You have one too many ways to dress for a date. The rules will drive you crazy; most depend on attractiveness.
Or how you see the interaction ending.
But what about your feelings? Some say our generation is the softest. We are in touch with your feelings. We go against everything our parents and grandparents ever did.
Yet, many older folks regret how they hardened their hearts and pushed down feelings to act tough. They are a little jealous of the emotions we wear on our sleeves.
On a date, your “plus one” can harm your self-esteem easily with dating trends like whelming.
Words hurt. Though attractive, some outfits cannot protect you from the unkind actions of dates. The best fits get centered on you, not how you want to appear to the other person.
Here is a shift in the fashion world you will enjoy adding to your dating life.
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Dopamine Dressing
What if I don’t know what song I want to hear? I turn on the radio. If the DJ doesn’t play a pleasant tune? I’ll change the station.
It’s the same with your closet. Hundreds of outfit combinations, but you think, “I have nothing to wear.” A new fashion trend has a solution for that dating stressor.
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Dopamine Dressing
“When the pandemic hit two years ago, we saw a sudden shift in the way we dressed. Our ankle boots were swapped for slippers, jeans gave way to joggers and our oversized blazers became oversized (extra cozy) jumpers. Comfort dressing was in, everything else was out. Now the pandemic is over and we’ve refined comfort dressing.
“How dopamine dressing works is that we actively choose to wear clothing that makes us happy and brings us joy (yes, please!) — it’s part-fashion, part-mindfulness.”
“Dopamine dressing is nothing new. In fact, a study released a decade ago in 2012 found that when participants were asked to wear clothing that held some symbolic meaning, their perceived confidence increased.” — Glamour Magazine
We don’t know what to wear on dates because we are unsure how we want to present ourselves to someone new.
You’ll choose a flattering outfit. But one that is usually personality restrictive. Dopamine dressing says “forget that.”. I’ll wear what makes me feel good to be my most okay self in this new experience.
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New Clothes + New adventures = More anxiety
Flip the script
No one needs an expensive or new outfit to feel epic on a date. This fact is even more real for new shoes. 100% true if you and anxiety are friends. If you feel uncomfortable at home (your safe space), the discomfort intensifies outdoors.
Skip the dull colors. Or pop in pink and neon colors for red. Dopamine dressing is about validating your feelings.
- Feel good > expect compliments from your date.
- Care for your emotions > Present who you think your date will like.
- Feel bold > Hope your date is a good human mindful of their words.
It adds confidence and comfort. The elegant top with 1,000 washes to its fabric gives you more freedom than one with the tag hidden.
“When we feel good in what we are wearing, we feel more confident,” behavioral psychologist and author of The Psychology of Fashion, Carolyn Mair, told Stylist .
“When we are confident, we can exert influence through our confidence alone. When we feel good, we are likely to be perceived as looking good too, as our posture, voice, and other nonverbal aspects will be more positive.”
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Your clothes have a deeper meaning. It is not only about how you present yourself to the world. It affects your feelings.
You never know how a romantic interaction will pan out. Going into the experience feeling great can cushion the blows. It also ensures you dress less for your crush and more for yourself — another plus for your self-esteem.
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Thank you for reading this post.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com