COVID-19 packs a one/two punch for trauma victims. In these stressful, anxiety-filled times, everyone is upset, unsure, and ungrounded. Any kind of trauma—illness, abuse, war, death of a loved one, and the sometimes-resulting PTSD—creates a heightened level of stress.
The added anxiety created by self-isolation, by wondering if you have the virus, or if the person you just passed on the street will infect you, can easily flip you back into the time when nothing was safe. How can those who have experienced trauma or abuse cope with the added stress and uncertainty? As a survivor, I’d like to offer a few suggestions.
Remind yourself of the truth. It is so easy to slip back into the old thinking: this is all my fault; I’m causing this suffering; this will never end. Granted, it feels like those traumatic times are back, but try to concentrate on the differences: You have freedom of movement. You can come and go as necessary. No one is tying you up or forcing you down. Within the reasonable constraint of staying home as much as possible, you have personal freedom. You are not to blame; you haven’t caused this virus to invade our country. While we don’t know how long these circumstances will continue, they will pass, and life will eventually return to normal.
Titrate the amount of news you receive every day. If your newspaper has twenty articles on COVID-19, read one or two. Stay informed, but don’t increase your anxiety by reading the same bad news over and over. If social media helps, use it. If you get trapped in others’ online anxiety, take a break. Your Facebook friends aren’t going anywhere—they’re stuck at home, too.
Become creative in finding ways to remain social. Phone calls and FaceTime are a plus. One neighborhood in my city has a novel plan. Residents put teddy bears in the windows for children to count as they walk or drive by. They share waves from afar. Another group, who normally met to walk together at the recreation center and have coffee afterwards, met this week in the parking lot. Spaced six feet apart, each bringing their own coffee, the group spent thirty minutes sharing moments from their week. My lunch buddies have begun a round-robin email every day. We each add a little to the email, forwarding it to the next friend.
The important thing is not to isolate yourself from your friends as you self-isolate.
Remember you don’t have to be stoic all the time. I’m not advocating running around in panic, but when life feels too much, kindness toward yourself is good. You can acknowledge your fear. Perhaps you feel like you will explode: get up and out—walk, skip, jump, do the Hokey Pokey, dance, get in the shower and scream every cuss word you know. Just get the fear energy out of your body. Have a good cry. Afterwards, deep breaths and meditation may work wonders.
Find someone who has the capacity to be present with your fear. Share your feelings; doing so will help you let them go. Then be the willing listener in return, in that moment or later as needed.
Practice compassion. Compassion starts with yourself, then flows out to others. Get enough rest. Practice self-care: soft music, warm baths, essential oils, soft blankets. Eat as well as you can. Try not to link video bingeing with actual bingeing. Trust your intuition; you know what you need. Then be compassionate to others. Understand that the person in the grocery store who is rude and aggressive is scared, just like you are. Call your neighbors, perform small acts of kindness, dig deep and find patience when a bored and scared child is driving you up the wall.
Be creative. Find something that brings you joy and do it. For me, that is baking. Unfortunately, I love to eat what I bake. My usual strategy of giving it away is severely hampered right now. I hope to gain no more than five pounds. And I need to be kind to myself if the scales don’t reflect my hope when these scary times are over.
Finally, connect with your source of strength; ask for care and comfort. You may call this source God, Allah, the One, Light, the Universe, Higher Self, inner knowing or intuition. Connecting to that which carried you through trauma and healing will help you find the light in the present darkness. Prayer, however you envision it, is helpful. I remain in contact with Spirit and my guides (those angels who watch over me) by meditating, asking for their presence as I do so. I journal. I seek a younger part of myself and write with her, asking her questions and answering any she may have. I offer comfort for her fear. I go out in nature; even my backyard provides a chance to connect with trees and plants, beautiful spirits that they are. The sun on my face and the breeze let me know I am never alone, that God is constantly around me.
As the darkness of winter gives way to the burgeoning spring, remember that this bleak and constricted time will give way to abundant life again. Breathe. Together we will get through these days. Blessings and peace to you.
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