wounds that mark the soul’s skin.

If for some living in peace is enough, for others it is necessary to continue insisting on the search for love. It is necessary to continue seeking strength to start all over again, with the same faith, with the same sweetness of the first time. If we stop to think about it, all love is first in some way.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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