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George Floyd’s murder has done something that heretofore had not been done; his death has mobilized a massive global response to eradicate racism and police brutality.
The protests and demonstrations, that started within hours of his death, have continued to grow bigger and have even been exported to other countries. It is clear that a movement has begun.
People live in their world of OR and only see what they want to see through their unique lenses and paradigms. They are not willing to see the world of AND with its potential for solving the problems and challenges.
All too often since all of this started, I have heard too many people say ‘I don’t understand” in response to what has been happening.
As I continued to be bombarded, on social media with people expressing their confusion and inability to understand the situation, I became increasingly agitated.
I see racism relying on three main components; discrimination, biases, and bigotry.
Discrimination is all about how someone is treated by someone else. Are people who don’t understand that oblivious to how people treat each other, including themselves?
Biases are prejudices that every one of us carries with us every day in every encounter we have with others. Do people really lack the self-awareness to the point of not being in touch with their own opinions?
Bigotry is experienced as intolerance of others’ opinions, mostly when they differ from our own. Are the people that are so self-absorbed, unable to see the negative impact of their intolerance on others?
These three components are inherent in other forms of expressed hate such as homophobia, misogyny, or ageism.
It is essential for people to find and own their behavioral patterns, in terms of each of the three components.
None of us is exempt from the impact or consequences of our behaviors on others, seeking to learn how we might change our behaviors to be more honoring and respectful of other people is a step in the proverbial right direction.
As humans, we have the ability to reflect on our own behaviors and thoughts. Paying attention to our own biases and opinions, while learning how they impact other people, is a fundamental part of living in a civilized society.
People say no to the things that frighten them or that they don’t understand. In either case, it is pretty straightforward how we can learn about the things that scare us or confuse us, asking for help from others who are in the best position to support our journey is a great jump-off point.
I get that I show up as a white man and as a result of that fact, I am given the opportunity to have certain experiences, that I did not ask for nor did I earn.
On the surface it looks like I am free from discrimination, biases, and bigotry; however, when I come out as a gay man, I expose myself to experience any or all of the three hate components.
I strongly believe that other white people, gay or straight, have the capacity to understand what is going on for our black friends, family members, colleagues, and strangers.
Stop using the statement “‘I don’t understand…” and start saying instead, “I want to understand…” or “I am willing to understand…” or asking the questions, “How can I show up differently…?” or “How can I best support you…?”.
It all starts with opening your mind and heart to the understanding and compassion that come with empathizing with another person.
Hate cannot coexist with love, and when we choose love over hate, we will start to see the good that is available to each and every one of us, no matter what.
“ I have decided to stick with love.
Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
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