Who hasn’t decided to wait for an apology from the other party before taking action to resolve a conflict? since I had. I’ve done that before a lot.
And recently, I realized that it is a waste of time to wait for the other person to apologize. This realization has stuck with me and has provided me with great serenity ever since.
Be responsible for every aspect of your life.
Giving up your decision-making and freedom, as well as your freedom from accountability for whatever occurs to you, makes you the story’s victim in the end.
Oh, it’s because he treated me that way. He needs to say sorry. Does that sound like someone who is in complete control of their life? It has an egocentric ring to it, don’t you think? He subjected me to that. Get rid of that belief; you are better than that. I realized that you can experience great tranquility and peace if you accept complete responsibility for everything that occurs to you, regardless of whether you were engaged or not. since you actively decide that you won’t let the outside world dictate how you feel.
If a stranger strikes you with his shoulder as you are walking down the street and then keeps going while you are looking at your phone, you might be angry and expect the stranger to apologize. Isn’t getting angry because you didn’t get what you wanted from the other person just a huge waste of energy?
Instead, you should consider the possibility that he is having a poor day to use your energy effectively. That this has absolutely nothing to do with you. And once you’re in that mindset, you can forgive him because, at its core, forgiving someone is a gift you give to yourself. to set oneself free. to give the circumstance the meaning you want, as opposed to waiting for life to do so.
Beyond liberating yourself, taking responsibility for everything is a strategy that will increase your independence. Because you actively make the issue your own by adopting this mindset, you don’t rely on the outside to define things.
The behaviors of others are a mirror of their state of being.
One of the things I had to learn the hard way was this.
If someone doesn’t apologize to you, it doesn’t necessarily follow that the reason behind it has anything to do with you. A person’s refusal to apologize after making a mistake stems from their fear of being proven wrong.
A person who refuses to apologize is deeply afraid of themselves. That is not our job. We are only able to demonstrate our understanding.
The belief that “if they genuinely cared, they would have treated me better” is a product of the ego, however, as our higher self reminds us, “other people’s behavior is a reflection of how they feel about themselves on the inside.” The rewards of staying with this thought and ignoring what your ego wants to say will be much greater than otherwise.
Adopting those two fundamental principles will be crucial if you want to be able to handle future social conflicts more effectively. This will provide you with more peace of mind, clearer thinking, and a better chance of selecting a superior option when it comes time to make a decision.
What did you learn from this? Please share your thoughts in the comments; I’d love to read them. I’m grateful.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Victoria Heath on Unsplash