Gregory Jaquet thought his problems were everyone else’s fault but his own. He didn’t need therapy. Why would he?
She told me : we should look for help, something is wrong in our relationship and we can’t solve it.
She was right. I knew and I told her. But we didn’t do anything at that time. The fear of a complicated explanation in front of a shrink helped us take some small steps and solved some of the big issues for some weeks. But they all came back.
I know she’s the girl of my life. No one’s like her. We share everything and I deeply love her. But I can’t stand some of her behaviors anymore. I feel like she’s judging me all the time. She keeps on mentioning things I’ve done or not, stuff I should have said or not said.
I feel sadness more often than not, I feel drowned by details of our everyday life and I even feel scared by the day to come when I wake up. But I believe that’s her fault, she’s got to change. I make every effort and do not receive any improvement.
We talked about asking for help a second time. And we didn’t.
Then a very good friend came to spend some days with us. She said to my wife: what’s wrong with Greg? He’s not the man I used to know anymore. He panics and closes himself for pointless details and you seem to panic after him.
I don’t know she said. And then she cried. It’s been that hard for a month, I can’t stand it anymore. There are times when everything seems to be perfect, but he is drowning like that once a day and he makes me feel guilty for his sadness. She explained it all. Our friend told her that depression might be on my way.
That was a relief for my wife. And she told me about that conversation in our next argument, the following night. Here was a choice: I could mock it, ignore it and tell what I felt—that my wife and her friend know nothing. Or accept that truth: that my wife and her friend are two people, they know me more than anyone, they share the same opinion, I might be wrong. I did accept it.
Three days later, I entered that shrink’s office with a mix of pride to have made that step so many men refuse to make and fear to experience a never ending pointless talk about my childhood. Before entering, some things had already changed of course. Accepting I was the one with the problem, understanding that problem might be only partly my fault and hearing there could be a solution to it helped me a lot. I was seeing how a lot of bad feelings could be chased away if I started my own path of a cure of something called depression.