Jamie Utt notes that while revenge may be our first reaction to violence, it does nothing to solve the problem, nor does it support survivors in their healing.
As the verdict was handed down that Jerry Sandusky, convicted child rapist and former Penn State football coach, would spend the rest of his life in prison, the twitterverse exploded!
(it’s notable that this came from a widely-followed sports reporter)
Now, I have to admit that while I consider myself on the road to understanding peace through pacifism, few things make me want to inflict violence on another more than violence against children, particularly sexual violence. It robs children of their innocence and scars them for life; any person that would inflict such violence on a child is seriously disturbed, and they deserve punishment.
But is wishing rape upon those who have committed atrocities the measure by which we should understand justice?
One of the great failures of our so-called “justice” system is that there are virtually no resources or effort put toward healing and rehabilitation. In short, restorative justice is all but absent from the U.S. understanding of justice and punishment.
Now, Jerry Sandusky did some terrible things, and for that, he should be punished. However, we also need to remember with as much empathy as we can muster that those who commit such violence against children are often doing as a result of their own trauma. Perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse are significantly more likely to have experienced similar abuse when they were children, and they are often suffering from tremendous hurt and depression as a result.
Does this excuse their abhorrent actions? Absolutely not. But does punishing violence with violence, rape with rape, help anyone or anything?
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When one of my best friends told me that she was drugged and raped, I told her that I wanted to beat the shit out of the man who did that to her. Only later did I find out that such language only hurt her more. One of the first things we were told when I was trained to be a sexual assault survivor’s advocate was, “Never introduce more violence into the situation. Even if you are angry and want to act in violence, to tell a survivor this or to act on your anger can often be tremendously retraumatizing or triggering for survivors.“
When I see the twitter rants calling for Jerry Sandusky’s rape in prison, I can’t help but think about the survivors of his violence. Do calls for Sandusky’s rape help them heal? Do calls for his rape help them feel that justice is done?
From all of this, three things are clear:
1. We fail to effectively support survivors of sexual violence in their healing.
With as many as 1 in 6 women (or 1 in 4 by other measures) and 1 in 33 men experiencing sexual assault in their lifetimes in the U.S., every single one of us knows survivors of sexual violence. However,42% of rape survivors never tell anyone about what happened.
Yet the topic is, so often, brushed under the rug. While my father had many talks with me about sex, he never once talked to me about consent, its importance, or how to ask. If sexual violence is discussed in mainstream culture, it is to encourage women (and only women) to take certain precautions to prevent themselves from getting raped.
Where is the discussion of prevention, of consent, of positive sexuality in popular culture? What are we doing to help 1 in 4 women and 1 in 33 men heal from the trauma of sexual violence? Where are the national healing programs and initiatives to help those who have experienced trauma? When so many people are calling publicly for another person to be raped in response to such a terrible act, are we taking into account the effect on survivors or on our cultural consciousness? Considering that only about 4% of Americans go to counseling or psychotherapy in a given year, there seems to be a problem of access . . . or stigma.
2. We particularly fail to support male survivors of sexual violence.
10% of all survivors of sexual violence are men, and most (all?) of Sandusky’s victims were young boys. ”A greater percentage of juvenile sexual assault victims [are] male (18%) than [are] adult sexual assault victims (4%).” Yet outside of the often sheltered world of sexual violence prevention advocates (and even sometimes within this circle), there is little discussion of men as survivors. What discussion of men being raped that exists tends to only refer to prison rape, and that is often in the context of humor. However, 60,500 inmates are raped each year in prison, the vast majority of whom are men.
While the national numbers say that 42% of rape survivors never tell anyone, I would wager that number is far higher among male survivors of sexual violence. This is, in part, due to the gendered construction of rape. In the language and representations of sexual violence in our culture, women are the ones who are raped. This leads to a serious problem: the invisibility of male survivors of sexual violence. How can we help male survivors heal and move forward if we do not even acknowledge they exist? What are we doing to ensure that sexual violence never happens, no matter the gender of the survivor of the gender of the perpetrator? How can we help male survivors feel safer in acknowledging and seeking help after their trauma?
