I work with men on personal transformation and I’ve seen some incredible leaps. I’ve also heard a lot of the same stories and fears from my clients… here are some common points I hear a lot.
We waste years alone in darkness, without direction, numb, lacking motivation and without a plan other than to “tough it out.” We somehow think this is manly. We also almost never seem to get any objective quality of life out of this model of behavior.
We all try to be the lone wolf – and we all suffer for it…
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In other words, we all try to be the lone wolf – and we all suffer for it. We’re less compassionate in our relationships. We’re overly competitive, to the point of losing friendships. We’re stuck in jobs we hate, like martyrs. We’re drained at the end of the day, which is when we wish we had energy to be great fathers, husbands and citizens.
Instead of breaking out of this cycle, we numb out with different forms of addiction and escapism. Left alone, we just keep getting knocked to the mat, each time a little less sure we can get up.
When we get in a group with men we trust… we excel.
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BUT…. When we get in a group with men we trust to both hold us accountable and help us up off the mat when we fall… we excel. Men who are ready to really jump into their self-evolution – if in a group of like-minded men – can empower themselves to drastic improvement across all areas of life.
Group mentorship programs really work…
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Group mentorship programs really work. I’ve seen marriages saved or improved, I’ve seen careers jump-started or turned around, I’ve seen businesses take off, I’ve seen men take leaps to their dream jobs, their dream homes, their dream vacations… all because they discovered how incredibly powerful they can be when they believe in their dreams and have a solid plan to achieve them.
I finally realized (when I was 61) that it was possible to experience life with curiosity and joy rather than as a duty and something to get through. I had no friends, was isolated and unaware. I was an Eagle Scout, had many positive experiences, continue to have a successful career, have 3 beautiful daughters and was miserable. My life-changing experience was a weekend sponsored by The Mankind Project. It was an initiation into manhood, personal responsibility and integrity. There are any number of similar organizations that can provide an environment and processes that enable intense introspection and a kick-start… Read more »
Mike –I went through much of the same experience as you –in fact just wrote about it here on the GoodMenProject –just go to: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-half-a-heart-is-simply-not-enough-mjr/
Is any one else bothered by the way words like evolved and evolution are used around topics related to men and women? It seems like it would be pretty obviously offensive in the context of discussing races or cultures.
It seems like an oddly misapplied metaphor anyway as evolution never occurs in an individual but over generations.
What a fabulous thing for men who truly want to find their true way in the world! I can only speak from my own experience, being married and divorced a couple times now and labeled as a failure by my 90 year old mother, (who hated my 2nd husband from the day she met him), over 20 years ago. Both narcissists. I’m struggling to find my way in the world as a single middle aged woman after a brutal divorce with so much hatred and anger and lying that i’m shriveled up in my “safe place”, after an abusive marriage… Read more »
This is surprisingly astute. I am usually quite weary of self-help lite observations, but when I thought about it, just about every point stuck except for the “dream” part. That reeks of self-serving capitalism which I’d expect from a Goodwill bookshelf.
Otherwise, damn.