Did You Move On Too Soon?

After settling into a relationship, you may feel a nagging pang of guilt.

It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

Moving on is never easy, especially if you thought the person was the one. Or if you had a child and have no intention of being a single parent.

There are so many reasons to wonder if you moved on too soon. Guilt isn’t the best answer for this self-reflection.

…

The Ghost.

People die. You suffered enough coping with their loss.

It is not fair for you to stay forever alone to honor their memory. If the person cared about you, they would have wanted you to be happy.

If not, you were not in love. But in a cage.

The speed with which you move on from someone does not mean you never loved the person. What does it mean?

It suggests they were a placeholder.

You cared too much about your relationship status or other people’s feelings. Thus, you could not push yourself to break up with them.

Now, they are no longer here. You feel guilty about your happiness in a new relationship. You deserve joy, love, and support.

Do you feel loved? Can you be yourself around the new person? Then no, you did not move on too soon.

…

The Replacement.

Okay, you might have a little to feel guilty about — you cheated.

It is finally settling in. You made the wrong choice.

The case of yes.

Have you moved on too soon? Most times, yes!

You lost a “good” partner. You did not work on your differences with your lover. Instead, you had an affair. Your partner knows their worth and left you. The consequences of your actions are becoming hard to ignore.

Cheating is a sign an element in your relationship needs revision. Your union needs therapy, communication, or a change of pace.

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

If you will do self-work after the break to get a second chance, you moved on too soon.

The answer is “no” in this scenario.

But let us be honest. Unless you will change your actions, the answer is nope. No, you did not move on too soon.

A person can’t change you unless you want to improve.
New behaviors won’t stick unless you have a reason to adapt.

Plenty of men and women improve themselves for their new partners. Their ex would not experience that side of them. If you won’t be a better version of yourself with your current, you did not move on too soon.

…

Did I move on too soon/fast?

The source of this self-reflection is uncertainty.

It is a question for when you are unsure.

You don’t know where you stand with your new partner.
It feels like a breakup is underway.
You want to be single to find yourself, but don’t want to hurt someone else.
The relationship is getting serious. But you are not ready.

This question is an opportunity to re-evaluate what you want from a union and partner. It is a chance for communication.

Clarify your feelings to answer this question.

…

Thank you for reading this post.

…

Hey, I am Annie, a relationship and side hustle writer. For just $5/month or $50/year, you can unlock articles to help you achieve your income and love goals. This membership fee will support your dreams. Unlock the content with this link.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***