You know that feeling.
When you are smiling at your phone like a fool. That silly, happy glow.
He likes me!
She wants me!
The “I can’t wait to hear from them” texts. It’s the art of communication. It is what gets you a coffee date. No hesitation on the “When can we meet?” question.
Here are the secret HOOKs in texting:
1. Wit and Humor
This breaks the ice. A clever turn of phrase or a well-timed joke can ignite a spark. It can display playfulness, which is a commodity in short supply for most of us adults carrying on with the endless “grown-up” things we have to do day after day.
“You’re clever!”
“OMG, you made me laugh out loud!”
“I smiled!”
Those are all so delightful to hear.
Work on self-deprecating humor, as well. Poke fun at yourself. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Your texts might be a breath of fresh air if you are vulnerable.
2. Thoughtful Communication
Remembering details from previous conversations is key.
DON’T:
“What’s your schedule again?”
“Where did you say you live?”
“Who is that?” when they have clearly brought up that person in dialogue before.
DO:
Ask insightful questions such as, “I remember that you said you traveled in the spring. Tell me about that trip.”
Remember key dates that are important to your potential lover. They had an important meeting on Wednesday.
“How did that meeting go?” text on Wednesday afternoon.
“You remembered!” is the key thing here.
HUGE brownie points.
3. Build Anticipation
Make the other person want to see you in person. “Wouldn’t it be nice for us to talk about this over some coffee?” you might suggest.
Make the flow of conversation organic.
If you can’t devote your time to texting, write, “I’m busy right now, but I will be all yours in three hours. How’s that?” And follow through. Three hours later, message, “I’m all yours to do as you wish!”
4. Emotional Intelligence
It’s easier to build intimacy than to scale it back from an uncomfortable place. Don’t push.
Too much too soon?
Know when to dig in or pull back. It’s all about nuance. You need to gauge their reactions. It’s a dance.
Be in tune with the other person’s wants and needs. Empathize with their feelings. Be genuine. People can tell if you are faking it.
And that’s the thing. Good texting is dying art. Cultivate your words in order to attract a lover. Get people talking about themselves. They love that! And work on these 4 tips above.
—
Previously Published on Medium
iStock image
