I’ve heard that phrase more times then you can count. That is why I decided to take a walk through some Long Distance Teenage Relationships during quarantine to help the world understand what is going on in these teenage minds.
- Everyone in this article will remain anonymous except for their gender, ethnicity and age.
How long have you been dating?
“It’s been 7 months.” — Indian Male, 17
“Over 2 years.” — Filipina Female, 18
“We’ve been dating for over a year now.” — Korean Male, 17
“Two and a half years.” — Indian Female, 19
“6 months.” — Indian Male, 16
“2.5 years.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“Well officially for a month. But we’ve been close and talking for almost the whole year now.” — Mexican Male, 17
“6 months but I’m not sure what’s happened these past two months so maybe 8 months. I don’t really know.” — Chinese Female, 15
Do your parents know, why or why not?
“They don’t because I don’t tell them that much about my life because I don’t know how it might complicate things” — Indian Male, 17
“My parents don’t know because I’m not out to them yet.” — Filipina Female, 18
“Because we live in a residential school, we wanted to let our parents know what’s happening in our lives because they don’t really know how we are doing when we are living on campus.” — Korean Male, 17
“They don’t know because they do not want me dating right now.” — Indian Female, 19
“No, because I’m too lazy to explain everything to them, and I think they would get mad at me.” — Indian Male, 16
“No, I am not out to my parents.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“Yeah, my parents know. They trust me and no I’m not gonna do anything crazy so they’re chill with it.” — Mexican Male, 17
“No, they don’t. My relationship with my parents is normally quite complicated so I don’t feel comfortable opening up about it to them. I honestly don’t know when I will though. I think my parents would really like him but I know there will be waves of questions I’m not entirely prepared to answer. So for now in their eyes, I’m a single little girl.” — Chinese Female, 15
When was the last time you saw your significant other?
“Last month.” — Indian Male, 17
“March.” — Filipina Female, 18
“The last time I saw my significant other was in mid-March.” — Korean Male, 17
“Yesterday.” — Indian Female, 19
“June 26, 2020.” — Indian Male, 16
“The end of March.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“A couple of days ago, but only for like 10 minutes. But the last time I really saw them was about a month ago.” — Mexican Male, 17
“About a month ago we saw each other along with our group of friends. It was a bit weird since we hadn’t seen each other for so long but nothing that made me uncomfortable. Just seeing his face for a bit was amazing tho.” — Chinese Female, 15
Why get into a relationship this early?
“Idk how to answer this one.” — Indian Male, 17
“When we started dating I didn’t know how many months it would last. A year ago, I didn’t know that we would be doing long distance into college. So in general, I didn’t know that our relationship was going to get serious. It just naturally progressed into this, and I’ve been going with the flow. My SO and I have a really good connection and like to spend time with each other so that’s why we’re still dating.” — Filipina Female, 18
“I don’t think it’s early. If I really like someone, then I don’t see anything wrong with dating someone. However, I know that others might think differently, but I don’t think that should hold me back.” — Korean Male, 17
“It felt right.” — Indian Female, 19
“I asked her out in December, and I did not expect for the lockdown to happen.” — Indian Male, 16
“ I haven’t really thought of it as “getting into a relationship early.” I really liked her and it seemed natural that the next step would be to initiate an official relationship.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“Why do anything this early. Why get into politics so young, why get so worried about college or getting into a good school. I think the argument could be made for everything young kids do in their life.” — Mexican Male, 17
“Throughout grade school and middle school, I’ve always seen random couples popping up everywhere. In my eyes, it seemed useless to be in a relationship so young but as I entered high school I realized the timing is unique to each individual. A couple from my seventh-grade class are still dating each other and it’s been almost 3 years. I’ve never actively seemed a relationship so when I started dating him I never really thought about the “timing”. Since it’s my first relationship I’m just going with the flow but the timing is something I wouldn’t ever worry about. I wouldn’t say it’s “early” but it hasn’t been a problem for me. It’s cliche but people walk into our lives and there’s always a reason even if they don’t stay forever. I’m perfectly okay with being in a relationship at this time and it’ll never be something that keeps me away from someone.” — Chinese Female, 15
What do you do for fun?
