Four Loving Words From a Stranger Made My Night

Four simple words

Ah, it had been a rough night indeed. I had attended a ballet that was more chaotic and disjointed than evocative or inspiring. I had a knee injury that forced me to skip dancing tango after the ballet. And on top of that, I was struggling to feel connected with someone dear to me.

All was not well in little Karen Land.

And so after the ballet, I limped into a swanky bar for a quick dinner.

As I sat down, I felt annoyed. I was sad to be injured, disappointed by the ballet, and frustrated to be spending the remainder of my Saturday night solo at a bar instead of doing something I loved with someone I adored.

And so I promptly ordered a promising cocktail; an infusion of citrus, lavender, and charred rosemary, and sighed, feeling that the evening was all but lost.

I barely glanced up as the waiter put my cocktail down before me. But as I did, he looked me in the eye and held my gaze. “There you go, love,” he said softly as he slid it toward me.

Something about that moment, those words, softened my heart.

This may sound odd, but something about what he said, and how he said it, spoke to my feminine senses. I felt cared for, provided for, and seen. Not just another random girl floating through the bar who would be soon forgotten.

Maybe he sensed that I was having a rough night and needed a little love — even from a total stranger just delivering my drink.

Even though it was only four words spoken within less than four seconds, I suddenly felt connected to someone — almost like getting a warm hug that I sorely needed.

And as crazy as it may sound, that shifted the rest of my evening.

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Don’t shy away from it

Words have tremendous power and yet society wants to manipulate us into treating one another with total sterility and caution.

Too many people don’t speak up or say anything, even when they want to say something kind or complimentary.

However, I always welcome compliments and affectionate talk. Although a cashier did call me Princess once, and while I wasn’t quite sure whether she was being cute or trying to make a point, I decided life would be easier if I just assumed she was being sweet.

Anyway.

I’m a self-proclaimed ultra-feminine girl, so I do my best to remain open to receiving the gifts of life, especially when they come in the form of kind words or acts from strangers.

People are generally open to stopping me to share a few kind words. It comes equally from men and women. I’ve even had teenage boys tell me they love my hat, or I have cool hair, or my dress is awesome.

You’d think a middle-aged woman would be invisible to young men, but hey — I’m simply happy to be seen and appreciated. It’s not for me to judge who compliments should (or should not) come from.

Each and every one delights me and surprises me.

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How you receive it

These compliments and acts make my day every time because I know how hesitant people are to do so these days.

Therefore I always receive them with gracious delight.

Regardless of who they come from or how wonky the compliment is.

People don’t always get it right or deliver it perfectly.

Sometimes people do or say weird things. Give them grace, let it go, and forget about it. People trying to be nice aren’t trying to harm you.

Don’t be a psycho who demeans or shames others for trying to be kind.

Gracious and kind. That’s all you gotta do.

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You never know

I applaud men who talk to me like the feminine woman I am. I want to feel seen, heard and appreciated. I love feeling cared for, safe, and provided for. And it takes so little to convey that to us even in a super brief transaction.

Last night someone told me that you can compliment a man once and he’ll remember it forever. But a woman wants to be complimented all the time.

I can’t disagree with that.

Sometimes I just don’t feel pretty. Sometimes I question whether I am doing anything right in my life, or whether I’m having any positive impact on the people in my world. Sometimes I simply feel invisible, totally disconnected, and like I just don’t matter.

All part of being human, I suppose.

You never know what someone needs to hear and feel when you encounter them.

A few words or one small action that leaves someone feeling a tiny bit loved, cared for, seen, and heard can brighten their soul in ways you may never know.

Even if you never see that person again. ❤

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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