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I believe that finding that elusive thing we call love, whether it’s a romanticized version of love or not, can be difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. A great first date sets the stage for a potential romantic connection. Here are some tips to help make your first date memorable and enjoyable for both you and your date.
Here are some tips on making it easier.
Five Tips for Dating Success
1. Change your mentality about trading up. I remember when I was a single twenty-something living in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and single eligible men and women were everywhere; at work, at synagogue, at my friend’s apartments. And yet, dating was not so easy. I felt that men were always looking to trade up. Don’t like brunettes? Never fear, there is a blonde nearby. Too tall? Too short? Too thin? Wrong color eyes? Trade up. Today, with the plethora of online daters, it’s easy to think that the ‘perfect’ mate is out there, the one who is a buff 6′ hunk, still has all his hair, and is emotionally available (or whatever you *think* attracts you the most). Many people think “next!” when looking through profile after profile. My advice? If you find Mr. Mostly Right, stick with him and see what happens. Mission accomplished.
2. Don’t talk too much. Ask a lot of questions on a date, and show your interest in the other person. Smile. Pay attention to what your date is saying, ask follow-up questions, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and experiences. Active listening is a powerful way to connect with someone. People love attention. This is how we bond and feel a connection towards each other.
Also, try to use open and welcoming body language. Smile, make eye contact, and use friendly gestures to convey your interest and enthusiasm.
3. Choose an unconventional location for your date. The best first dates are ones in which being together is natural. Coffee dates can feel like an interview session. My favorite first dates have been in museums or a picnic in a park. There is something to talk about other than each other. Much more organic. Just make sure it’s a place where you both feel at ease.
4. Guys shouldn’t be expected to pay, especially for an expensive outing right at the beginning. Some resent the expectation. Most first dates are not breaking the bank, and I don’t think there should be a lot of money spent before the relationship develops. Offer to pay, regardless of gender.
5. Relax and enjoy the dating process. You will meet many interesting people. If you are less determined to meet the ‘one’ on each and every dating encounter, you will enjoy dating that much more. Keep the conversation upbeat and positive. Avoid complaining or dwelling on negative topics. Share your passions and interests in an enthusiastic manner. Remember that the goal of a first date is to get to know each other better and have a good time. Don’t put too much pressure on the situation; just relax and enjoy the moment.
At the end of the date, express your gratitude for their company and let them know you enjoyed the evening. If you’d like to see them again, express your interest in a second date.
I see dating as an interesting journey. It’s also a numbers game. You need to kiss a lot of toads, as the saying goes, and I think it’s essentially the truth. Except for one thing ~ most guys are not really toads. They are just not the right fit for you ~ yet. But even though not every first date will lead to a long-term relationship, and that’s okay. It’s an opportunity to meet new people, practice social skills, and have enjoyable experiences.
Keep on truckin’ and you’ll eventually meet the right partner.
In the meantime, have fun. Here’s to your dating success!
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This article originally appeared on Last First Date and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Unsplash
