Four Petty Things People Do After a Crushing Breakup

Some people just don’t take a breakup well. They don’t want to accept that it’s over. They refuse to live in the new reality without their partner anymore.

I know it’s not easy to take in. There are lots of reasons why letting go is hard. This ex could be your first boyfriend/girlfriend, or they could be the one who promised you the world but ended up turning their back on you.

Whatever the reason is, your way of dealing with the breakup can either help you become a better person — or worse.

Some people turn into a petty ones, someone who still clings to their ex even after years of the breakup.

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1. They still stalk their ex on social media religiously

Admittedly I’ve been one of those petty exes before where I couldn’t stop “monitoring” my ex’s social media. Six months went by, and I still couldn’t go a day without checking his latest updated status.

I knew which city he lived in, his new girlfriend, and what she does for a living. I dug into every little detail as much as I could to make him still feel close to me.

While in reality, I was just acting crazy.

Stalking your ex religiously is one of the prettiest things you could ever do to yourself because it wouldn’t make you move on sooner. In fact, it holds you back even more from getting over the breakup.

By “keeping” them in your life, you delude yourself into thinking it’s not over and there’s still hope.

Let me tell you something if they don’t come back and make it right again — you shouldn’t either.

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2. They talk badly about their ex all the time

Kanye West is one of the perfect examples of why being petty never looks good on you.

Whenever the media interviewed him, he used the chance to disrespect his ex-wife, Kim, and constantly talked about something he shouldn’t even reveal in public.

Don’t be like him — it’s going to backfire on you in the future.

The thing is, you can be right with all of your comments about your ex, they can be narcissistic, and you’re just the victim, but no one will take it seriously if you can’t stop yourself from talking bad about them.

They said you could see somebody’s true color when you were no longer with them. How they react to the separation and what’s their comment about you can tell a lot about them.

So refrain from even talking shit about your ex and making yourself look petty. Let the time reveals the truth and moves on with your life.

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3. They drop negative comments on their ex’s new girlfriend

Nothing feels worse than seeing your ex already moved on a month after the breakup. And they showed it off on their social media.

Though I never supported this kind of move because a cruel thing to do, it also triggers their ex to pull the crazy moves.

One of them is that the person who feels hurt from the breakup will drop nasty negative comments on both the ex and the ex’s new partner.

And if you’re about to do this too, let me tell you that this isn’t worth it.

Not only you’ll lose your integrity, but you also won’t’ be living a peaceful life for a long time.

Stalking and leaving unpleasant comments will give you nothing but more hatred inside your heart.

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4. They tell other people not to date you

This is another level of pettiness.

People like this have this way of thinking, “if I can’t have you, then nobody else.” So what they do exactly is tell everyone else not to date you.

They exaggerate your flaws, make sure people see you as a bad person, and tell people that the breakup happened because you’re this or you’re that. It’s basically a toxic trait.

They never want to see you happy. They have so much grudge and want to make sure you’re just suffering just as much as them.

So when they finally go out there telling the world how undateable you’re, they feel like you deserve it. Their hatred has taken over their sanity.

“Hold on to the thought that no emotion lasts forever, no matter how wonderful or how terrible the emotion may be. The tears may last a little longer than you would like, but they will get better. I promise.” ― Osayi Osar-Emokpae, author of Because You Deserve Love.

There’s no shortcut to healing from a crushing breakup. Especially when you’re on the receiving end, it’s a lot harder to bear. But at the same time, you need to remember that you can’t spend your whole life hating on your ex.

You can’t be like those people who never seem to forgive and forget.

You can’t be like those people who never allow themselves to be happy again because they think life is over.

And you can’t definitely be like those people who still revolve their life around their past relationship — meanwhile, the ex has long gone moved on with someone new.

No, you’ve got much better things to do.

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Hi! Anggun here. I write about all things that you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you feel less alone on your journey. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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