3. We fail to help rehabilitate and heal perpetrators of sexual violence so that it does not continue.
So often the attitude toward those in prison is, “They did something to deserve to be there, so they deserve whatever they get.” This leads to two problems: 1. we ignore the violence that prisoners experience at the hands of guards or other prisoners. 2. we assume that prison is and should be simply a place of punishment rather than a place of rehabilitation, healing, and preparation to re-enter society.
The recidivism rates in the United States are absolutely out of control. This is because in the U.S., our criminal “justice” system exists for one purpose: punishment. God forbid we deal with the problem that caused the crime. In the case of sexual violence, how far might counseling, positive masculinity workshops, anger management training, and consent and positive sexuality training go in preventing the crime from being committed again?
After all, Sandusky is not going to see the outside of a prison in his life. However, the average sentence for rape in the U.S. is 11.8 years. Do we think that being raped brutally in prison as a punishment is going to make a person somehow less likely to commit sexual violence once they are released? Are they really going to say, “Ooooh . . . Now I know how it feels. I won’t do that again”?
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We all have a responsibility to end rape culture.
Whether through the most simple actions like our Tweets or through building healthy, positive sexual relationships or talking with our young people about positive sexuality, each and every one of us has a responsibility to work to end rape culture. No matter how much anger we feel toward people like Jerry Sandusky, we have to remember that, as Twitter user Tara Murtha says, “Rooting for the rapist to get raped perpetuates rape culture.”
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/taramurtha/status/255685975450202112″]
Originally appeared at Change From Within
Lead image courtesy of Chris_Samuel/Flickr
Where do you get the 1 in 33 number from? Most reliable sources put the number of boys who are abused before the age of 18 at 1 in 6… You ask: “How can we help male survivors feel safer in acknowledging and seeking help after their trauma?” Acknowledging how prevalent the problem is, would be a good start.
Right on Jack Owens!
I think that the comments about this article have gotten a little off topic. To respond to the original article: I would say That as male survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse myself, I believe that the author ‘s 1st premise is completely WRONG and erroneous. I say this because I do not think that he is a Survivor or at least to me sounds as if he is writing from the vantage point of someone that hasn’t experienced the full Agony of Childhood Sexual Abuse! The second point on rehabilitation is important, but still cannot be confused with the rage… Read more »
I agree Logan. Fully. But I want the self-proclaimed-civilization membership to go a few steps further. the premier focal point that is readily ignored is the damage to the child. The some replies above evolved into including seductive 15-yos being traumatized or not…being culpable or not… They fail to see or acknowledge the rule carved in titanium: Children cannot consent! They can only conform. Beneath that rule comes: It is ALWAYS the adult’s job to recognize and endure protective measures, including self-control. A basic premise of United States Criminal Code: “Those whom cannot control their unacceptable behavior will be penalized… Read more »
I think Ms. Schroeder’s point about the seductive 15-yos girls is somewhat of a weak argument in this discussion. The reason so is because then we delve into the argument on why do 16 and 17-year old boys get to treat 15-year old girls like dirt once they get them pregnant just because they’re lucky enough to be on the same side of the legal age line as them, whereas, on the other hand, American culture has the unfair inclination to treat a marriage between a 15-year old girl and a 22-year old man as a form of legalized pedophilia.… Read more »
Perhaps this will give the defenders of Jerry Sandusky a different perspective. Until you are bent over a desk and anally raped by your coach at 9 years old (which I was) I would invite you to keep your uninformed opinion to yourselves. Go to malesurvivor.org and be educated.
Jamie, it was a pretty good piece, but something to think about. There are some estimates that will suggest that as many as 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused. It’s somewhat off topic, but many of us believe that infant MGC is a form of sexual violence also. I’ve seen estimates of MGC in the U.S. as low as 55% or so. Some people would believe that the vast majority of men will experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetimes. http://1in6.org/1in6-in-the-community/ It’s much more a comment or some food for thought than a criticism. We don’t… Read more »
This “eye for an eye” sentiment shows a pretty horrible attitude by men towards other men. I’m not talking about the hatred of Sandusky, forget that for the moment, I’m talking about the idea of other prisoners agreeing to rape him. It’s this easy assumption that you can readily find a bunch of men who will line up to rape another man and get away with it. Presumably these designated prison rapists will really enjoy it, as any man would, because after all we men are happy to rape someone if there’s a good reason. We just tap into something… Read more »
Maybe my earlier post was a little obnoxious and too “slippery slope.” In simpler terms, what I’m trying to say is:
I don’t want to create a system that says it’s good to rape someone if the person really, really deserved it.
