My daughter’s resilience, her stubborn resolve to not back down from any challenge, has given me many proud moments over the past few years. Annoyed that she was unable to whistle for the new dog the way that the rest of the family could, she practiced non stop for two weeks until the skill was mastered. Every day that we have off together she asks to go back to StoryLand in New Hampshire because she’s bothered by the fact that she didn’t want to take a second ride on the Roar-O-Saurus roller coaster. When picking out her costume at The Monster Store this year we needed to step on the activation peddles for every animatronic display figure and on Halloween there was no house scary enough for her to ask for escort up to the door.
This same fearlessness is also contributing to a rapid graying of what’s left of my hair. It’s great that she is such a strong swimmer already, but does she always have to dive into the deep end? Tree climbing is a noble hobby, but how about making sure that you are going to be able to get back down? Her need to continually prove her bravery keeps me awake at night.
Being afraid is partly a learned behavior, the cerebral cortex telling a person to stay away from a hot stove that’s previously been touched. It’s also physiological, a triangle of neurons on the amygdala firing in response to perceived threats to our well being. Bravery is the ability to ignore this reaction, but so is foolishness and recklessness. I need to be sure that she learns the difference. I’m confident in her intelligence, but wary of her pride.
I don’t have much of an option. History is written by the bold and her fierce spirit and competitiveness will continue to be encouraged. I’ll have to trust in her wisdom to recognize the difference between a challenge to be accepted and a double dog dare to be ignored.
As I sit outside and scribble these words she’s playing on her slide, going down headfirst and backward as usual, yelling for me to “watch this.” My neurons are firing again.
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This post was previously published on ThirstyDaddy and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Jeremy Barnes