“Watch stuff on Netflix or play a weird game.” — Indian Male, 17
“Play Fortnite, video chat, and sometimes watch Youtube together.” — Filipina Female, 18
“When we are together, we like to go on walks and just chill with each other. During quarantine, we’ve called almost every day, and we occasionally played pubg and watched movies and TV shows.” — Korean Male, 17
“Hang out, watch Netflix.” — Indian Female, 19
“When we were back on campus, we’d usually just watch movies or go on walks.” — Indian Male, 16
“We do a lot of different things over facetime. We’ll watch movies or tv shows, sometimes we’ll do puzzles together (jigsawpuzzles.io), or play video games. Instagram’s video calling thing has a cool feature where you can “share media.” Basically you can choose from videos and pictures on instagram that when you tap on it it will play it for the other person on the video call (as well as on your own screen).” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“Honestly just doing things together, there is no set activity. My S/O always just makes me laugh and makes a good time out of nothing. Just being with them is fun. So anything as long as they are by my side is fun.” — Mexican Male, 17
“When we were together our schedules were both pretty busy so the smallest things became fun to me lol. While studying we would share AirPods and I’d force him to listen to my playlists. For maximum efficiency, I’d have him explain chemistry to me because we actually got stuff done and it was funny watching him struggle to teach me. Obviously walking around or watching horror movies because we both loved horror. But basically everything was made ten times more fun with him. He managed to make doing problem sets more interesting so I have to thank him for that.” — Chinese Female, 15
How much do you communicate throughout the day, and using what platforms?
“Frequently with messenger, Snapchat, Instagram messenger, and Zoom” — Indian Male, 17
“We text each other frequently throughout the day over Facebook Messenger for probably a total of 1.5–2 hours. We video chat on Messenger ~2 times/week for a few hours each time.” — Filipina Female, 18
“We text each other occasionally throughout the day, and we usually facetime at night. We have used digital platforms, including Messenger, Instagram, or Snapchat.” — Korean Male, 17
“Using Snapchat, not too much, not too less.” — Indian Female, 19
“We mainly use snapchat, and we probably reply to each other every 10 minutes. We sometimes send each other stuff over instagram.” — Indian Male, 16
“Mostly through facebook messenger, sometimes snapchat, sometimes instagram, and we facetime every other day or so.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“Messenger to talk and Snapchat to send goofy selfies. And at night we always ft and talk to each other.” — Mexican Male, 17
“We use just snap throughout the day. It’s different though since snaps can sometimes have conversations or blank snaps. I use social media significantly less now but he’s one of the few people I keep in contact with regularly now lol.” — Chinese Female, 15
How do you show your partner you love them?
“Don’t want to answer.” — Indian Male, 17
“I show my affection with words. I also ask her about hobbies and side projects so I can understand them better.” — Filipina Female, 18
“We constantly communicate with each other and let each other know what’s happening in our lives.” — Korean Male, 17
“Straight up tell them.” — Indian Female, 19
“idk.” — Indian Male, 16
“ I try to text her often and explicitly tell her that I appreciate her or that she looks nice or stuff like that since I can’t show my affection physically.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“It’s important to show them that you are there for them, always. So just always supporting them the best you can. Like give them advice on subjects you are more well versed in. Or just little surprises here and there they wouldn’t expect. Like after a long day of them working give them money to get food so they can enjoy themselves and relax. Things like that.” — Mexican Male, 17
“Throughout my past two years in high school I’ve noticed each individual has a love language unique to themselves. My relationship had never revolved around good morning snaps, kisses or hugs. I preferred to have a relationship in which we could carelessly make fun of each other but also have meaningful conversations. I’ve never thought much about the way I show my partner I love him mainly since I do it all subconsciously. The things I do he may not all know of either since many of the things I do are pretty small. I send him random videos and ideas I get at literally any time of the day, attempt to learn the games he plays, make fun of him relentlessly, bring him food or just simply spending time together. I love him and I don’t always show it in the most apparent ways. From remembering the smallest details of conversations from months ago or just always responding to his messages before anyone else. I may not have shown him I loved him in the most conventional ways but I hope I got the message across lol.” — Chinese Female, 15
What are some of the hardships of your long-distance relationship?
