Get Old Madonna! We Will Still Love You!

The more folded a flower is, the more beautiful it looks, and the more fragrant it is!

That’s what my paternal grandmother used to say, who lived most of her life helping my grandpa on their farm, located in a dry town. not an ideal condition for skins at all.

As far as I know, she never wore makeup or put any cream on her face. not that she didn’t want to, she was just too busy for that. having 7 kids, a large house, and other responsibilities could only provide her one thing; Beauty Sleep.

I lost my grandma not so long ago due to dementia. she was bedridden for years before we lost her. her physical conditions aside, she had the perfect skin that survived long hours of sun exposure over years of working on the farm despite having a white tone.

If it wasn’t for her situation, she would maintain her almost wrinkle-free skin in her 70s. it was only sleeping mostly on her right side that made some deep wrinkles appear and if I ignore that, she was always the beauty icon that created a strong sophisticated concept of beauty in my teenage mind:

I am perfect the way I am!

Back in those days I loved wearing makeup and it wasn’t to look beautiful, I just loved the transformation. I loved it for how it highlighted my facial beauty instead of turning me into a whole new person. the fun and excitement of an occasional transformation that makeup did were always better than burying my face under layers of cosmetics that could do nothing but harm to my very young skin.

I didn’t inherit my grandma’s skin, unfortunately. perhaps I have a similar skin tone to her but it’s still a different quality. my dad has a darker skin tone while my mom’s skin is white and unlike all my siblings, I got my mom’s skin tone with a gentle hue from my dad.

When my youngest sister was born — synchronized with the first signs of disease in my grandma — I used to sing her the song “Little Girl” by Madonna as a lullaby. she who understood no word of English would stare at me with her cute big eyes as she’s trying to understand the words rather than fall asleep. it was so sweet.

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Although I was thinking if she grows up and wants to know Madonna more, I’d probably distract her till she’s grown enough and have her core personality shaped. I would like her to have a different understanding of growing into old age and today Madonna is not the right example.

What I did was switch to my grandma’s traditional lullabies that she heard from older women. for that, I had to spend more time with her and hand-pick the lullabies that have positive meanings to be planted in a toddler’s subconscious mind.

Madonna is talented, but she doesn’t healthily represent women. I understand that show business requires the material — aka physical attraction — to be in perfect condition but that only keeps things at a surface. I mean, if Celine Dion and Madonna have a concert, the audience will enjoy both for sure but those who go to Celine Dion’s concert will come out feeling better because they received a better touch of art that reached through them, rather than linger on surface and that’s what I’m talking about.

What Celebrities like Madonna do, bring way more insecurities and unfair expectations into women’s world. right now we’re seeing brave women that are fighting on social media to normalize natural skin look with all the pores, hair, wrinkles, and spots. a lot of them share their skin issues such as hirsutism or eczema with admirable confidence, but one attempt by a celebrity can drown them all and take away their glooming spark.

Current waves of beauty portray nothing but the slavery of women; those who serve physical perfection for fame and money. what would the unaware young woman expect falling into this pattern and repeating the same cycle just to fit in the world where women like Madonna set the standards so perfectly, even in a very old age.

It’s cruel enough to contaminate a woman’s mind with the obligation of cosmetics, there is no need to materialize her even more by taking away her natural cycle of life. women age and they age beautifully just like any other human. to take away the harmony of physical aging is the worst thing to do.

If one’s invested in overall body health to live old years a bit better, that’s a valuable effort. but anything that limits a woman to physical beauty, never actually stops her from aging. in fact, it takes her back to eons ago when women were chosen as spouses or servants based on their physical attraction (while the physically different women would remain shamed and abandoned for the rest of their lives)

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If Madonna could have chosen to age normally like her contemporaries, as well as face her issues against getting old, there would be less burden on the next generations that are now idolizing newer victims of the same category, such as Cardi B and Kardashians. instead of these two examples, we could be fascinated by strong educated women who managed to make a change in our world.

Perhaps I wouldn’t feel hurt losing my grandma the way I did if celebs normalized getting older. my young mind had lots of regrets for not “preserving” my elderly loved ones like Hollywood stars. I went backward in my life a little bit since then, I felt insufficient, weak, and insecure for a while, all because the reality was different than what Madonna and her like-minded women taught my generation.

If I ever have a child, there’s no way I sing Madonna’s song as a lullaby again. I still love Madonna for who she is as a human being. I have no idea what she is going through, whatever crisis she’s having that made her deny her truth.

What I can do is focus on protecting future generations. so I’d make my own empowering poems and whisper them in my toddler’s ears. that’s how I attempt to make a difference that I’m sure benefits both men and women.

The time has come for women to be embraced however they are, so they can make room and focus on inner perfections and elevate their spirits higher. this matter is best achieved when we have less perfect and more real icons.

Isn’t that the secret of immortality after all, once your actions make you permanent in history?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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