The biggest threat to your relationship is living in your home; it’s you. Here’s how to defend your main asset against yourself.
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What if your relationship tanks? You’ll probably lay out time, effort and money looking for a new one. But you might ensure you never have to, if you spend time and effort on the partner, you already have, today. Do you value your relationship? Make a lifestyle choice to focus on maintaining it, 24/7.
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Your relationship probably needs protection from yourself. The devil Infidelity is after the weak point in your relationship. Is it you?
Infidelity, it’s the disease that destroys homes; a cancer that chews up relationships. But what if you took pre-emptive action and struck back first?
From the moment you move in together, you’ll inevitably start to communicate in compliments a little less, or forget to bring her Friday flowers. It’s natural, now your conquest is complete. Beware!
Consequences await the careless.
It starts as simply a distraction, brings a smile, but awakens hormones. But it turns quickly into a tornado. It snuffs out all the light in your sweetheart’s eyes and estranges everyone; partner, children, colleagues, friends.
Face facts. Every relationship that’s happy today could be affected by infidelity tomorrow. You know this intellectually, so be proactive ahead of trouble.
Set traps for that Infidelity devil, so he never has a chance.
Here are three strategies to defend and strengthen your relationship:
Personal Boundaries Keep Temptation Out and Hormones In
The decisions you make about your boundaries are important. These decisions will help you avoid the trouble that lies in wait.
Do you flirt, ‘just for fun? While at work does it matter if you if you end up at lunch alone with someone who might be up for a quickie if you weren’t committed elsewhere? You’re at risk.
Draw your personal lines. Decide, say, not to have drinks or dinner 1+1, with any except your partner, even if it’s ‘just a work lunch.’ Be firm about your lines. Your hormones will have no opening if you don’t allow one.
Enact your decisions. Talk about your commitment.
Sharing your ‘staying safe’ strategy will help you maintain it when temptation strikes.
Keep your promises to yourself. Boundaries help keep you safe if you look after them.
But Harmless Flirting Is So Much Fun!
Is it? What happens when your body starts talking you? Are you going to listen?
Unexpected compliments are easy to appreciate. But those comments are a side road that can lead your mind astray. One flirt responded to and reflected on will open the door to receiving others; you’ll soon be looking for appreciation in all the wrong places.
What does flirting back do if not send signals?
Are you really in the market? Get back behind your boundaries before you regret something.
Will it still be fun if flirting puts your relationship at risk?
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Communicate Clearly About Your Values
What matters to your partner? Do you honor those values consistently?
By taking time to listen, with the intent of understanding, you’ll learn which elements in your relationship matter most, and you can give those your attention.
What do you say about your partner when with others? This says a lot about the health of your relationship.
Sharing how you feel about the one you love will reinforce–to yourself as well–your clear disinterest in pursuing other liaisons.
Does your beloved like to hear your words, or receive unexpected gifts, uninterrupted time, or what? Knowing their desires and acting on your knowledge is honoring them.
What does your partner value most? And do you reflect on this and resolve to add some more? You’re insulating yourself from those distractions.
No Worries, Right? They know you love them and wouldn’t stray
They do? Do you avoid any situations that could be misunderstood?
Don’t be another average ignoramus. Reputations hang on rumor, which can endlessly replay on Facebook. Don’t forget: everyone has a camera now. Even innocent meet-ups can be misconstrued.
You aren’t a special case. Give yourself an opportunity, and your hormones will take advantage.
If you value what you have, make sure your image matches your intent.
Do You Want To Play Russian Roulette With Your Relationship?
The Stakes are huge.
If you slip up, the first one you’ll hurt will be yourself.
You’ll get a scar that will not ever fade, regardless of your remorse.
Guilt eats away, remorselessly. And you’ll remember your reaction when temptation came; you’ll know you betrayed your boundaries or your word.
The devil will come again. You let him in once; he knows now how to twist your weakened resolve. You might not even resist, for the moment feeling powerful and undiscovered and thrilled with new pastures to explore. But your guilt will deepen later.
Everybody loses when trust is thrown away with such finality as if into a pit of concentrated acid that leaves no trace anything was ever there. And if you let trust go, you’ll always know who was responsible.
How much is your relationship worth? Surely it’s not worth risking?
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Are You Prepared to Repel the Threat of Infidelity?
Preparation means fronting up and admitting your vulnerability.
Take pre-emptive action today to keep this trust-breaking, relationship-destroying threat out of your home. Build boundaries, admit your weaknesses and openly love your partner.
There is no infidelity without someone who is willing to allow it. Be counted among those who will not, and your relationship will strengthen thanks to your stand.
Have you ever betrayed your partner? What did you learn about yourself?
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock