Fact: Sexual Assault Should Never Happen to Men Either

Over the past decades in Australia, there has been an increasing need to have a national conversation about sexual violence. Despite the overwhelming majority of studies highlighting females as victims, where most practices and policies have focused, the effect on men remains poorly understood and is rarely discussed.

Comparing male with female sexual abuse may appear to some as comparing a cut finger to a heart attack.

However, no matter how minor the problem may appear, male sexual abuse does exist. Speaking about such a sensitive issue specifically for men is by no means an attempt to derail the issues of gender inequality, nor is it an attempt to deflect resources from female victims.

Women are talking about sexual assault more than ever before. So, the purpose of throwing more light on this issue is to create more of an understanding that will hopefully enable men to talk more openly about having been victimized without feeling embarrassed or stigmatized.

Defining sexual assault

According to The WHO², sexual assault is defined as a subcategory of sexual violence, where sexual assault usually includes using physical or other force to obtain or attempt sexual penetration.

It also includes rape, defined as the “physically forced or otherwise coerced penetration of the vulva or anus with a penis, or any other body part, or object, although the legal definition of rape may vary and, in some cases, may also include oral penetration.”²

Sexual assault in men is under-researched

Sexual assault or rape in males remains an incredibly under-researched and taboo subject that needs to be put under the microscope more. Though there has been increasing awareness regarding sexual crimes in general, male victims remain a marginalized yet significant subset of affected individuals.

Thorough research into men’s experience of sexual assault has been limited owing to the quasi-collation of statistics from smaller sample sizes due to gross under-reporting. Therefore, the true prevalence of sexual assault in men is largely unknown and remains considerably challenging for the development of meaningful and reliable data collection methods.

Reasons behind this underrepresentation are multifactorial and include:

Gender stereotypes: men are often perceived as being the ‘macho’ active type rather than passive participants in any sexual activity. They are often wrongly assumed to be independent, self-reliant, and able to protect themselves on all occasions. As a result, they may feel emasculated if they display any weakness or vulnerability.
Any disclosure of sexual assault may carry feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, or a loss of self-identity as social denial governs that men are immune to becoming victims. They may feel reticent to contact law enforcement agencies, meaning the harrowing event is never formally recorded.
Gay-identifying and same-sex attracted men face the doubly silencing effects of stigma surrounding child sexual abuse and homophobia. Here, difficulties become compounded by societal denigration of same sex relationships⁴. Men who usually identify themselves as heterosexual may even begin to doubt their sexuality and feel like they may turn ‘gay’.
Most theories describing violent sexual crime support the fact that males are always the perpetrators. They may be consumed with dread that their feelings will be invalidated because the truth is, men may not fully internalise what has happened and identify themselves as the actual victim.
Compared to women’s support groups, there is a paucity of services available for men if they manage to overcome the intense feelings of shame and stigma and wish to divulge information that further masks the actual extent of the problem.

With the advent of courageous vocal philanthropists like Grace Tame¹, who was awarded Australian woman of the year in 2021, finally speaking freely about such sensitive issues, social norms are finally being challenged for the better.

If more women now recognise that sexual assault is an ongoing problem in the community, this will only facilitate men in letting down their barriers and open up about their lived experiences.

Some common myths and misconceptions regarding male sexual abuse³

Myth	Fact
Men cannot be forced to have sex without their prior consent	Anybody can be forced to have sex against without their consent. If an individual does not want to have sex, or is not able to fully consent to it, they are being coerced into unwanted sexual activity.
A man cannot be raped by a woman	Men can be and is it often underreported due to gender stereotypes. Any unwanted sexual contact is sexual assault regardless of gender. In fact, men can be made to penetrate or forced into oral sex, amongst other sexual acts.
Men are emotionally less affected by sexual assault than women	Men are just as affected by sexual assault like women. It may be that they express their emotional pain in a different manner or language of distress.
Men who become sexually aroused or have an erection whilst being assaulted must have enjoyed it	Erections often occur out of a man’s physiological control and therefore can happen at any time. They may also occur in painful or fearful situations, including the act of sexual assault.
Men become ‘gay’ or change their sexual orientation when sexually assaulted by somebody of the same sex	Though abuse is experienced by individuals in the sexual and gender minority community, it is because they are seen as different from the accepted norms of sexual orientation or gender identity. This is mainly due to ongoing societal stigma and prejudice.

There is also an assumption that men who have been sexually victimised ‘automatically’ go on to perpetuate abuse themselves. However, research indicates that 95% of males who have been sexually abused in childhood do not go on to commit offences⁴.

What type of people sexually assault men (or boys for that matter)?

Perpetrators who commit such offences can be of either gender, age, or sexual orientation, be a figure of authority and may or may not have any relationship with the victim.

Like all perpetrators, they may use any means of physical force or emotional and psychological coercion to entrust their victim through “grooming”.

“Grooming”, more common towards children, is defined when a “person manipulates another person to form a bond or a friendship with another, in an attempt to gain their trust and thus create an opportunity to start, maintain and hide their sexual abuse of the victim.”¹

The impact on men’s lives

The emotional and psychological consequences of sexual assault are self-evident. This includes feelings of anxiety, depression, irritability, hyper-vigilance, anger, acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder, the latter arising months or even years after the event.

It is a fact that some male survivors do not disclose their histories of sexual abuse and assault, on average, until after around 20 to 25 years after the act⁵.

Evidence suggests that men exhibit a greater propensity for externalising behaviours such as excessive risk-taking. This may include the misuse of drugs and alcohol and consequently, they are at increased risk of self-harm, suicidal thoughts and attempts to end their own life.

Like women, men may also have problems forming intimate relationships and feel that they cannot give or feel love or happiness, which can reverberate throughout the rest of their life.

What service providers must do

There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach as to how service providers should respond to any male declaring an act of sexual assault.

Every victim’s narrative is individual and will unfold at its own pace. Or unfortunately, it may never.

However, at all costs, it must be understood this form of violence is a violation of privacy and occurred without their consent.

Service providers such as healthcare professionals and frontline workers need to overcome any social attitudes they possess that reinforce male dominance. More broadly speaking, a failure to dispel any stereotypes that defines ‘typical’ masculinity can make it difficult for victims to reach out to friends, family or community.

If men eventually seek support services, it may be prudent for health care professionals to replace terms like ‘therapy’ with alternative words like ‘consultation’, ‘discussion’ or ‘meeting’. This may reduce the stigma of mental health issues, bearing in mind that some men may successfully heal without needing any professional intervention.

Any intervention needs to be conducted in a non-threatening environment, where men should be encouraged to break their silence and confide in services or individuals whom they trust.

It is only by listening to a male victim carefully in a non-judgmental fashion that he can hopefully work through his traumatic experience and emerge as a ‘survivor’.

Though memories may always remain there for life, this word implies notions of resilience and empowerment.

It also incorporates the ideology that men may go on to live a more healthy and meaningful existence despite what happened to them.

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I acknowledge First Australians, the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia. We recognise their continuing culture, their contribution and connection to land, waters and community, and we pay our respect to elders past, present and emerging.

I declare I have no conflicts of interest in my writing.

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Dr Surrinder Paul Singh MB BS (London, UK) BSc. (Hons.)

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