Or that it’s okay to rape someone as long as there’s a “good reason.”
Yes, that I’m 100% in agreement with.
I think the idea that a minor is either “innocent’ or “not innocent” is not good, as you say. Then if a 15 year old is “flirting” with a 22 year old man, the man assumes that she isn’t innocent, therefore it’s totally fine to have sex with her. Fact is, she doesn’t have to be completely innocent to still be victimized.
Don’t get me wrong. I think sexually assaulting a child is a worse crime than sexually assaulting an adult. I don’t think they should be treated exactly the same. I would say the main difference is in the power of the victim to resist and the absolute clarity of the lack of consent. Below a certain age and there is no question of consent happening, never any gray area about consent. Less power to resist means the crime is worse. And, there’s a good case to be made that the damage to a child is worse than the damage to… Read more »
As is often the case, wellokaythen summed it up better than I could have. I don’t think you (Joanna) and I have any disagreement about the horror of the crime, but the “innocence” angle just doesn’t work for me for the kinds of reasons wellokaythen gave. It leads to a sliding scale where you have “most innocent” (a newborn), to “extremely innocent” (e.g., your son who knows nothing of how sex works yet), to decreasing levels of innocence on up to adult victims, but who it feels wrong to categorize as lesser victims because knowing about sex made them “not… Read more »
I read this and hand hit forehead! “I think the idea that a minor is either “innocent’ or “not innocent” is not good, as you say. Then if a 15 year old is “flirting” with a 22 year old man, the man assumes that she isn’t innocent, therefore it’s totally fine to have sex with her. Fact is, she doesn’t have to be completely innocent to still be victimized.” It’s that gendered view and dynamic that just keeps on rolling along. 15 year olds flirt – it’s gender independent. Being 22 years old is also gender independent as is the… Read more »
Let’s say we allow rape as a justifiable form of punishment. Take a look at what’s down that road: Vigilante justice – “he was accused of rape, I believed her, so I sodomized him real good. I should get a medal, right?” Juvenile court system justice – the 12-year-old was caught abusing a younger cousin, so the court sent him to be raped to teach him a lesson. That ought to do wonders for his development of a healthy sexuality. Parental/school instruction – Do a pre-emptive rape as a “scared straight” tactic, just to make sure the young person knows… Read more »
Then again, I think imagining children as innocent, pure angels (more than vulnerable human beings who can’t consent) can be part of the same psychosis that imagines them as sexual partners. That’s really just the flip side of the same coin. Agreed. Even children are flawed. That’s not in any way saying they can deserve to be sexually abused, but the “pure angel” treatment is one of those thing people seem to believe to soothe their troubled emotions, because it doesn’t match up with real kids if you’ve ever had, known, or worked with any. It also bugs me when… Read more »
Agreed. Even children are flawed. That’s not in any way saying they can deserve to be sexually abused, but the “pure angel” treatment is one of those thing people seem to believe to soothe their troubled emotions, because it doesn’t match up with real kids if you’ve ever had, known, or worked with any. True. The presumption that someone is an angle (or a demon) is a bad way to go. It’s possible to believe that someone deserves the benefit of the doubt (a fair shake if you will) without thinking that they are the second coming. At the same… Read more »
No, I think it means that when a child’s first sexual encounter is one at the hands of a predator, and not consensual (or in the case of statutory rape) not entirely consensual, takes away the innocence of being able to feel safe about sexuality. They were exposed to sexuality before they were ready, and their innocence of childhood has been taken from them. For instance, my boys literally know nothing about sex or even that there’s an option that someone would touch them sexually (thank god). They’re not at a point yet to learn about “penis and vagina” (though… Read more »
