I threw my hubby under the bus, “I think he’s stepping out…and I need STD tests,” I said to my Obygyn on my annual checkup.
He looked at me sadly, “Oh boy, no problem,” he said.
I felt a tiny twinge of guilt. Not enough, though.
I’m really a sociopath.
“Are you guys OK? Anything you want to talk about?” He asked.
My Obygyn has known me for over 22 years. He’s been to my kid’s baptism. He’s seen me out of the office at the local country club. No way in HELL was I going to admit I was cheating on my saint-of-a-sexless husband.
“We are fine…” I said.
We weren’t fine.
I was second-guessing everything.
Two decades of marriage, I wanted to toss into the garbage can.
No sex will do that to you.
Looking For SEX
Having affairs felt like I was reborn. The problem was pesky disease — and I wasn’t cautious. I was throwing myself headfirst on guy’s dicks.
“I love your dick,” I said to my last lover.
It wasn’t huge or long but perfect nonetheless. Hard and willing.
Oh my.
I couldn’t get enough. Let’s just say we both loved orally pleasing each other.
STD Checks
Before embarking on this new affair, I required STD tests in writing.
“I’ll give you mine,” I volunteered.
“Ok, I guess I can do that,” my potential lover responded. He wasn’t stupid. He wanted to get laid.
“I’m clean,” I added.
All that indiscriminate fucking didn’t circumvent making sure I was protected and disease-free.
“I’m sure you are,” he said, as he squeezed my hand.
I was swooning already from his firm grip. Can I hold out until he gets tested?
I had been affairing for far fewer years than my lover. “How long have you been doing this?” I asked at our first meet.
“About 8 years,” he said.
So…I’ll add an extra few years to that, I thought. No way was he telling the truth.
I had been cheating for 2 years by that point. Two lovers in two years. It seemed monumental to me. Two was too much.
“Two lovers?” he said, as he tilted his head. It was quaint for him.
“How many for you?” I asked.
I was sure he’d lie.
“Probably about a dozen or so…”
I tried to keep my face neutral.
I wanted him so badly, but STD check first.
“Have you been checked out recently?” I asked.
“No, my last lover moved away last year, so no one since then,” he said.
“Where can you go?” I asked.
“I’m not sure yet. I can’t use my general practitioner; my wife is a nurse. Too risky.”
“There are online options. Send in urine and swabs,” I answered.
The valuable information I learned from r/adultery sub-Reddit.
“OK. I can do that,” he said.
“You’d want to know if you are clean.”
“I want to fuck you, and I’ll do anything you want,” he touched my arms across the small square table.
I blushed and glanced at my coffee.
Sexual Longing
This was our third meet, and I felt the sexual longing increasing with each encounter. We had kissed and groped in my car. I couldn’t wait to get my hands and mouth on him.
“Let’s go somewhere more private,” he said.
The wet spot in my undies was growing. I wanted him right now. Would I be able to say no without an STD test?
“Uh, ok,” my brain was on auto-pilot.
I drove with his hands on my thigh. Stroking. Touching.
“I can’t concentrate!”
“Good, I love distracting you.”
“I’m going to have an accident, and how can I explain that?”
“No, you won’t. You’ll be fine.”
I drove to a park and turned off the engine.
“Get back here,” he commanded.
I climbed in my back seat, and he kissed me senseless. Pushing my bra up and pulling my yoga pants down.
How could I wait for STD results?
This man was driving me delirious with desire.
“How long for the tests to come back?” I panted.
“By next week, I’ll know. And I can’t wait to have you naked in a hotel room,” my potential lover said.
I was counting the days. The week was too long.
My Obygyn doesn’t need to know the truth. I was clean on tests but not in my thoughts. I was dirty, dirty indeed.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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