When dealing with an unsatisfying relationship, frustrating friendship, or disappointing interaction with a family member, everyone can benefit from a bit of introspection. Some key considerations are — do you know exactly what you are looking for? Have you made these needs abundantly clear to the people you expect to fulfill them? If the answer to either question is no, you might be cheating yourself out of love and demanding the impossible from others.
We can all benefit from increased self-awareness, but if you have not taken the time recently to evaluate where you are at and where you would like to be emotionally, there is no better time than the present. It is easy to fall into a routine without realizing we are not quite whole. Regardless of who you are or who you have been, you are deserving of joy, excitement, safety, and warmth. While you definitely do not need another person to provide you with those feelings, it can certainly help to brighten things up.
A helpful exercise is imagining your ideal life and noting carefully what changed between that and your reality. Before you check out on a lottery daydream, think about what you are actually changing in your daily life. Is it more time with loved ones? Less time spent working? Perhaps more attention? These are all attainable and tangible goals, and you can start making progress on them even without the Mega Millions.
The final step to getting all you want from others is making sure that they know exactly what they can do to make you happy. If you want boo to surprise you with flowers from time to time, you need to make that known. Expecting someone to read your mind is not only impossible; it sets both of you up for failure. The key when making these asks is to do so in a loving and mutually respectful way that acknowledges how each of you might be able to contribute more moving forward.
Once you have created a network of meaningful and stable relationships in your life, it is time to nurture them! Put in as much love as you can muster and others will reciprocate. Soon you will be surrounded by kindness, kinship, and maybe even a bouquet. In the meantime, check in with your loved ones and ask them what you can do to bring them a little light.
Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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