“innocence” is not the opposite of “guilty.” Innocent: marveling over a butterfly on blades of grass. Defiled: not giving a fk about butterflies cuz…whatever. You’ve seen the dark-side and bled. Innocent: Seeing a star-rich sky out at the lake camp and being blown-away at infinity, at significance, at possibilities. Defiled: Freaking-out, wondering when the camp counselor is going to make the tent zipper scream for whats about to happen to you. Let’s stop apologizing for the satanic animals. They are not people! They do not deserve humane treatment. ***what it really expresses is a belief that sexual behavior is so… Read more »
I’m fascinated by the supposed “Logic” of calling for Sandusky to be raped in prison and where it leads – and also just how much bias, sexism and wrong headedness it reveals. It just makes it all very clear how many people are on band wagons and have never actually thought about the subject of rape – never considered the subject beyond a very limited view – have just been lazy and gone with the flow . I have heard one Bloggista saying Sandusky has to be raped – it’s justice – and any right thinking woman would agree. I… Read more »
***I’m fascinated by the supposed “Logic” of calling for Sandusky to be raped in prison…*** Dude! There’s absolutely zero logic involved in rape, child sex abuse, murder, etc. Application of logic may work fantastically-well in SO many venues and topics. Sandy and all the other millions of rapists apply zero logic, but again…wrong application. Its a crime of emo. It can be power rush, sexual appetite, sadism, worms in the brain…anything…anything but logic. So why do any of us try to apply logic to governing the human reactions. Violence is a natural reaction to violence. Elimination of a hazard prior… Read more »
So, let me see if I get the rule you’re proposing: If the crime is irrational, the punishment should be irrational too?
Interesting. Since virtually all felonies involve ‘irrational’ acts, perhaps we should open up the sentencing optiont to things like public stonings, stocks, dunking stools, branding irons, etc. etc. After all, “justice” is just a word, right? REVENGE is what matters!
Not proposing anything. All crime is irrational according to public policy. Law & PP are generally a function of social values and mores. Only in recent times (post WW2) has a nation (USA, France and … umm….no one else really) had the LUXURY of pondering prisoner rights and reform. It may come as news to some that criminal incarceration is a function of Law & PP and invented to punish (since BC). Dreams of reforming a sociopath is, again, a luxury of a society that values such a thing. Even in liberal/commie mecca of The People’s Rep of China, incarceration… Read more »
Can pedophilia be effectively rehabbed, though? I’ve heard a lot of people in the psychology and social services fields say that a pedophile can never really be “cured” even with rehab and therapy. I don’t know and I’m not making an argument either way. I just wonder if there are some “crimes” spurred by a mental condition or predisposition that can’t be rehabbed away. Not knowing anyone who is or has been in prison, or who works in a prison or in criminal justice, I guess I’ve always assumed that prison rape is just a stereotype or that it doesn’t… Read more »
NAMBLA has lots.
But with what children, victims and I can consider “rehabilitated;” The answer is “yes!” Yes I can rehabilitate any one of them with a 100% rate of success.
Yes, yes, we’re all impressed with your macho and manly hate-on, Rob. Care to crush a beer can for us while yer at it?
Firstly, 1 in 6 males experience sexual assault by the age of 18, so the actual rate of sexual assault against men and boys is much higher than 1 in 33. If we keep saying that there are no male victims or that they are rare, which is what the stats from RAINN imply, then people will only believe that women are victims and will only look for female victims. The way to acknowledge that male survivors exist is by simply acknowledging them and not relying on misleading statistics. Secondly, the rate of recidivism for sex offenders is about 5%,… Read more »
Jakob, thanks for bringing up the statistics about male sexual victimization, especially those from RAINN, and their unfortunate misleading nature. I know that RAINN has responded to questions about the validity of their statistics — in fact there is something posted at NSWATM about it… ht tp://goodmenproject.com/noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz/rainn-responds/ — and as a male survivor it always pains me to see well-meaning people use them in their writing as though they are an accurate representation of the number of boys and men affected by sexual violence. As for the desire to take from Sandusky what he took from those boys, I don’t… Read more »
Jacob, I just noticed and wish to apologize for misspelling your name in my reply. Sorry about that.
