How many $6 beers have you literally pissed away with drinking buddies, when what you really need is an ally who actually cares about you and supports your direction in life?
Imagine your life is a rowboat. You have room in your rowboat for about six other people – because that’s about the limit of our intimate capacity as humans. Most guys at some point in their lives try to row the boat all by themselves. You can certainly try that method… but you may find that it’s harder, slower, and way less fun.
Imagine you had a full rowboat. Six other people along for the ride with you. You need six other individuals who you can count on.
This is where you can succeed or fail based on who you invite into your boat.
Do you invite your drinking buddies? Maybe. If they’re actively helping you with your life AND celebrating with a pint… they might be great. But what if they’re just drinking buddies? What if they’re not really helping you in any deep way with moving the rowboat forward? What if they’re actively rowing you in the opposite direction, or they have their oar in the water? What if those drinking buddies are costing you a place where you could have a strong rower in your life?
How many $6 beers have you literally pissed away with drinking buddies, when what you really need is an ally who actually cares about you and supports your direction in life? Think about that cost. That’s real money. It’s real time. It’s a real waste.
You need Allies, not Just Drinking Buddies
Most of us have three problems when developing our rowboats…
One. We don’t know how to be real with the positive contributors in our lives.
Two. We don’t know how to cut the dead weight from our lives.
Three. We don’t know how to be mentors or recruit mentors.
So if you want to build real allies into your life and get un-isolated, the 3 steps you need to take to build a solid rowboat are:
1. Get real and start connecting with the strong rowers in your boat. This can be as simple as calling up the one who you respect most and saying the simple words, “Hello brother/sister, I respect you and your friendship means a lot to me.”
2. Identify the weak links in your boat, invite them to step up with you or cut them loose and let new rowers step into the empty spots. Who is holding you back? We all have this person in our life. It’s someone who just doesn’t go beyond the surface. So you’re going to give them an opportunity to step up to the plate, or you’re going to move on. You might have to break up with a friend – that’s just part of this game. As you evolve and you grow, your friends are going to need to evolve and grow with you.
3. Recruit meaningful mentors and become a mentor yourself. Go find your Yoda! You don’t have to do it all alone.
Also by Dale Thomas Vaughn
|How I Learned to Be Happy When I Am Alone||How Guys Go From Tough and Alone to Evolved and Accountable||10 Skills Every Man Should Learn||20 Lessons From My Men’s Group That Have Improved My Life|
About the Featured Image:
UW Olympics Gold Crew of 1936, Berlin
50th Reunion at team dock.
Space unoccupied by their late teammate Charles Day.
Photo by Alan Berner for The Seattle Times©.
Dated 1 August 1986.
Original from photo collection of the S. P. H. S.