“I miss her and I don’t always have enough time to talk.” — Indian Male, 17
“I’m a physically affectionate person so not having that connection is tough.” — Filipina Female, 18
“A big hardship would be not seeing them in person. It feels a bit unusual just talking in front of a phone or computer. Also, we don’t get to walk outside or do something active together.” — Korean Male, 17
“Not being there physically with them, not being able to touch them, face to face communication.” — Indian Female, 19
“The only problem for me personally is that I deal with my feelings by ignoring them, which obviously does not work out with a long-distance relationship.” — Indian Male, 16
“Probably the hardest thing is not being able to physically see/hang out with each other. Especially since the transition was so sudden and unexpected. We went from hanging out almost every single day to not seeing each other for months with no warning. I think we were both hoping that we would at least be able to see each other face to face for the rest of the school year and the summer before heading off to college, but obviously that did not happen.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“It’s hard being intimate and close to somebody and then for long periods of time having contact with them. Because humans crave connections and physical connections too. This quarantine has shown us all that fact. So the hardest part is when you can’t hug them or the little things like see their smile. Because nothing can replicate what that looks and feels like in real life.” — Mexican Male, 17
“We didn’t ever expect to go long-distance so neither of us knew how we were gonna actually do it. Lack of communication and effort became a struggle for us. We each put in different amounts of effort and neither of us knew if we were putting in too much or not enough. But instead of openly communicating about it we tried to ignore or pretend it wasn’t happening. That was probably the biggest hardship in our relationship over long-distance.” — Chinese Female, 15
How do you deal with these hardships?
“I just talk to her as much time as I can.” — Indian Male, 17
“There are other ways to express my feelings for her, so I put effort into those, even if it’s not typically how I would do it.” — Filipina Female, 18
“We know that eventually, we get to see each other in person again once there is a vaccine that comes out. Also, we make sure we communicate with each other, so we can help each other during stressful times.” — Korean Male, 17
“Make time for that person a couple of hours in a day so we can talk.” — Indian Female, 19
“I kept telling myself to wait for school to start again, but eventually we learned that it just would not start.” — Indian Male, 16
“Honestly, I can’t really. There’s no way for me to see her because of quarantine. However, I do my best to make up for that lost aspect of the relationship through virtual means.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“ Just pushing through is the hardest part because it can be very lonely not be with someone who you care about a lot and got accustomed to seeing a lot, and then out of nowhere that changes.” — Mexican Male, 17
“After about a month of ignoring what was going on we finally just openly talked about it. Honestly felt like a weight off my shoulders. Admitting that there were actually problems going on helped us realize we each had to work on it together. We decided to take a break apart from each other and honestly I can’t tell if it’s been useful or not. It’s definitely been a ride these past 8 months but regardless, I’m glad we faced the problems and didn’t keep pretending. Experiencing these hardships is eye-opening and we’re able to learn more about each other too. It’s not been easy in the slightest but I’ve still enjoyed every moment.” — Chinese Female, 15
What is your favorite long-distance memory?
“We watched full shows on Netflix over zoom.” — Indian Male, 17
“We video chatted and colored a picture that was split up into pieces so that the next time we see each other we can connect them.” — Filipina Female, 18
“My favorite memory would be building trust even from far away, which is really significant in a long-distance relationship. We have learned a lot about each other, and we never get tired of talking to each other. It’s important to have someone that you know that will always be there for you no matter how far you guys are.” — Korean Male, 17
“Probably when he surprised me and came to stay with me for a weekend lol.” — Indian Female, 19
“I honestly just don’t have any good long-distance memories with her, everything good happened before we left.” — Indian Male, 16
“She sent me this wacko picture of Bibble from Fairytopia: Mermaidia (which we watched together over facetime) and it made me actually laugh out loud.” — Caucasian and Filipina Female, 18
“I think my favorite long-distance memory is one day we both downloaded a video game to play with each other and we both love video games and it was just really fun and wholesome. Especially since she never played it before so it was just a good time and a lot of laughs.” — Mexican Male, 17
“One night while we were calling I started asking him the most random questions. It’s started off really weird since most of the questions I asked people don’t think about on a day to day basis. But we ended up calling for hours I learned so many random things about him. Even though we were 100 miles away I felt closer to him and it was comforting. But a close second is when I would show him how to make cinnamon butter toast at two a.m. just because.” — Chinese Female, 15
Final thoughts: No matter the race, age, or gender, even though all these teens are in a long-distance relationship, they still do everything they can to keep their relationship moving. It doesn’t matter if they had dated for a few months or a few years, their dedication to each other is very inspiring.
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Previously published on Medium.com.
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Photo credit: Scott Broome on Unsplash