Love does not come easy and once you get it, it’s even harder to keep it. Successful relationships require a certain mindset and more often than not, we fail to maintain them because we lack the required skills and not because we do not have the potential for making a good partner.
Like any other skill, love too can be learned.
Before getting into a relationship with someone, you need to have the confidence to live your life without them. Relationships thrive best when you do not need someone else to complete you. This reduces dependence and therefore, certain toxic behaviors and overthinking patterns. You have to feel secure on your own.
1.1 Become Financially Independent
1.2 Build good relationships with friends and family; Cut out the toxic ones. Choose only healthy relationships. It is better to stay alone than to stay in an unhealthy relationship. (If someone makes you feel horrible for wearing pink and eating strawberries; throw the person out of your life and not lovely pink and delicious strawberries!)
1.3 Cutting out toxic people and making yourself a priority will give you the most needed courage and confidence to be on your own. And that’s the mindset you need before getting into a relationship, otherwise, the chances of you settling for less are higher. It is scary to be on your own; which is why after cutting the toxic ones, go out and find new friends.
1.4 Start taking care of your health. Eat healthily and work out. You will feel positive and more confident with yourself. This will also reduce illnesses. And your dependence on others to take care of you will come down.
Forever is a Myth. If you enter into a relationship believing that this is your happily ever after, you are setting unrealistic expectations. Relationships take time to build a sustainable foundation and a lot can happen that you cannot anticipate today. You and your partner might change, develop new goals and interests in life which you never expected at the beginning, and along with these developments, your relationships and how comfortable you feel in them will change.
So, always be ready to put the time and effort into the relationship along with the expectation that you can only do your best by learning to choose the right person and further learning about the behaviors that sustain the good and positive in a relationship.
Relationships are constant effort and you will have to balance them throughout your life. Know that and expect the hard work, focus, effort, and consistency that relationships entail, and rid yourself of the forever myth.
Clarity of Purpose
Deciding how much to invest in a relationship depends on your purpose for the relationship. Before entering into one, have clarity about why you want to have this relationship. Is it just casual short-term fun? Are you just exploring what dating or meeting new people is like? Are you looking for something serious and long-term?
If you are looking for something serious, you would care about understanding the beliefs, mindset, and worldviews of the other person. However, if it is just casual short-term fun, it would make more sense to choose someone you share mutual interests with.
And it is important, to be honest, and straightforward about your purpose from the beginning. You do not want to have your heart broken just because you did not confirm with your Mr. Right whether he wants to settle down or not.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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