Committed relationships have absolutely nothing to do with perfection; Nor do they have one thing to do with expectations. Honestly, we should expect the unexpected. Life has a fantastic way of forcing us to change. This is great, because we should never want to be who we were when we entered the relationship. However, learning to adapt to the new person requires one to adjust to a new normal. When I mention new normal on my radio show, it sparks interest and great conversation.
It is important to self-evaluate, and identify with who you are and where you are in your life. This helps you to figure why you are doing what you’re doing, and reacting to situations. I find that this experience simply puts things into perspective. I shut the heck up and allow the hubs to speak, I accept when I’m wrong, I am totally honest about how I feel and I get it out and move on. I wasn’t always able to do this. Like many, entering the relationship, I figured, happy wife happy life, things would work themselves out, we love each other so life would be magnificent. Nope, that is not how it works at all.
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There are characteristics that I loved about the hubs as a 25 year old that drives me insane now. There are things that he does now that he never did that I absolutely love! A lot of this is because we have changed, matured, changed locations, friends, etc. So instead of me losing it, I’ve just learned to adjust, fall in love with the new and out of love with the old. (Create a New Normal!)
When I chat with divorced couples that are now best friends, the first thing that I ask is how did you manage to get so close? Many times, they’ve replied I just accept him or her for who they are and we just don’t make a big deal out of anything. I get so excited that I have to high five them! That’s it!! None of us are perfect. Evolution is inevitable! We will constantly be changing and so will the love we have for each other. It is totally okay to fall out of love with something. It doesn’t mean you no longer love your partner. It simply means you should prepare for a shift in the relationship and communicate about how the change/s make you feel.
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Lastly, ignore the saying that a relationship is work. Two imperfect people make up a relationship and they are the WORK! Define your issue and be real with yourself. The key is to create a more refined self to enhance the quality of your relationship.
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Photo credit: Getty images