***Secondly, the rate of recidivism for sex offenders is about 5%,*** Que? Recidivism Of Sex Offenders Released From Prison In 1994 Matthew R. Durose, Patrick A. Langan, Ph.D., Erica L. Schmitt November 16, 2003 NCJ 198281 Presents, for the first time, data on the rearrest, reconviction, and reimprisonment of 9,691 male sex offenders, including 4,295 child molesters, who were tracked for 3 years after their release from prisons in 15 States in 1994. The 9,691 are two-thirds of all the male sex offenders released from prisons in the United States in 1994. The study represents the largest followup ever conducted… Read more »
For me, it’s the same way I think about the death penalty: the way we treat prisoners is a reflection of our society. It’s not so much about Sandusky as the national psyche: we cannot be a society that condones rape for any reason.
“Eye For An Eye” would require that a bullet pass through Sandusky’s brain, but only doing enough damage to make him as f’d-up as me and every other survivor I know. THAT would be “Eye For An Eye!”
Prison Rape would happen to that turd if he were just a convicted tax evader.
The psychotic beatings will be tweaked just a bit given the nature of his crimes, but the rape…eh…who give a flip!?!?
Anyone up for a “death pool” on Sandusky? I’ll pick April 2013.
So, are you saying you disagree with the verdict–he should have been executed?
Or are you saying that the verdict–life in prison–should be assumed to automatically include beatings, rape, and murder because that’s what prison is for?
Prison is what it is today. Its a uniform treatment of all types of people. What is experienced therein ought to remain just. OUGHT to. but society has never been able to maintain a just-treatment for its inmates. If you are a juvie in Massachusetts in 1950s-70s, you were 100% likely to be raped repeatedly and continuously. If you did not die or take your own life, you may have grown large enough to fight somewhat. The world new this fact about Massachusetts Juvies. No one did anything for children being devoured. Thus, I think I can reasonably say that… Read more »
How can we help male survivors heal and move forward if we do not even acknowledge they exist? This is a big part of the issue right here. Somehow it’s still apparently debatable if a male can even be raped because of his gender. If the rapist is male the idea is that he deserved it because he couldn’t fight him off if the rapist is female the idea is that he is always willing and you can’t rape the willing. Here is a post I did a while back on the whole, “He’s so lucky.” bit that comes up… Read more »
A lot of this venting is probably due to (1) the fact that Jerry Sandusky hurt a lot of boys and (2) lots of citizens want him to get hurt for what he did to others. It may not be the most noble impulse to want to beat the crap out of a child molester, but it’s a pretty typical and understandable one. All the more so when he is sheltered and given the benefit of the doubt by a powerful institution (in this case it was Penn State, but the Catholic Church has done this for much longer and… Read more »
I think it’s totally natural to want Sandusky to be raped/beaten/murdered for his crimes. It’s most people’s first instincts, and I don’t think the thought makes us bad. But Jamie makes such a great point about how it’s just not productive, and at times can be the opposite of productive.
