Five Things Men Should NOT Put in Their Dating Profile

If you’re a straight man, you’re probably not getting enough matches on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Feeld, or whatever other dating apps you’re using.

You might not even be getting any matches whatsoever.

If that’s the case, your initial goal should be to get as many matches with women you’re attracted to as possible.

If you’re a straight woman reading this, this article is probably not going to make any sense to you because the experience on the apps is extremely different depending on which gender(s) you’re interested in. Get out of here; this one’s just for the dudes!

If you’re already getting a lot of matches, you need to niche down and start trying to only get matches that meet more specific criteria, but the vast majority of you reading this aren’t there yet.

You’ve already heard time and time again the things you should include in your profile: a picture that shows you have interesting hobbies, a picture that shows you actually have a social life, funny bios, yada yada yada.

Maybe you already have all the right things in your pictures and profile bio, but you’re still not getting any matches because you included too much. Here’s a list of things you should not put in your dating profile if you’re a man trying to match with women:

1. Anything that could get you banned

I’m not just talking about following the terms of service of whichever dating app you’re using. Some apps (or maybe it’s exclusively Tinder) will ban you for identifying with marginalized groups.

What seems to happen on Tinder is that an account will automatically get banned if enough people report it for any reason, and Tinder will not check it manually to see if the account is actually in violation of their terms of service. This means that conservative bigots can report people of marginalized communities en masse and get those innocent people banned.

I was once banned for putting in my profile that I’m polyamorous, and a lot of people reported me because they’re polyphobic or misunderstand polyamory to mean cheating. On a new account, I was more vague about it on my profile in a way that other polyamorous people would be able to identify that I’m one of them, but those who aren’t familiar with it might miss it. That new account has never been banned.

This might just be for Tinder, but play it safe by following this general rule of thumb: don’t include any information that might cause assholes to report you unjustly.

2. Your MBTI personality type

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a very popular test that categorizes your personality into one of sixteen types. It’s a fun little way to express yourself.

However, it’s entirely unscientific, and you shouldn’t make important life decisions based on it.

Unfortunately, there are some women who will swipe left on a man who has a certain MBTI personality type because they believe it means they aren’t compatible, when in reality they might actually end up being very compatible if she just gave him a chance.

Since your initial goal should be to maximize the amount of matches that you can get, don’t put anything that would make women swipe left on you based on misinformation.

You might be thinking, “If she’s stupid enough to judge me based on something unscientific like the MBTI, she’s not worth my time.”

This is not true. There are many wonderful, sweet people out there who are simply misinformed. They might think the MBTI is based on science because no one bothered to tell them otherwise. Don’t be so quick to judge.

3. Your astrological sign

You should not include your astrological sign in your dating profile if you’re a man for the same reason you should forego including your MBTI personality type: some women will unfairly swipe left on you if they think your astrological sign is incompatible with theirs.

You already know that astrology is unscientific, right? I don’t have to include a link to another article that proves this, right?

Tons of women are into astrology. It’s their nerdy thing. There’s no harm in having fun being into a nerdy thing.

There is potential harm, however, when you let that unscientific nerdy thing guide you in making important life choices. Some women believe that certain signs are “toxic” and will automatically swipe left on you if you’re a scorpio or an aquarium or whatever. It’s basically discrimination based on something you had no control over (your birthday). I’ve heard it being called “space racism” for this reason.

Go ahead and include your astrological sign if you want to avoid any chance at interacting with women who believe in astrology, but what good is cutting out an entire demographic if you have zero matches to begin with?

4. Your Love Language

I know your love language is physical touch. She knows your love language is physical touch. She has already seen a hundred men’s dating profiles today that stated their love language to be physical touch.

She thinks you’re saying that as an excuse to get sexually intimate sooner than she might be comfortable with.

Don’t get me wrong. As I’ve stated in Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women, I am a big fan of using the love language assessment test to improve your relationships. It’s one of many useful tools you can use to understand and love your partner better, and to build a relationship in which you can both be happier.

If you’re like most men, though (especially most single men who haven’t gotten laid in a while), you’re going to think your primary love language is physical touch, and she’s going to be sick of hearing that from men on the apps. Unless your primary love language is something else, don’t bother putting it in your dating profile.

5. Any sign of bitterness

I get it, bro. Dating is really hard as a man. Many of us feel invisible to the opposite sex. The loneliness and desperation is real. Women may be in a swamp desperate to find potable water, but we’re in a desert.

The straight man’s struggles in dating can be incredibly frustrating to experience, especially when you’re being told that you have something called “male privilege,” and that women’s issues are more important than yours. You feel like they’re saying your feelings don’t matter, that your problems aren’t valid, that you might as well just rot away in loneliness because you’re a piece of trash.

It’s true that some women lack compassion and won’t ever bother trying to understand you.

However, after being with more than a hundred women, I can say with absolute certainty that women are generally incredibly compassionate and empathetic. A lot more than men are.

There are endless opportunities for you to meet women who can understand you and men’s struggles, especially if you make efforts to do the same for women.

There is no need to be bitter. You can do the self-work to come to this realization and truly let go of bitterness. Doing so will attract more women into your life, guaranteed. Before that, though, make sure your bitterness isn’t leaking out into your dating profile bio.

BONUS: 6. Fish

Please stop using pictures of you holding a fish that you caught. It’s just going to remind women of the smell and the sliminess. Check out the following article for more information on why that’s more important than you might realize:

What is something men should stop putting in their dating profiles? What is something women should stop putting in their dating profiles? Tell me your thoughts in the comments!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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