Does Anyone Ditch Adultery for Good?

Who has gotten off this rollercoaster of a ride?

*ME! I raise my hand.

How did it feel to lose the external validation suddenly?

*Sucks. It’s a short answer, but it is true.

How did you fill the gaps left behind by your lover who once held a huge presence in your life?

*You have to start over with yourself.
Easy to write, hard to do.

It’s a void.

Any of us who have stopped cheating realized that we had some serious patching up to do.

Self care
Getting back into hobbies
Friendships
Gym
Chores
Time

Eventually, your affair will become a fuzzy memory. It takes plenty of time. Things will feel “gray” for a while after you stop. But the heartache and stress will be gone. And remember that it’s worth it.

You are investing in your long-term well-being.

You can wake up and not constantly look over your shoulders. You can rebuild something new without blinders on. You are no longer numb and sad.

You make a conscious effort not to go back to cheating.

You remind yourself you don’t need this lifestyle anymore.

Focus on one day at a time. “Today, I am good. I don’t need outside attention.” Or “Today, I won’t contact them.” And then commit again the next day, the day after, and the day after that. It’s like how addicts stop drinking or drugging. It’s a daily intent. Don’t worry about how you’ll manage in the future. It’s about the present.

Do therapy if needed to fix your issues if that is at your disposal.

I stopped once I went “legit” with my Affair Partner. I’ve had people ask, “Don’t you think you’ll be tempted to cheat again?”

WHY YES.

There will always be temptation.
And I know that road too well.

Not cheating is a choice. I decided that my relationship is too good to fuck up. I won’t make those poor decisions—no more.

Not because I’m better than you — I’m not. I was a career adulteress for a LONG time. I never had a relationship until now where I felt valued, seen, and free to be me. I won’t risk losing this by breaking his trust in me. The same goes for him, I hope.

I can’t stop temptation.
I can’t control the lust for someone new.

But I can stop making decisions based on external validation.
I can decide I’m happy with myself and my life.
You can, too.

You can ditch adultery for good.
Believe me. If I can do it, anyone can.