Embracing The Change

When change comes, it can’t be stopped. Like a train that’s unwavering, it moves straight ahead at full speed.

Most of my life changing moments come in the months of August and September, and it’s this inevitable force that sneaks up on me with the same amount of fear as euphoria. Most everyone I know has been financially impacted by COVID-19, and for whatever reason, the stimulus check has yet to make it to my bank account. So if you can imagine panic starts to set in as I realize that I make a major move across Nashville, TN, in less than three weeks.

Like all amazing moments, shit hits the fan before it blows up into this cataclysmic state of ecstasy.

I started an interview series called uncomfortable Conversations and the dates are not aligning as I need them to be and I’m struggling to find extra interviewees for the series to take off, I’m scrambling to find extra work to make ends meet, and the last episode of my podcast was two weeks ago and it’s supposed to be a weekly show. Triple yikes. I’ve made a total of .60 cents off of Medium, and for whatever reason — I can’t crack this damn algorithm.

So what do you do when life starts to spiral? Check into a psych-ward, pray for the best, and promise God that if He just did this one major thing this one time you’d never do that thing you’re so tempted to do again?

Listen, from the bottom of my heart — breathe.

I started reading You are a Badass by Jen Sincero who has been the biggest source of self-love and motivation for my life recently. Next on my list is Brene Brown, the master of shedding shame and self-advocacy. Jen points out so many marvelous tactics throughout her book that actually work. And just when I started to doubt that this might not work, the book called me out as I was eating tuna salad out of a bowl — literally. So I’ve taken it as a sign, and I hope you do as well.

The biggest one I’ve held onto?

Believe that it will happen, and it will, in fact, happen.

So here’s to embracing the change. If I actually believe and put into practice that the Universe is for me, loves me, and won’t be stopped at the .41 cents in my bank account — I will have the finances I need to make this move. In fact, I believe that in no time I will have that official title as a writer, and NY Times Best Selling Author that will plunge me forward financially.

Does this sound absolutely insane? Of course it does, but when you’re caught up in a life of whimsy — what’s the harm of believing for the impossible, really? I mean, I could sit here and sulk about how much I hate my 9–5, that I’ll never get paid enough, or wave my fist at the sky saying “curse you, all ye damn banks and he who runs the country for not depositing my money!”

Or — stay with me here, I could just breathe and do what I can and trust that God of the Universe actually has given me all the supplies I need to make what needs to happen, happen. If I knew how to make $1200 in one week, I wouldn’t have to activate faith. But as most believers know, faith is the a substance of hope, and when we know and trust that, miracles began to drip all around us if we are willing to step into uncomfortable times.

Believe and receive, my friend. Learn to embrace this change. I believe you are going to grow and flourish as you continue to practice this.

Now, put on some Pink Martini, drink your coffee, believe, and breathe. All is yet to come.

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Previously published on medium

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