What’s life like for a guy getting paid to service women? Vin Armani, in his own words.
“Gigolo” isn’t a job title.
Many male escorts, including myself, will use the term “gigolo” in reference to our profession. More often than not, such use is the easiest way to clarify that our clients are women -– that we are heterosexual. Technically my profession is “escort,” although I think the term “companion” is much classier and also more accurate.
Before the TV show “Gigolos” — the reality series in which I star — began airing on Showtime in 2010, the world I inhabit in my professional life was completely unknown. Three years (and 5 seasons) later, my world has been glimpsed by millions and the term “gigolo” has found its way into the common lexicon. The question I field from people who first encounter me, however, has not changed.
It’s almost impossible for me to know what someone means when they ask me, “How did you get into this?”
Are they asking how I wound up on a TV show? Do they want the story of how I met my agent? Could they be interested in how I acquired the skills to even be qualified to work for my agent in the first place? Then there is the possibility that they are wanting to know how I acquired the mindset to pursue the path that brought me to this point in my life.
I have often compared the life trajectory of a high-end straight male escort to that of an athlete. You might expect a Major League Baseball player to be confused if asked, “How did you get into this?”
I expect his basic answer to be not so far from my own: I fell in love with the game, became really good at it, people noticed, now I get paid to play.
The world shown in “Gigolos” the reality show is a glamorized and stylized version of my actual world.
The portrayal is not inaccurate, but it is, by default, an edited version of events highlighting the most exciting, humorous and sexy parts of my profession and lifestyle. I am glad that the viewing audience has had such a positive reaction to the show and, by extension, to my comrades and me. However, even the most dedicated viewers tend to come away with some misconceptions about the life of a gigolo.
The most common misconception about my profession is that it is “all about sex.”
When our show premiered four years ago — and even now, years later -– many people were incredulous. Why would any woman pay for sex when she could just show up at any bar and get it for free?
If by “sex” we mean “sexual intercourse,” then I would wholeheartedly agree that women do not pay for sex (at least not enough women to support an industry). Most of my time “on the clock” is spent in appointments of between 6 and 48 hours each. I take it as a great compliment that someone would think I have the sexual stamina to “go” for 24 or 48 hours straight. What is it, then, that makes a day of my companionship worth thousands of dollars to my clients?
An escort, at the top of his (or her) profession, provides a service of almost incomparable psychological worth.
When we think of our ideal relationship, most of us envision a partner who arouses us with their physical presence, stimulates us with their mental prowess, demonstrates affection and attention to our needs (at times before we know what we need), and accepts us for who we are –- flaws and all -– without passing any judgment.
I regularly have clients tell me things they “have never told anyone before.”
Time with a talented professional companion creates a space where clients can feel free to lay bare their biggest fears and insecurities, knowing that the escort’s primary goal is that client’s happiness. In terms of therapeutic value, a great escort beats a psychologist any day of the week. Hell, when was the last time your shrink held you in their arms? Would you want them to anyway?
I detailed my personal philosophy on the art of love and my prescribed path to “gigolodom” in my book “Tao Of The Gigolo.” I’ve now taken my art one step further by forming an agency, Companion Concierge, with the explicit mission of finding the most talented companions and connecting them with clients who appreciate the kind of intimate one-of-a-kind service that I have personally been providing for years. I believe that, in an age where we feel increasingly disconnected and constantly judged, women, especially, can benefit immensely from the kind of genuine connection that can be created when they seek out a high-end male companion.
I often refer to myself as a “professional dater.”
I think it’s a pretty fair assessment of what I do. If I’m at work, after all, I’m also on a date. I take great pride in my work, and I am always striving to be the best dater I can be. Men often ask me for dating advice, but my clients, many of whom are just getting back in to the dating scene when we first meet, seek my counsel about dating and relationships frequently as well. Although each of us has our own challenges when it comes to having a fulfilling romantic life, there are a few tidbits of “gigolo wisdom” that have proven to be helpful to the women I have advised on the subject of dating.
The most potent advice I can offer to any woman seeking to improve her lot in the dating world is: DATE!
For many women, the thought of being in the dating pool is scary. The concept carries, for a woman, the implication –- generally accurate -– that she is “single.”
