Facebook Narcissism: Why People Post Annoying Facebook Posts

We’ve all got those people on our friend’s list – the ones who post about what they’re doing every day. The ones who post about how great their lives are, or the ones who seem to posts more updates about their amazing kids than they spend actual time with them. WTF is going on you ask? Why are they so many freaking annoying people posting annoying Facebook post after annoying Facebook post?

It could be Facebook narcissism. (with a couple of splashes of other things.)

I used to, and still do to some degree, get incredibly annoyed by these, to the point that I thought I’d look into the psychology behind why people act this way. It’s kind of bizarre when you look at this behaviour from the outside, especially when there are people that you haven’t seen for years constantly talking about how great everything is for them. Of course, you can block or unfriend those people, but this post is about trying to understand why people display themselves online as superstars.

Whilst it might sound like I’m whining, I know that this is something many people scratch their heads over, so instead of getting annoyed everytime I (rarely now) open the app, I want to look at why people behave this way when they wouldn’t make short narcissistic comments to their friends in person.

So first up we have to look at…

What Is A Narcissist?

This is what the English dictionary defines as a narcissist. Of course, there are other complex attributes to narcissistic behaviour, but the long and short of it is the above.

Narcissistic Behaviour

There are many traits that a narcissist may have, whether one or many and the Psychcentral.com describes them as the below;

So whilst a Facebook Narcissist might not be obviously exploitive of others, for example, they might have narcissistic traits that include jealousy, arrogance, and a strong belief that they are unique.

Something like Facebook is a very powerful tool for a narcissist. The ability to warp reality and project an exaggerated image of themselves allows the narcissist to control their persona to thousands of people with extreme ease. Literally, with the simple ability to unlock their phone and post an update, a narcissist can tell the world about all of their achievements and great lives.

The Rise Of The Boring Facebook Narcissist

We all know people that talk a different way online then they do in person. It’s as if their online persona gives them permission to say outrageously self-obsessed comments. In reality, these people usually turn out to be pretty normal boring people when you socialise with them in the flesh. Whilst they may still divert the conversation towards their achievements as employees or parents, in general, they come across as rather bland and nothing like their online character that brags constantly.

A great example of Facebook narcissism is sharenting.

Sharenting is a relatively new term designed by annoyed Facebook users who have become sick and tired of the endless bragging about other people’s children. As far as I can see, this is a common thing that women do more than men. In fact, in recent weeks I’ve seen two different new mothers posting 2 – 3 photos or updates every day since they gave birth.

When we had our son, I posted a couple of photos and said how proud I was, but I left it there and got on with my new role. So why is it some people feel a need to bombarded others in this way?

Well, some of it could be down to women feeling a need to keep their loved ones involved, and not every woman does it to portray an image of perfect parenting where everything is fun and beautiful. However, they don’t post about being kept up at night whilst the baby screams, or when they argue with their partner about who’s going to get up early in the morning.

Women may also feel a need to portray a perfect image of their parenting though. A study involving 127 women found that whilst women posted frequently about their children for varying factors, a large amount did so to gain external validation in the form of likes and comments. Both positively and negatively affecting their views to how good of a parent they were.

Whilst you can argue that this is relatively normal behaviour by modern standards, the line starts to blur when it’s persistent to the point where an individual cannot help but keep posting about the perfect scenarios they find themselves in.

And so a Facebook Narccisist is born.

Facebook Narcissism

Whilst some individuals might get easily sucked into narcissistic behaviour on Facebook, some are simply narcissistic by nature. Usually, these people are the ones who are easy to spot. They are the ones that talk specifically about themselves on a very frequent basis. Selfies, achievement updates, and self-affirming updates are their go-to. More importantly, they can’t seem to see themselves that they are behaving this way. Whilst they feel as if they are showing everyone how great they are, and doing them some kind of favour, their lack of empathy ties into the fact that they can’t see that they are only annoying other people.

We live in a weird time where it’s normal to post hundreds of photos of yourself on your social media accounts. Selfies have become a norm for millions of people. It’s the act of taking multiple pictures of yourself and sharing them with the world, whether they want to see them or not. A Facebook narcissist can be easily spotted by the number of photos they take of themselves. It would seem that there is no reason to post a random picture of yourself, except to fish for praise and validation of your looks from others.

Are Selfies A Sign Of Narcissism?

Are people who take a bunch of selfies on a regular basis narcissists? Well, a study described here, points out that there could be several reasons why people take selfies. The study found that whilst some people might be suffering from ‘selfitis’, some people who take only one or two photos of themselves a day might be doing it to increase their status online. Some people might even take selfies to mark a special occasion, like the end of a marathon, or New Year’s Eve for example.

However, it’s those that take and post more than six photos of themselves a day that could be the ones doing it out of sheer love for themselves.

A study described in this article suggests that visual posts strongly tie in with narcissistic behaviour on social media, whereas more text-based posts do not. This could be due to the fact that images can be edited with ease, allowing the user to create a better image of themselves before posting. The study also found that over a period of four months, narcissistic traits in the individuals increased by 25%.

The Truth About Annoying Facebook Posts

Whether it’s the mum who can’t stop uploading images of her kids, or the ‘traveller’ who snaps everything they come into contact with, the annoying Facebook posts you likely see each day are not so much the fault of the person posting them, usually.

I do not believe most people are Facebook narcissists, but I do think that sites like FB can easily create and fuel narcissistic traits in individuals, especially if the individual is low on attention to begin with. Soon enough the attention seeking behaviour (or fishing) can turn into a chronic need for airtime. So why is social media so effective for narcissists? Because they can blast everyone on their friend’s list with updates about themselves, even though nobody has asked for them.

What this creates is a false perception of what that person is really like, or what their current situation is really like. The person who posts about how great their friends are is likely feeling lonely and isolated. The research shows that this behaviour is often carried out to get some kind of validation due to the individual’s sense of low self-worth.

Whilst Facebook narcissism can become a very real problem for some people, I believe that it can be easily avoided by limiting time on social media, and spending time developing a healthy sense of self-worth in the real world. Social media creates echo chambers for confirmation bias and empty compliments. Real support cannot be substituted in this way, in my opinion.

So the next time you see a Facebook narcissist post about themselves for the 6th time in a day, try not to get so angry, they could be feeling low about themselves and could be crying out for real human support. Hey, you can always unfollow them, or if they’re someone you consider a real friend, why not pick up the phone and have a real conversation!

Do you know any Facebook narcissists? What do you think the causes of their frequent self-affirming posts are?

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This post was previously published on Projectenergise.com and is republished on Medium.