There comes a point when you’re done with the one-night stands, hookups, and countless date nights.
You’ve had enough. You’re done with the games. You’re at the point where you want stability, loyalty, and peace of mind.
You’re managing your affairs well. Emotionally, you’re more stable. And you’re certain it’s time to find the right one. But how do you know he/she is also ready to settle down? Have they reached the same level of maturity and want the same thing as you?
The truth is, people who are put together, are very attractive to those who aren’t. So you’re likely to fall prey to an unserious partner.
Well, this list will help you pick out these signs. To know whether you and your partner are on the same page.
. . .
#1 Are they committed to your wellbeing?
Couples naturally care about each other. And the reason is simple. They chose to be each other’s support and best friend. So it’s no surprise to care about the well-being of the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
But if your partner can’t be bothered about your wellbeing, it isn’t a good sign.
A partner who wants a serious relationship — a relationship that extends into their future will care if you’re healthy. They’ll be concerned if all of a sudden, your mood drops and you ain’t eating well.
They’ll want to know why you ain’t your bubbling self all of a sudden.
A person who wants a life with you will become a third parent. But if they aren’t, maybe it’s time to start having a conversation about where their affection lies.
#2 Are they active in future plans?
A serious relationship extends to the future. That’s basically why it’s called serious. It’s to be with a person with the hopes and intention that you’ll both walk the aisle together.
For this reason, serious relationships always demand a good amount of energy and investment. As well as serious conversations that may not occur in unserious relationships.
When your partner is on the same page as you, which means, they’re dead serious about your relationship too, they become active participants in the planning process.
They share their own thoughts about how the home will be run. They will not hesitate in filling you in on how they want the finances to be handled. You’ll see them throwing in their cents on your five years plans.
Interest is important in a serious relationship. If they’re interested, it means they care. And if they care it means your relationship isn’t only serious to you but also to them.
#3 Do they make effort to know your family?
I know we like to keep the affairs of our relationships private. Or at least the important ones. However, family is a key part of marriage. Your partner’s family becomes your family too.
So when you’re in a relationship, getting along with your partner’s family is a great thing. But that’s only possible if your partner is serious about you. And this is a good sign to look out for.
Your family doesn’t have to be perfect. Unless you don’t get along with them and want to keep it that way.
But all things being equal, the person you’re seriously dating and making plans with, should at least show signs of wanting to get to know not just the person they’re dating but also know where they come from. And also, get to meet the important people in your life.
If he or she shows no interest in meeting your family or building any form of relationship with your family, it could mean, they aren’t seeing that relationship as anything more than temporary.
#4. Do they have wandering eyes?
When you get to the point where you want to settle down, it means you understand what exclusivity means. It means you know what faithfulness and fidelity stand for.
It also means you understand that character plays a huge role in the success of any relationship. A partner who’s got a wandering eye does not understand these things.
To have a wandering eye is to make yourself available for others even when you’re in a relationship. It means your partner is still open to the chance to meet someone new. They crave attention from others. Such partners are constantly flirty.
The more time you spend with them you realize they don’t have strong boundaries. Such people cannot give you the serious relationship you want. Because they aren’t there yet.
#5 Are there subtle shifts in lifestyle?
It took you a while to come to where you are right now. Both in terms of mindset and lifestyle.
That’s because real growth takes work and time. It’s why very few people ever do. Very few people ever arrive at a phase in their life where they say they want something stable and real.
Growth is letting go. And the reaching for wisdom.
We can’t say we’re growing when we aren’t letting go of who we were. There are changes to our lifestyle which signifies to others that we’re not the same person we were.
A person who seeks a serious relationship and is actively building with you will experience a change in lifestyle. It may be subtle and slow. Nevertheless, both partners will begin to create space to accommodate each other. Your plans and dreams must find ways to coexist.
Making room in your life for your significant other is what creates a subtle shift in lifestyle. You slowly learn it isn’t just about you anymore. You have to put someone else’s thoughts, opinions, and feelings into consideration.
. . .
In closing…
It takes a mature mind that knows what it wants to commit to a serious relationship. And when they don’t, it means they aren’t there yet.
Such a person is yet to find a reason to commit to you and shut the door on others. And you can’t give them that reason.
You can’t make people commit to you.
You can commit yourself to them. You can make them see you ain’t ready for games. You could even show them your plans for the future, but eventually, it’s a decision they’ll have to make by themselves.
Jesus Christ teaches that “We shouldn’t cast pearls before swans.” So if you’re presenting someone your undivided love, and they aren’t reciprocating your commitment and discipline, walk.
Take it elsewhere to someone who will. You deserve better.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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