What’s the deal with extramarital relationships? It sounds like a pretty intense term. Basically, an extramarital relationship is when someone has a romantic or sexual thing going on with someone else while they’re married, without their spouse knowing or being cool with it.
This ain’t like an open or polyamorous relationship where everyone’s cards are out there. This is kind of like playing poker with a secret ace up your sleeve.
Social Contract Theory
Have you heard of the Social Contract Theory?
It’s this idea that people agree to live together under certain rules and laws to maintain order and protect their rights. It’s like a mutual agreement we all.
So, like, from a theoretical standpoint, you can think of this through the lens of the Social Contract Theory.
It’s all about these “unwritten rules” you agree to follow when you enter a relationship or a society. In this case, most marriages have a thing where they’re like, “Hey, we’re only gonna be with each other.” It’s not always written down or anything, just kind of understood.
Breaking this is like totally going against the social agreement, and honestly, nobody digs a rule breaker!
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The Whole Ethics Thing
Alright, let’s get to the good stuff: Is it like, totally wrong to have a side thing while you’re married? Well, there’s no one answer that fits everyone, but most ethical frameworks, like the Kantian ethical principle, say that lying and deceiving are not Good.
So, according to Kant, actions are only cool morally if everyone can do them. Like, imagine if everyone did it, would it still be okay?
Utilitarian perspective
this utilitarian perspective basically says an action is morally right if it does the most good for the most people.
Does cheating on your spouse pass the utilitarian sniff test? Nah, I don’t think so.
It could really mess up your spouse and family emotionally, you know?
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The Crazy Ride of Emotions
We’ve talked about the ethics and all, but what about the emotional stuff?
We’re all emotional beings, looking for some happiness, love, and a little bit of drama.
When it comes to emotional well-being, research shows that having affairs can really mess with everyone’s feelings. Yeah, that’s true — everyone’s a loser. Imagine feeling guilty, betrayed, and having your trust completely shattered.
there’s this theory called Cognitive Dissonance Theory. It’s all about how our minds deal with conflicting thoughts and beliefs.
According to this psychological hypothesis, having contradictory ideas creates pain. If you believe in faithfulness yet are in an extramarital relationship, you’re on your road to mental and emotional anguish.
Dopamine vs. Oxytocin: The Hormones of Love
Don’t forget about hormones. This thing called dopamine, also known as the ‘feel-good hormone,’ can totally flood your system when you’re in the early stages of an extramarital affair.
It’s like this crazy euphoric high that you can experience. Pretty wild, right?
But, oxytocin, the ‘love hormone,’ is what makes us feel connected to our long-term partners and family. It’s kind of like a band showdown but with hormones.
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The Big Picture
So, like, if we look at all these psychology theories and moral philosophies, there’s this pattern, you know? Cheating on your partner can really mess things up. It goes against the rules, breaks trust, and can seriously mess with your emotions and the emotions of others.
Take, for example, Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, which discusses the significance of stable attachments in partnerships for emotional stability; establishing new attachments while maintaining a marriage relationship is equivalent to constructing a house of cards — it’s fragile…
basically…
Is an extramarital relationship acceptable or unacceptable?
There is no universal moral compass, but when ethical frameworks and emotional dynamics are considered, the balances tilt significantly towards the ‘not good’ side of things. You’re effectively gambling with your own and others’ safety. And, let’s be honest, Russian roulette was never considered a family-friendly game.
If you’re struggling with these challenges, maybe it’s time for some reflection or professional treatment.
Sometimes facing the music — even if it is unpleasant — is the bravest thing one can do. Cheers to negotiating the ever-changing terrain of human relationships and emotions. After all, we’re all works in progress!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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