Forget Work-Life Balance. Do This Instead.

I made the realization during a two-hour train ride home from work, shivering in soaking wet clothes.

My life priorities were a mess. I was spending too much time on the wrong things and making myself miserable. Sound familiar?

“Just fix your work-life balance, bro,” they’ll tell you. But that’s not the answer. Work-life balance, or the Two Bucket Fallacy as I like to call it, is more of a contributor than a solution to the problem.

There’s a better way.

The Two Bucket Fallacy Is Dragging You Down

“You either walk inside your own story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” — Brené Brown.

The primary problem with the Two Bucket Fallacy is that it’s built on a faulty assumption. It assumes that time is divided into two buckets for each person: work and life. Does that make sense?

You’re alive. Each day of your life comprises 24 hours, which you can spend however you like. Some of those hours are spent working.

People want to divide their time neatly between things they don’t want to do (work) and things they want to do (the rest of life). However, this model falls apart when you realize work isn’t the only activity you don’t want to do. Do you enjoy sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, standing in line at the grocery store, or taking your car for service?

No, there aren’t two buckets of time. There’s only one bucket called Life, and work is a part of it.

When you buy into the Two Bucket Fallacy, you fail to take responsibility for the vast amount of your life spent working. Work becomes something inflicted upon you instead of a conscious choice. Stop sweeping that time under the rug. It’s time to pull it out, shine a light on it, and make hard decisions.

Tangible Benefits for Real Life

“I’m currently out of the office and can be reached by waiting until I get back.” — Anonymous.

The Two Bucket Fallacy pits work and life against one another like the proverbial devil and angel sitting on your shoulders. It creates conflict. And constant conflict causes stress.

Chronic stress is a modern silent killer, causing numerous health problems such as depression, weight gain, sleep problems, and even heart disease. Eliminate the stress by eliminating the conflict.

Integrating your time will also bring a sharper focus into your life. When every action you take is based on a conscious decision, you can live more mindfully and appreciate each moment. This has the added benefit of reducing the chances of burnout.

Implement Your Lifestyle Re-Design

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” — Stephen Covey.

So you’ve grown tired of the old Two Bucket Fallacy and are ready to toss it in the trash. Congratulations! Now it’s time to start re-designing your lifestyle.

First, decide on your priorities. List everything you spend time on and rank them from highest to lowest. Family, friends, travel, hobbies, exercise, sleep, and even work (gasp!).

Are you trying to advance your career? If so, then work should be higher on your priority stack.

Do you want to spend more time traveling? Then, bring that closer to the top.

Are you thinking about starting a family? In that case, you may need to balance family and work time to ensure sufficient income to support any new additions.

Some other factors to consider:

What causes you the most stress?
What do you find most rewarding?
What are your short-term and long-term goals?
What will you sacrifice in the short term for long-term gain?

With your priority list in hand, look at a typical week to determine any hard boundaries that may be needed. At this stage, you’re setting aside hours in each day to dedicate to your top priority items. If career is at the top of your priority list, then fence off time each day to take extra client calls, to meet with a mentor, or for quality flow time to work on a side business.

Is dinner with your family every night a requirement? Then, fence that timeframe off so it can’t be infringed upon. Do the same for the time you need for daily exercise, reading, or meditation.

The boundaries you set are high priority and non-negotiable, so communicate them to others to avoid interruptions and conflict.

Once your boundaries are constructed and fortified, fill in the rest of your time with lower-priority activities. Take a thoughtful approach. When allocating your precious remaining hours, consider what makes you feel energized, fulfilled, angry, or resentful. Remember that you’re constructing a life for yourself. Build it with fulfillment, not frustration, in mind.

Now, as you cross the finish line victorious with your fists in the air, remember that most of the decisions you’ve made are temporary. Your needs and wants change over time, and your priorities will change with them. So, regularly revisit your life design to make any necessary adjustments.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. Put together a plan and try living with it for a few weeks. If it’s not working, make some changes and try again.

Don’t worry about getting a perfect plan on the first try. The perfect plan doesn’t exist; all plans have compromises and concessions. Dial in those compromises until life feels good. When life stops feeling good, it’s time to re-evaluate the plan.

…

I was late leaving work that Friday night years ago and was afraid I would miss my train out of Chicago. As I rushed down Wacker Dr., I made a critical rookie mistake: I walked too close to the street. You see, it had rained earlier that day. A cab sped by, hit a puddle, and covered me in a tsunami of muddy street water.

As I sat on the train, a dirty puddle of water slowly forming around my seat, I took a serious look at my life. I shouldn’t have been in the city so late. If I had left at the correct time, there would have been no need to rush, and I wouldn’t have walked dangerously close to the street. My mismatched priorities finally bit me.

Redesigning my life gave me back control. If you choose to take on this responsibility, I guarantee you’ll lead a happier and more fulfilling life.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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