Does Kindness Have a Place in our Response to the Attack on the Capitol?

In light of the January 6, 2021 attack on the nation’s Capitol, what role, if any, does kindness play?

I had a recent conversation where I took the position extolling the need for kindness, compassion, and sensitivity in regards to the extremists who want to do harm to the democratic process that is the foundation of our country. The other person disagreed. “This is not the time to turn the other cheek,” they said. “These people are dangerous and should be locked up.” “We cannot communicate with them. They are so wrapped up in their beliefs that they are unreachable.” These remarks are true.

People who break the law need to be held responsible for their actions. Evildoers need to be restrained and punished when they commit a crime. It’s true that people who have swallowed lies are afraid of losing out to “the other” and are immersed in “righteous” anger are likely not open to receive a differing viewpoint.

It is important that we look at our own motivation. Are we fierce with blame and righteous indignation? Do we want to make them pay? Will we gloat when they suffer and are thrown into jail? If we ourselves are coming from a place of anger, hate and retaliation, have we not become like them? And if we are like them, perhaps our efforts to bring about a more peaceful union will ultimately result in creating more distrust, more escalation, more war. There will be a limited possibility of reconciliation if we treat our fellow Americans as enemies.

Reconcile we must. No matter how much we might detest what Trump’s extreme followers have done and no matter how much we disagree with what they believe, we cannot just throw these people away. We are one country—one people—and we must find a way to live with each other. We must listen to these “others” and feel the sources of their despair. We must see their humanity.

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We have got to find skillful, honest, and respectful ways to communicate.

There will be no progress without communication. If there is to be any real communication, it likely won’t come from them; it must come from us, from our kindness, our understanding, and from the very best of who we are. Meeting evil with compassion may not always be the easy way or the accepted way, but it is the way that will yield the most positive outcome.

To be clear, our compassion doesn’t relieve the culpability of those in power whose actions promoted this riot, nor does it foreclose locking up those who broke the law. This will serve as a warning to people who think that manipulation and mayhem are good methods for social change. There will always be those who are so out of touch with reality that they are unapproachable by any other means except force.

Yet, there are others among Trump’s followers who have gagged from drinking the bitter potion of intolerance, hate, and lies cooked up by self-serving politicians and manipulative news commentators. These followers are the ones who might be responsive when approached with the hand of honesty and openness, rather than a closed fist.

We are shown a way forward when we read the powerful healing words carved in marble on the wall of the Lincoln Memorial. These are taken from President Lincoln’s second inaugural address, delivered near the end of a horrific war that cost 600,000 American lives.

“With malice towards none; with charity for all” . . . Lincoln goes on to say that we must “bind up the nation’s wounds” and “care for those who who have borne the battle”, whether from the Union or Confederate side. Lincoln urged mutual forgiveness and appealed for all Americans to “do all that may achieve and cherish a just and a lasting peace.”

Lincoln knew that what the country needed at that time was healing. The soul of America is fractured now and in dire need of healing. I believe healing can best be accomplished when our actions are sourced in kindness.