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I took a bathroom break from my Saturday morning step aerobics class at the YMCA. I’m 56 years-old. It’s just what I “gots to do.” I ducked into the boys’ locker room. A young dad was helping his 4-year-old daughter change into her swimsuit getting ready for her kids’ swim class.
Her dad is her hero. He’s one of the bravest men. Dad doesn’t care what he looks like. He’s purposeful, intentional. His patience may be taxed, yet he perseveres. He is all about love. Dad is all about being of service.
Mother Teresa said of service:
Love is a one-way street. It always moves away from self in the direction of the other. Love is the ultimate gift of ourselves to others. When we stop giving, we stop loving. When we stop loving, we stop growing, and unless we grow we will never attain personal fulfillment; we will never open out to receive the life of God. It is through love we encounter God.
Being of service is the invaluable purpose of life. Like Mother Teresa said it’s not giving expecting anything in return. It’s giving of yourself fully. It’s selflessness. Service is absolutely not about me. Paradoxically, in serving others you get your life back, and much more.
I’ve read about the greatness of Mother Teresa. She gave her lifetime in the service of the poor and hungry. She was not some gentle little old lady. No. She was totally no bullshit. If you help out with her, you commit fully. Being nice doesn’t pass for ruthless compassion or meaningful kindness. You serve to serve. Period.
I believe you serve others in what they really need, not necessarily what they want. I got that from Ozawa Sensei when I practiced Aikido at Hombu Dojo, the World Headquarters, back in 1999. I don’t speak any Japanese, barely Aikido moves and ordering sushi. Get that Sensei only spoke Japanese.
Sensei motioned with his body and hands how to move him when we practiced technique for the two-hand grab to the wrist. He was about 70years old, about my size, and more solid than granite. I thought, “What do you want from me?”
Then, I got it. Sensei was that version of me 35 years from then. He gave of himself. He showed me how to move the stronger man with my center, my mind, my breath. Sensei gave me what I needed, not what I wanted. Sensei was of service to me.
We worked out for the entire morning class. We were both sweating and so fucking tired. And that was one of my happiest times on the Aikido mat. Before I left Hombu with my friend Ron and Sensei Dan, Ozawa Sensei drove by in his car. He handed me a box of Japanese candy and rice cakes. I said, “Domo arigato.” Yes, in Japanese.
Sensei Dan asked, “Who was that?” I told Sensei that we trained together in the morning class. I’m forever grateful for Ozawa Sensei. He made me greater. I know that he also knew how much I love him back for his selfless service.
I remember Sensei when I teach Aikido. I told Lukas after throwing him to the mat, “Get up. Walk it off.” I tell 10-year-old Mariko, “Breathe out when you throw.” False kindness doesn’t serve when others are up to greater. Service is giving others what they need, even when they don’t know it, yet.
I remember eating my smoked salmon omelet at the French café with Sensei Dan after Sunday morning practice. Sensei told me, “You treat beginners (students) like gold.” Yeah, we must. I really think that being of service is looking for the “gold” in everyone.
So give of yourself not until it hurts. Rather, serve others so that it fills your soul. I’ve been fortunate and privileged to be on the receiving end of others selflessness be that Ozawa Sensei, Dan or Bobby. Service is not only purposeful. Service is the possibility of legacy. No, we won’t live forever. Yet, in service, we can give part of ourselves that may live on long after us.
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Photo credit: Pixabay