I will never get the vastly disproportional sense of outrage people have toward some child molesters. I imagine that I am not the only one and cultural attitudes toward sexual behavior change rapidly from one century and even generation to the next. Of course it is only some child molester rather than all child molester that produce this inscrutable sense of an overbearing cruelty. So it would be patently false that say that all child molesters enrage us to the point that we want to rape, beat and murder them. Only male child molesters enrage us to the point that… Read more »
Where are you getting this information from? Who says that people are less angry at female child abusers? To me that seems like total bullshit. I’ve never heard anyone say that, nor have I ever read it. I think you’re either building upon your own experience or making a guess. If you read the Jezebel piece about the man who wanted his feet burned during masturbation because he was burned while a child by his abusive aunts, I bet you will feel the rage to want to beat or kill those women. I did. I feel no differently about them… Read more »
I personally don’t agree with the idea that expressing a view about a complex and nuanced subject matter is reducible to pushing an “agenda”. My specific point, however scandalous that might, perhaps more than you cared to even acknowledge, was that we should not view child molesters as monsters in the first place who we should beat, rape, and murder. I brought in the subject matter of how women are viewed differently not to say that women have it better but to drive home the point that our attitude toward child molesters is not universally applied and hence not as… Read more »
Quadruple, I agree with you that our social outrage does not extend to all sex offenders. Everyone I know who works with male survivors or deals with female offenders sees the different standard with how people regard female offenders. I cannot think of any recent case involving a female offender that sparked a similar level of anger that the Sandusky case did. As a society, we do tend to view women’s acts as less evil, and I do not think there is any agenda in mentioning or acknowledging that, although some people uncomfortable because it does not jive with their… Read more »
Well the fact that you know people who work closely with this issue lends credence to an essential part of my thesis that Joanna disputed. I did not want to rebut the claim women are looked at as equally evil in cases of child sexual abuse because I did not to look like I was pushing an agenda. As much as we want to think otherwise Sandusky probably did not see himself as betraying anyone’s trust, Denial is an essential component of the psychological complex that drives child molesters.. With women offenders we tends to think that their seemingly genuine… Read more »
More specifically, I cannot imagine anyone saying that a woman sent to prison “deserves to be raped daily,” no matter what her crime, even if it were serial child rape. At least I can’t imagine anyone on the GMP expressing that sentiment or expressing empathy with that sentiment. I think the idea of men raped in prison is currently more socially acceptable than the idea of women raped in prison. (To be fair, it is overwhelmingly men joking about male prison rape more than women joking about it. I don’t think this is something easily blamed on women or feminism.)
Now this I can get behind completely.
And I actually agree with Jacob 100%.
The aunts in that article I believe were sexually abusing this boy when they were burning him and blowing smoke in his face. Now he hires women to come in and burn his feet with cigarettes and blow smoke in his face while he masturbates.
I really do think Jacob nailed the naunce of the gender differences very well.
Good point, Jacobtk, but it goes a lot deeper than that. American society makes the mistake of placing people like Jerry Sandusky high on a pedestal to the point that they believe he is incapable of any wrongdoing. Somehow just because he fits the Mike Huckabee/Pat Boone mold of being the social prima donna who was popular in high school, married his puppy love sweetheart, and exceled in sports, it doesn’t necessarily make him a saint. It infuriates me that whenever our culture goes looking to point the finger at someone as being a suspect in a child abduction or… Read more »
Where are you getting this information from? Who says that people are less angry at female child abusers? To me that seems like total bullshit. I’ve never heard anyone say that, nor have I ever read it. I think you’re either building upon your own experience or making a guess. You can see it in the way people express anger at child abusers based on gender. Even in cases of statutory rape you can see that male teachers that have sex with students are treated much more harshly in the court of public opinion than female teachers that have sex… Read more »
I read the Jezebel article, and while there was a lot sympathy for the man I didn’t read any real condemnation of the aunts.
That’s because the article wasn’t about the aunts, the article was about the man and that’s what made it so great. It wasn’t a story of his victimization, it was about his extreme fetish and told in a very respectful manner. I’m just saying that I doubt anyone read that story and said, “Well, I’m sure those aunts were good people, deep down, and very troubled.” I think they read it and thought, “I could go beat the shit out of those fucked up women.” At least I did. I don’t feel any differently about the woman who was a… Read more »
Great piece, Jamie.
I hope to God that Sandusky gets exactly what he gave and then some. To keep denying that he did anything wrong is a joke and I hope that people see him for who he is–an old man who has a thing for boys and who found a way to have as many as he wanted. There’s a special place in hell for guys like him and I hope Satan is saving him a spot there. Chances are that he won’t last long in prison and if that happens you won’t find me crying.
How is Sandusky supposed to “get exactly what he gave”? Sandusky is not a child who can be abused an older authority figure.
More to the point, are you saying that you approve of prison rape as long as it affects people you hate? Would you be okay with making it official–say, “The defendant is sentenced to five years in prison, including monthly rapes?” Would that be an improvement to our justice system?