—
Others don’t have to earn your respect. Still, graciously grant others your respect. Otherwise, being the gatekeeper of respect borders on arrogance. Really, respect and honor occur with or without me.
Respect for others is far from discipline, neither natural nor commonplace in our times. We experience the inflection point of unkindness in our cultures. School shootings result in the thoughtless loss of life by troubled teens lurking in our plain sight. Bullies abuse others, either physically or through social media platforms. The aftermath of victimized young school kids is inherently sad. Tragically, some victimized children and teens take their own lives, result of bullying.
Landmark disclosure of sexual harassment in Hollywood, Capitol Hill, and corporate American continually disheartens. These abusers leverage their power to enforce the silence of their victims.
The empowered voices calling out their abusers transcend as lightness in humanity’s darkness. Their courage inspires. What stops this unkind culture? What heals it?
Are the abusers, the bullies, necessarily stronger, more powerful than those they prey upon? No. Absolutely, not. Entitled bullies and abusers listen to others as less than ( < ) them. Bullies believe, justified or not, that they are greater than ( > ) those they victimize. Utter bullshit. Complete arrogance.
For nearly 30 years I’ve dedicated my life to training in Aikido with Sensei Dan and Sensei Bobby. For Sensei Dan: In Aikido one learns the art of self-defense. More precisely: Character, Honor, and Discipline are the structure and foundation of Aikido. The bigger picture matters. The bigger picture defines us.
Aikido Founder O-Sensei said, “The Way of the Warrior is to give life to all things, reconcile the world and foster the completion of everyone’s journey.” The path is becoming greater than you know you to be.
Bruce Lee said, “You only want to learn the way to win, but not the way to lose, to die.” The Way of the Warrior surrenders to the art of dying: Learn the way to win and to lose. Bruce said, “To learn to lose, to learn to die is to be liberated of it.” The Way is freedom.
Bullies and abusers only concern themselves with winning. They never learned the art of dying, the art of losing. Nor do they have any desire to learn.
I’m good enough in Aikido. I’m not the complete badass. I can hold my own. When bullies attack either physically or emotionally: Wait it out. Breathe. Empty your mind. Enter the attack. Die with honor. Not exactly literal instruction, rather you get the intention: To accept that you may lose is to be liberated of it. Freedom.
In that moment: I will either win or lose. Bullies fear the shame of losing more than life itself. They will not die with honor when ‘it’s on’. No. They don’t know how. Their way is cowardice. Period.
On the Internet and on social media, bullies are faceless cowards. Really, who cares what they think? That’s what “unfriend” and call blocking are for. You’re greater than you know. You get to define you, yourself.
Bullies are those, who never learned the lesson of granting respect. Yet, we have. We listen to others as greater than ( > ) they know themselves to be.
Listening is power. We can listen to others as greater than ( > ) by first listening to others as equal to ( = ) us. Listen greater than ( > ) one step at a time. You create others into existence in your listening of them. Listen to others as greater than ( > ) by granting them that greater space to grow into.
Listen to others in kindness and compassion. Start by listening to them as equal to ( = ). Consequently, others may generously listen to you.
After Sunday Aikido practice, my friend Sensei Pili and I talked with the 10-year-old Mariko, whom we both practiced with in class. She graciously thanked us for training with her. We talked about the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday and what she was doing in school.
Sensei and I were both honored that she granted us her greater than ( > ) listening. In kind, we both listened to her as greater than ( > ), acknowledging her brave efforts in practice. She took on her own greater ( > ) than within.
It’s not that difficult to listen to others as at least equal to ( = ). That’s common courtesy, being the decent human being.
Step up and listen to another as greater than ( > ) he or she knows themselves to be. Start listening from your heart. The world may truly arise greater when we all begin listening from our hearts. Listen for what’s possible in another. That will surprise.
—
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Get the best stories from The Good Men Project delivered straight to your inbox, here.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
—
Photo credit: Pixabay