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When you bring up a new Word Document, and it is just a blank white page in front of you, do you wish life could be like this, starting new? I am at the FREAKING OUT stage of my leap of faith journey. I am not sure if that freaking out is in any “12 Step” program, but it should be. My other thought is to find the—this is how my mind works—whiteboard of life and start erasing and writing a better life.
There is Biblical saying, “God will never give you more than you can handle” (1 Corinthians 10:13), and it has been modernized from the original. When you are in that zone of feeling overwhelmed, how do you handle life? For me, in my past, as I was going through my divorce, I would sit and think, “What red wine goes with, well red wine?” Self-destruction and depression were two of my best friends. The “Why me, God” was my internal catchphrase.
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“Appreciate your regrets.”
-Russell Crowe
Years ago I purchased a video (remember VHS?) program about promoting your speaking business. The main message was that you had to “brand” yourself as an “expert.” I was not very comfortable with telling others I was an expert. Along those same lines, people who might even be part of your inner circle say something like, “Oh, you should not have regrets.” Right now, do I regret quitting a job? As much as it has added more stress to my marriage, I would say no. Do not listen to the experts because your gut is the expert.
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Another week and I want to share with you a win of some sort that would prove that taking the leap was a wise decision. I got nothing.
As a matter of fact, I missed a week of sending in the weekly article because I thought I was ahead of the writing game. That sucked because I pride myself on not letting others down. Lucky for me, I work with some great people here at The Good Men Project.
The only true win is that I am still married. My wife and I are unfortunately not wearing wedding rings until we get our marriage on a different track. For us, the rings do represent a cohesive marriage, so not wearing them just shows that we are not on the same track.
The interesting fact in all of this is that I still have faith that God is going to help me find my way. If you knew me a year ago, that phrase would have NEVER come out of my mouth.
Today, after I send this column to my editor, I have to put faith into myself. What that will mean is, keep moving forward with my goals:
- New paid coaching client
- Sell our books
- Meditate: very behind on doing that
That is really all because I am a simple person. My wife keeps telling me that I still keep giving away to much of my talents. I know life is about selling and a skill that I am not very good at. People keep asking me to help them and saying “No” is another skill that I need to be better at. Add the sales and saying no equals that maybe my wife is correct that I do give away too much and could be because I have faith in others. That they will see the value I bring and will offer to pay me. Am I wrong here?
Maybe, just maybe that all of this is part of the process. The faith that the leap is well worth the freaking out and that something good is very close to happing is what I need to believe in daily. Knowing that I have created my own additional stress is OK because this is temporary.
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