Even with the cultural strides that have been made just in the last few decades, the societal, and even biological, pressures for a woman to be in a long-term committed relationship are omnipresent. I know it can be sometimes be easy for people to wallow in the fact of being single because I “haven’t found that special someone” — easier than it is to expend any real effort to find a compatible partner. I assure you: All the “good ones” are most definitely not “taken.”
I call this the arena the “sexual marketplace.” I use this term as the catch-all for the rules and norms –- the economics, if you will –- that govern the human mating game. If you want to find the perfect mate, you will need to start walking the aisles, browsing for potential matches and taking more than a few test drives.
At the same time, you need to take daily action to build up your “sexual bank account” so that when you find a good match, your value will be as obvious to him as his value is to you. That value is going to be made evident to him mainly through your attitude and confidence within yourself. Taking focused, daily action that is solely focused on your mental and physical health will, in very short order, reduce stress and insecurities and help you to express your inner and outer beauty more fully.
I would be professionally remiss if I didn’t, finally, note how useful a companion-for-hire can be to jump starting your dating life. Unfortunately, many people find their dating life to be a series of confrontations, with each party jockeying for position. Many of my clients find it both enjoyable and educational to be able to have a series of dates where they know that I (their dating partner) has nothing but their enjoyment and pleasure in mind.
In that relaxed environment, a woman is able to find her true self. She can explore those things which arouse her on every level in a safe romantic setting. Being able to provide such a service has never been a job.
I have always considered it a calling.
–
By Vin Armani
–
Originally appeared at xoJane
More from our partners at xoJane.com:
What Candace Cameron Said About Marriage and Why We Should Care
The Viral Success of #NotYourAsianSidekick Wasn’t About Me, But About All of Us
I’m a fan of Vin’s and of the show, Gigolos. Yes, it depicts the funniest (those guys are hilarious), sexiest scenarios, but it also shows much of the human connection he’s described in this articles. Vin and his coworkers do actually go on dates with clients. Sometimes there’s no sex at all. Sometimes the clients just want someone to talk to or flirt with. By hiring a gigolo, his clients have a safe space in which to practice flirting and dating. And Vin’s right. Everyone needs to practice dating. If you don’t build up the confidence to take some chances… Read more »
This is an awesome topic.
You can find more articles that give great insight, and engage with companions and patrons at consiergedumonde.com/forum
Two articles I wrote can be found here:
° Taboo to Très Chic: Male Escorts
http://conciergedumonde.com/forum/index.php?topic=1038.0
° The Winning Fomula
http://conciergedumonde.com/forum/index.php?topic=1042.0
Yes, the guy is a prostitute. Yes, some women pay to get sex And we all need to get over it. It is a myth that women need to be in love to feel sexual pleasure. Just look at the figure sales for dildos and vibrators and yet, what kind of connection can you get with a disembodies plastic penis? Yet, dildoes and male escorts have some advantages; sex toys can’t murder you, and male escorts are less likely to kill the person who hires them than a random stranger on the street and, I’ll admit it raw, they know… Read more »
Jules had it right … he’s a male prostitute. And women who fall for all this mumbo jumbo about his wanting them to feel good and be affirmed blah blah blah are just as delusional.
What I find almost as intruiguing as the article is that @Julia Byrd felt the need to comment in great detail on every single post. Something going on for you here Jules?
Hi Tom
When Jules inter the discussion it always becomes interesting. So leave Jules alone!!!!
His comments and thoughts are most welcome.
And this giggolo is in fact a male prostitute. That’s all .
Well, that may be your experience Jules, and I would say many women do know how to develop friendships, yet maybe not the friends to sex relationship. I have a couple of them off the top of my head I can think of. And i’m not convinced it is about the sex but just a good damned time for them that they naturally feel sexuy so do it. I have a couple of them off the top of my head I can think of for that very reason. Maybe it is the sex. Who cares. So why then would they… Read more »
I think you’re providing a wonderful service. Many men think women are all together, having the world by the tail. No pun intended. The fact is they are as neurotic as men, and at times need to pay for friendship from the opposite sex as they don’t really know how to go about developing it on their own. Bully for you and the girls who are smart enough to recognize it. I learned a long time ago to give up my purely sexual pursuit of women and to focus instead on becoming friends with them. Guess what? I got laid… Read more »
@ mark, “……as they don’t really know how to go about developing it on their own.” The vast majority of women do know how to go about this Mark. However, the reason they are paying for sex is the same reason men pay for it. Like men, they are looking for a superior sexual experience from a good looking well built and hung man. Simple as that Mark. If they were looking for merely friendship and companionship, they would not indulge in the sex. At its core Mark, this is very much about sex too. “I learned a long time… Read more »
If this was ‘female’ companion to male clients writing this the comments section would be pages long with people who wish to insist that the companion is a victim being exploited by her clients, but just too deluded to know it. The idea of a prostitute being empowered seems to threaten some deep moral anti-sex prejudice in our society. High end female prostitutes would tell you exactly the same thing, most of their job has little to do with sex.
