Does True Love Truly Exist?

I have always been an explorer of love. Love in all types and forms. Love as a feeling, and as an expression.

Of course love can mean many different things.

I was introspectively reviewing my life recently. I thought about friends and lovers from the past, and how I related to the idea of love back then, as opposed to now, especially romantic love.

I began discussing the concept of love with my students, old loves who I am still close to, and my coaching clients.

In our discussions these were the questions that were most commonly asked.

· What are the types of love?

· What is the true meaning of love?

· What is true love?

· …and my favorite “Does true love exist?”

Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. An example of this range of meanings is that the love of a mother differs from the love of a spouse, which differs from the love for food. Most commonly, love refers to a feeling of a strong attraction and emotional attachment.

What humans consider to be love can be both positive and negative. At its highest level love represents…

human kindness,
compassion,
affection,
unselfish loyalty,
generosity,
… And benevolent concern for the good of another and, or others.

On the downside misunderstood feelings and emotions that we think of as “love” may represent…

human moral limitations,
vanity,
selfishness,
…And exesssive egotism.

These darker emotional impulses can lead people into forms of mania, obsessiveness, codependency, and self destructive behavior.

Love may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self, or animals. In its various forms, love acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts. Love has been postulated to be a function that keeps human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.

Ancient Greek philosophers identified six forms of love…

essential love
familial love,
friendly love or platonic love,
romantic love, self-love,
guest love,
divine love

Many modern authors have distinguished further varieties of love:

unrequited love,
empty love,
companionate love,
consummate love,
infatuated love,
self-love,
courtly love.

Numerous cultures have also distinguished love through culturally unique words, definitions, or expressions of love in regards to a specified “moments” currently lacking in the English language.

Scientific research, especially in evolutionary biology, has expanded significantly over the past two decades.
The color wheel theory of love defines three primary, three secondary and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in terms of the traditional color wheel.
The triangular theory of love suggests “intimacy, passion and commitment” are core components of love. Love has additional religious or spiritual meaning.

This diversity of uses and meanings combined with the complexity of the feelings involved makes love unusually difficult to consistantly define, compared to other emotional states.

When I hear the world love, I often think of that song by Foreigner “I Want To Know What Love Is”. I sing it in my head all the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3Pr1_v7hsw

ThisMedium story is an introduction to ideas I have gathered over six decades concering love. Hello, Love has provided me with the perfect space to share them

Love? Love? Love? Love? Love? Love?Love? Love? Love?Love?

One can speak of a love of art, a dog, a house, or some type of food. Then there is interpersonal love, and the distinctions between the love that might exist between family members, friends, and sexually engaged lovers and even strangers who share a sexual experience and choose to call the act “making love.”

Many scientists believe that much of what we consider love is merely biological — a genetic/chemical influence at the core of our thoughts and feelings. In their perspective love is simply “sexual attraction and attachment.” Of course, it all gets much deeper than that.

It may be foolish and a waste of time to attempt to define love. “Love” is what it is. One could say that at the deepest level — to experience intimacy, passion commitment, selfless sacrifice and detachment is to know love. To know love in this way is to be in the Wisdom Mind. Love is cultural, biological, social, psychological, and it is also spiritual. It cannot be named but is at the core of all that matters. It enables to offer selfless sacrifice.

Love oh love so sweetly bestows,

A nameless truth in my heart it flows,

And along its path the rhythm shows, love

Come sweet seekers gently gather

Learn to love and trust each other,

It will bind your hearts together in, love

I have come to the personal conclusion that there are fourteen kinds of love. These categories are drawn from a number of sources particularly the ancient Greeks, Buddhism, Mystic Taoism, Western Psychology, and Evolutionary Biology

Each of these categories, and distinctions of love occur based on varying levels of each. Often they merge. One might say that the most awakened and aware individual is the person who can experiece all of them simultaneously.

My list concerning love is:

1. Love of beauty and the sensual

2. Love of nature (Biophilia)

3. Family love

4. Playful love

5. Love of the self

6. Love of community

7. Sexual passion

8. Obsessive love (Addiction)

9. Deep friendship

10. Love for everyone

11. Love of knowledge

12. Longstanding love

13. Love of Wisdom

14. Awakened Love (Divine Love -Enlightenment)

The Takeaway

Concerning person to person love each kind of love is unique enough that you might find yourself maintaining relationships in several categories, but sometimes, a single relationship will evolve over time, transitioning among the types along the way.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***

From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

***

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.