@ Adam Blanch, “The idea of a prostitute being empowered seems to threaten some deep moral anti-sex prejudice in our society.” How about it simply offends some peoples moral view of humanity and human dignity. Why don’t we replace ‘prostitute’ with ‘criminal,’ ” The idea of a criminal being empowered seems to threaten some deep moral anti-criminal prejudice in our society.” Now I guess you are going to bitch that I am comparing prostitutes with criminals? Oh well. I do not share your utilitarian views of human relations. Nor am I a moral relativist. Btw, it’s funny you used the… Read more »
Geniune connection? I don’t think a genuine connection can be paid for. Financial exchange takes away from anything genuine. That being said, I have no problem with the women who take advantage of this service, or the service provider. Whatever floats your boat.
I disagree, people pay for genuine connection all the time. they pay therapists, prostitutes, bar tenders, phone counsellors. Every time a person goes to a therapist they are paying to be able to say the things that they cannot say to other people without risk. I can assure you that the connection and the relationship is real. Just because it has a financial component (so does marriage) and it won’t continue long term doesn’t make the exchange any less significant. the therapist is genuinely their to serve their client. why can’t that be the same for a gigolo or prostitute.
@Tekoah, I think a woman can certainly obtain a genuine connection with him. After all, how is he any different than another ‘hot’ guy they want to sex. Also, he is providing her with the ‘boyfriend’ experience. Where I think there is a lot of mindf*^%ing is when he calls himself a professional dater. It’s like the people at Subway being ‘sandwich artists” The only different between a street level prostitute versus a high class escort (man or woman) is socioeconomic class and the clientele they serve. Think about it this way; if you remove the sex from it would… Read more »
Did you even read the article?
Professional dater. LMAO!!
How about male prostitute? You are being paid for sex.
I hope that you’re not as dismissive with the women in your life.
They’ll only end up needing professional help.
@ Principal J,
Yes! Women have taught me well. I merely behave as they do!
You are now dismissed!
Cheers!
It’ll be interesting how long people will be able to hold off before the slut-shaming starts, all the while insisting it isn’t slut-shaming at all. Topics like this are to hypocrites what jam is to ants.
@ Michael,
If it walks like duck, sounds like duck, and looks like a duck, then it is duck!
For his sake, I hope Vin’s clients are the “Deuce Bigalow” types. He should get a hardship allowance for those.
Hello Mr. Armani, You’ve made a pretty compelling argument for a subject that is pretty taboo, especially for a person with a traditional moral background like myself. I think there is a huge need for women out there to feel loved and affirmed and a lot of men out there aren’t doing it. A lot of the time they’re just out there to get some at the end of the night and don’t give a shit about how the woman feels about it afterwards. But still, I think that a woman deserves to be affirmed and to be loved by… Read more »
@ Jonathan Quist, You say, “But still, I think that a woman deserves to be affirmed and to be loved by a man who really does love her and care for her and is committed to her: a love that doesn’t come with a price tag.” OK. I agree with you 100%. But is this not equally true as well? But still, I think that a man deserves to be affirmed and to be loved by a woman who really does love him and care for him and is committed to him: a love that doesn’t come with a price… Read more »
“Many of my clients find it both enjoyable and educational to be able to have a series of dates where they know that I (their dating partner) has nothing but their enjoyment and pleasure in mind.” This guy has great marketing skills! ‘Dating partner’, ‘their enjoyment and pleasure’ Hilarious. Well, it is best that a lot women go to men like him AND stay with men like him. They can both indulge one another in their respective vanities. But I thought women didn’t like strange men? Oh I forgot. He comes highly recommended. He is just giving women the ‘boyfriend… Read more »